I Refuse To Be Raked Over The Coals

A most curious incident occurred this afternoon. I was out of my classroom most of the day, testing my students in the computer lab, the BIG TEST, the one we've been preparing for all year. This is the first time I've ever been cautiously optimistic. But that's not the curious incident.

There I sat, sweltering in a concrete-block sweatshop with twenty kids and twenty computers generating BTUs like nobody's business. I sipped from my third bottle of water in an effort not to dehydrate and end up in the hospital and on TMZ while people scream at the TV, "Dehydrated, my BUUTTTT!"  Bet you didn't know: People generate enough body heat in 30 minutes to bring a half gallon of water to a boil. That little tidbit is brought to you by The Pony, who has been clandestinely reading a medical facts and oddities website. But that's not the curious incident.

At the conclusion of my second testing block, I stopped by my classroom. My lair was bare, my charges having been herded into another classroom to be minded by a sub doing double duty. But that's not the curious incident.

THE THERMOSTAT ON MY WALL WAS SET FOR 70 DEGREES!

THAT'S the curious incident! 70 DEGREES! Not 74. And...the current temperature in my classroom was also 70 degrees. It was like I had taken a big chaw of Ice Breakers gum. I sat down and chilled for twenty minutes. Then I worked up a sweat worrying about taking the fall for thermostat tampering. Yes. That is frowned upon here. And I know it. In fact, Mr. Principal himself has been in a bit of hot water, so I'm told by a somewhat reliable source, because he dared to adjust a thermostat that was not working.

Tomorrow morning, I'm running to the office to spill my guts. I did not adjust my thermostat. Are you kidding? I don't even know how that newfangled thing works. I kept my mitts off of it ALL YEAR. And I'm not going down now.

Funny. When I went back to my room after the final bell, Thermy was roasting at 74 again. Makes one say, "Hmmm..."