This Is What I Mean

It was time to buy more dog food for Pepper and Jack. Farmer H gets it at the Devil's Playground. Sometimes he asks if there's anything I need from there, sometimes not. I haven't shopped there for over three years now, so it's usually a no. I vaguely remember him saying he needed to get dogfood a few days ago. He went on Friday.

Can Farmer H give me, the bill-payer and money-handler, a receipt in a timely manner? Like when he walks through the door and I'm sitting at the kitchen table where I do the bookkeeping? You already know the answer to that. Farmer H is like a sneak thief, waiting until the early morning hours, when I am sitting on the short couch, sometimes asleep, when he leaves the Mansion. He puts the receipt on HIPPIE where I will find it after he is long gone.

At first I thought Farmer H was just doing this to irritate me. It's not so farfetched! Now I'm pretty sure he does it because he doesn't want to be confronted with what he bought. Farmer H is allowed to buy things for the household. Even allowed to buy himself treats, as if the ones I bring him aren't enough! But I'm not happy with his latest purchases. I suspect he might be buying things that he "gives away" at his SUS2.5. You know, the business that provides him with HIS money.

The last three items on this receipt appear to be dog food. The rest are SNACKS! Not only snacks, but snacks which I never see. They do not come into the Mansion. What can Farmer H possibly be doing with so many snacks? I'm used to him buying a candy bar and soda wherever he goes. But this is too much for one guy for one day!

I'm guessing the Dr P/7UP and the CANDY BAR were snacks for him on Friday. Kind of expensive, when you can buy a multi pack and have one of each a day. But like I said, I never see such a multi pack of any snacks around here. Except for all the Diet Mountain Dew that I buy for Farmer H.

Where is the COKE and OREO 10CT and MILKY WAY? Even Farmer H couldn't consume all of that in a single day. 

I've got an interrogation on my agenda...

A Shocking Phone Call

Has anybody checked the temperature in Not-Heaven lately? I'm thinking they might be undergoing a cold snap. The most shocking thing just happened!

I was on the phone with The Pony, about Farmer H and his plans to pursue the problem flip house that has been on hold for about a year now. A tale which will be told elsewhere, when there's something to tell. My phone started beeping.

"Pony. I think that's my phone. It must be a call or some texts coming in. They'll leave a message if it's important. I'm almost done anyway." [That was regarding another tale of Farmer H, which will also be told elsewhere.]

When I concluded our call, I checked my phone. It showed a missed call, and a voicemail. The number was nothing I recognized, other than it seeming to originate in the local area, most likely Bill-Paying Town, where my doctor and hospital are. Or it could also come from Sis-Town, where a couple of people had contacted me recently about our upcoming high school reunion planned for September. I listened to the voicemail.

IT WAS ABOUT MY LEG APPOINTMENT!!!

I called back, and got the gal who left the message. 

"We had an order a while back about seeing you to help with your leg swelling. I was calling to see if you would like to make an appointment."

"Yes, I would like to do that."

Leg Gal was very polite. I took the first appointment she offered (maybe it would have been the only one!) for early next week. I don't know how much good it will do, since only one week later, I have the follow-up appointment with my NP to see how much this therapy has been helping me. As I understood it before, the first appointment is basically an evaluation.

Anyhoo... Leg Gal made sure I knew where their facility was located. It's occupational therapy, which doesn't adjoin the hospital itself, but is within a half mile or so. I made sure I was expected to wear clothing that allows access to my legs/knees. And bring my insurance card and photo ID.

My chauffeur, Farmer H, has verified that he is available that day.

Sweet Gummi Mary! 

It's only been TWO MONTHS since the order for this therapy was issued...

The Ta-a-sting Is The Hardest Part

My recovery from the not-pneumonia spread by Farmer H to me last week has taken a turn for the better. I didn't realize I had it until Thursday, when the cough started, and my chest felt the burning/wheezing. It slowly progressed into my head. Saturday evening, I started losing my taste. It happens with every cold. When I get nasal congestion, the smell and taste say "Bye, bye. See you later. Don't try to entice us to stay. We're taking a brief vacation."

I was scratching my lottery tickets when the realization hit me. Huh. My Shasta Zero Sugar Cola tastes funny. I haven't even added any lime to it. Straight out of the can. But it has an aftertaste like Pine Sol. Not that I ever drank Pine Sol. But it sure tastes like that cleaner smells. My slice of sharp cheddar just seemed not-so-sharp. And the dill pickle not as sour.

By later that night, I could not taste my mini Drumstick at all. I knew I was in for a disappointing few days. I couldn't remember how long this usually takes. Besides, I wasn't feeling my best, with the wheezing and coughing, and burning eyes. I didn't want much to eat, but I DID resent my sickness for preventing me from tasting it.

I had a leftover hot dog Sunday, that Farmer H had grilled on Thursday. Plenty of mustard. No taste. On Monday, I didn't go to town. I was wanting some chicken soup. I found a can of generic Chunky Chicken Noodle in the pantry. It's BEST BY date was May 2025. I figured it probably wouldn't kill me. Tasted just fine, heh, heh! I also had a can of sardines in mustard sauce. They were not as delicious as usual. And of course my mini Drumstick. Because I'm a creature of habit. I want my usual treats, even if I can't taste them.

