Farmer H had a regular checkup a few weeks ago, which included a blood test. He was telling me of the results, which were pretty much the same as usual.
"She says I need to eat more protein. My protein is low. And that I need to drink more water."
"All you eat is PROTEIN! And sugar. But you always have more meat than anything else. Sometimes you ONLY want meat. Not salad or sides. So I don't know how you always come up low in protein. Even when you had a test after a week of eating ham and beans! That's all protein! And we've always told you to cut the Diet Mountain Dew three times a day, and have water."
"I did buy me a case of water for the shop. Maybe you can find me some protein bars or something. To have in the morning with my banana, instead of a donut."
"I can get you protein bars. But I doubt they will be instead of a donut. More like with a donut."
"Well, maybe..."
"Here's the thing. Protein bars are not very big. They're expensive. So you're not going to eat two or three at a time, like they're candy bars."
"I won't."
I got two boxes of protein bars for Farmer H. One flavor was chocolate and peanut butter. The other was cookie dough. They have 12 grams of protein. They were six in a box, for $8-something at 10Box. I'm sure they would be cheaper at the Devil's Playground, but I don't shop there. Anyhoo... I don't object to the cost. Only that Farmer H will treat them like candy bars, and have them IN ADDITION to donuts and candy bars. There would be much more protein if he added a chicken breast to his supper every night. But where's the "treat" in that?
Anyhoo... I don't begrudge Farmer H a daily protein bar. The cost is not what annoys me. THIS is what annoys me:
WHY does Farmer H open boxes like a psycho??? How hard is it to ease your fingers under the flap, peel it back, and then peel the other flap back from the end flaps? Let me answer for you: IT'S NOT THAT HARD! This looks like Farmer H was in a frenzy, trying to get that protein bar to crumble up and shove into a sliced-open artery!
Then again... I'm just an easily-annoyable gal.
4 comments:
I'd be more concerned about why all the protein he eats doesn't show up in his blood tests. Is his body lacking something else that hinders the absorption of the proteins?
I hate boxes just torn open all willy-nilly too.
River,
Funny how you are more concerned than Farmer H's NP, who tells him such results EVERY TIME, yet doesn't seem to be running any tests to find the cause! You'd think that would be considered part of her job...
Farmer H has a myriad of things wrong with him, but none that I know would hinder protein absorption. He has pernicious anemia, which means he gets a B12 shot every week. Maybe the low protein is a sign of that (though Google says not), and will always show up, or maybe she should adjust his B12 levels (though Google says they're not related).
You'd think somebody with low protein would not have the strength to rip open a box like a barbarian, heh, heh!
The torn up box would definitely get a reaction from me! With my lack of space, I take breakfast bars out of the box when we get home from the grocery and put them in a container that is clearly labeled. That does not stop him from opening every container to find one. Some days I let it just roll off me like water, other days, I am likely to go berserk. Just depends on my mood.
Kathy,
I have been stuck in the berserk mode for a while now!
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