Tuesday I bought some unexpired chicken soup. I had that and sardines and some Ritz crackers. In the mornings, I'd still been having my banana and Maple Brown Sugar Oatmeal.

Wednesday, I felt about 70% better. The cough had slowed. The nose didn't run. Eyes didn't water. Wheezing was gone. Yet I still had no taste. I was hopeful all through the day. Maybe by scratcher time. Maybe by soup time. Maybe by ice cream time. Nope. In fact, with the soup, I got out the sardines I'd bought by mistake. One can left. The Louisiana Hot Sauce. Which was just HOT, and not flavorful. Maybe that would clean out my sinus congestion. Nope. But they didn't taste bad. Just burned.

Thursday now, and I'm still more hopeful as each hour goes by. I even had a generic Halls MenthoLyptus Honey Lemon Cough Drop, as I have been doing a couple times a day since Tuesday. No result. 

Here's the thing. I couldn't taste, but at least I had different textures. Hot liquid soup. Crunchy crackers. Meaty sardines. Cool smooth ice cream with a crunchy cone. I can sense a bit of salty or sweet, but that's it. I still have to eat. I figured I was having about 1200 calories. Not starving. You're supposed to feed a cold, right? Or is that starve a cold... I can never remember.

I'll be buying more soup on my errands today.

In His Typical Unpredictable Fashion

A while back, we got a new water heater when Farmer H bought a big order of stuff at Lowe's for the elderly apartments. He paid our share, but it gave him enough for the discount, to save money for the apartments as well.

That water heater has been sitting in our basement, next to the old water heater. Which has been working fine in my opinion, but I don't go down in the basement workshop. Farmer H said it has been leaking. Thus the need for a new one. And the fact that this one is probably 15-20 years old, and has been cleaned out numerous times due to mineral deposits that clog up in the bottom.

Anyhoo... Farmer H had planned to get the new water heater installed shortly after buying it. But he was busy with the apartments, then Old Buddy got sick, then we had a bunch of rain that made driving SilverRedO through the yard not a good idea for removing the old water heater.

Tuesday morning, Farmer H said he would be bringing HOS home with him in the afternoon, to help install the new water heater. He didn't say as much, but I figured that meant the water would be turned off for a while, and then there would be a lag for hot water while the icy well water was heated in the new water heater. Accordingly, I took my shower three hours early, and left for town.

When I got home, Farmer H was out on his blue tractor in front of the neighbors' house. The blue tractor now with new hydraulics and two new front tires. He was trying to fill in some dirt along the edge of the gravel road where a deep ditch has washed out. Somebody has to do it!

Anyhoo... Farmer H barely got his tractor off the other side of the road so I could pass by. I almost had to get off in that still-deep ditch. Farmer H said that he could not pick up HOS, because HOS had another chore. That meant my early shower was in vain.

Wednesday around 1:00, Farmer H called me.

"I'm bringing home HOS so we can put in the water heater. What time do you take your shower?"

"I took it early yesterday! Because I thought you were putting in the water heater. I usually have it around 2:00 or 3:00. I can skip it today. I doubt the water will be ready. And you won't want to wait that long to put it in."

Exactly. Farmer H didn't want to wait. If he had revealed this new plan at 6:00 a.m. before going to town, I could have again taken an early shower. But no. Why would he do THAT?

Farmer H was here at 1:30. He left at 3:00 to take HOS back home. I am unshowered, but since I don't get all that dirty sitting on the couch and innernetting at the kitchen table, I don't think I will offend anybody by missing a shower. It's not worth rearranging my regular schedule to have one later. I am a creature of routine.

Hopefully, the water will be nice and hot later when I want to rinse out the supper dishes.

Pepper Teaches Himself A Trick

At four months old, puppy Pepper is developing a personality. He's rambunctious in the way of the young, always excited and happy to see us when we go outside. He leaps and prances, then tucks in behind us as we walk. It must be the heeler part of him. I don't recall our other pups doing this, though Jack and Juno (the lab/border collie mix) did this in adulthood, each of them sometimes poking my leg with a nose to steer me.

Anyhoo... Pepper is good about not jumping ON us. He learned that quickly with just a sharp NO! He will hop on his hind legs, but not make contact. 

Pepper knows that I bring a little treat as I leave for town. Lately it has been a bite-size piece of stale English Muffin dipped in the juices left from the Easter roasted vegetables with bacon. I'm sure Pepper can smell it. But he also looks at my hands, to see if I am carrying his treat.

Jack knows to go stand on the side porch and wait. That's where I distribute the leaving treats. Pepper seems to hope I'll drop it early. Even though I give him a (soothing) Farmer H style lecture on the way. "Pepper. You know you don't get a treat until I'm at the top of the steps. Just wait."

Today, Pepper was hopping on his hind legs, in front of me as I reached the steps and turned to toss the treats. He BARKED at me! Just once. As when you teach a dog to wait for a treat, and say, "Speak." It was coincidental timing.

Heh, heh. Pepper has taught himself a trick. He might be a genius. I'm sure he thinks he has ME trained to drop a treat when he barks.

A Round Of Good Luck At The GSCS

You may recall that I buy lottery tickets every day at the Gas Station Chicken Store. It's always been pretty lucky for me, though I do go through losing streaks, no matter where I buy tickets. 

My favorite cashier, Fave, works Thursday-Sunday. I think she's luckier for me than the others. As a token of appreciation, I give her a few scratchers every week, bought elsewhere, in an envelope. I don't expect any special "favors" from Fave. Just her handing me my tickets, infused with her luck. If I have a good week there, I give extra tickets. 

On Friday, I came in waiting to hear if Fave had won anything on those tickets I had given the day before.

"Oh, I FORGOT my tickets!"

"What? Oh, no! Were they still here?"

"Oh, I didn't forget them here. They were in a pouch in my car. I called and had my son go see if they were in there, and they were. So I'll scratch them tonight."

"That's a relief! I hope you win something this week!" Because last week, Fave won nothing! Even though I had put in a couple extra.

On Saturday, Fave was excited to tell me...

"I had a $75 winner on my crossword ticket! The back of it had SL on it. And I won $5 on another one, and $3 on the three-dollar crossword. So I won $83 this week! Also, I gave two tickets to my son to scratch. So I'll know about them tomorrow."

Which turned out to be a couple winners, so Fave won $91 this week! I was really happy for her. That's why I give her the tickets. I don't expect to be giving her losers, heh, heh.

"Well, I've been having a decent week wherever I buy. That SL means it was from Save A Lot over here, from their machine. I'm happy you got some of MY luck!"

When I bought my scratchers from Fave on Sunday, I saw that the two crosswords were 054 and 055. Not my favorite numbers on the roll, which only goes up to 059. But I won't go without crosswords just because I think the good tickets have probably already been bought out of the roll. Any number can win. Which I found out Sunday evening:

I didn't win anything at the top. I only had two words, which win nothing. But at the bottom, on the bonus words, I had a winner. That's $250!!! Not at all what I was expecting. Usually I get $5 down there, or maybe $10/15/25. I was totally surprised! Farmer H had already gone to bed, so I couldn't even gloat until the next morning!

I'll wait and cash that in on Thursday, so Fave can do it, and see what she sold me. She'll get a couple extra tickets this week.

In Sickness And In Wealth

This past week was good for Mrs. HM in the financial department. We sold the Bargain House flip (competely!), and scratcher luck was good. I'm at three consecutive days with winnings over $100. There are no BIG winners, except the $100 on a $3 crossword. But I've had a couple $50s and $25s and $15s. They all add up!

I should be dancing a jig with excitement. I'm not. I don't feel well. I blame it on Farmer H (you knew that was coming, right?), who has been waltzing around the Mansion for three weeks now, spewing his coughed and sneezed germs like Johnny Appleseed on a mission.

Wednesday, the day we had our closing on Bargain House, I was not really sick, but not really normal. My joints were extra hurty. On Monday and Tuesday, I'd had bad bouts of dizziness. Lying on my back in the master bedroom, I felt like I was in Willy Wonka's factory, spinning faster and faster, but without the delicious sugary ingredients. I figured it was just water in my ear from the shower the other day. That it was shifting around, depending on how I held my head. Or something with my sinuses, since I also had a dull headache at the back of my skull.

Thursday, I woke up with some hoarseness and throat-clearing. Through the day, my nose dripped a little bit. That's when I realized I'd caught FarmerHitis. You wouldn't think he'd still be contagious after so long having not-pneumonia. Which he'd had for a couple days, when his NP called on April 6 about his x-rays where she suspected early pneumonia. Which it turned out not to be.

Anyhoo... everything is going great, but I don't feel well enough to gloat! I have that burning feeling down between my throat and chest. You know, how it burns when you cough. It's getting a little better, but today my eyes don't want to stay open. I think they're dry because I'm dehydrated, or haven't been sleeping enough. They're not gunky or red to suggest conjunctivitis. I'm not enjoying innernetting, and the thought of going to town if the day remains sunny is off-putting.

I MUST get to town today, though. Because on Monday, supposedly we're getting the worst storm of the year, with risk of tornadoes between 5:00 and 7:00, starting around 3:00. The TV meteorologist gal said that she's usually home in her slippers then, but she plans to wear her SHOES! Doesn't that strike fear into the listeners??? Of course, she's just the Sunday morning meteorologist. Anyhoo... I need to get scratchers for today AND tomorrow. I don't want to risk my streak cooling off. That happens soon enough.

I told The Pony to be ready to run sit in the furnace closet if the weather gets bad. Not to just fall asleep early and be oblivious when lifted up in a twister! There's room in that closet to put a kitchen chair. So no hardship. It's the most interior sturdy room in The Pony's house. I know I can't make it to the basement of the Mansion, to our safe room. I guess I'll depend on the laundry room if the storm tracks from the west, as shown on simulations. Or the boys' bathroom, if it comes from the southwest.

I hope we don't lose electricity. But if we do, you'll know why I'm not around.