The Worst Dog Mom Ever

Shame on Mrs. Hillbilly Mom! After all the months of seeking to adopt a companion dog for her lonely Jack, getting one and having him disappear after a week, and then the joy of receiving a brand-new puppy from Farmer H's ex-wife... Mrs. HM has proved herself to be the worst dog mom ever!

Not deliberately! I cuddle with little puppy Pepper every morning on the short couch. He's a good boy. The playful nipping has mostly stopped. Pepper initially greets me all excited, I boost him onto the cushion, he romps a bit looking into the kitchen for Farmer H, then lies down beside me and drifts off to sleep with me petting him. 

When Farmer H decides it's time to leave for town, he says from the long couch, "Well, Pepper, are you ready to go back outside?" Pepper is not! He sits up and tries to shrink into my side, or the crack between the couch cushions. Farmer H used to reach over and grab him, but as he's getting bigger and more awkward to carry, vertically, with all four feet outstretched, and Farmer H's hands around his ribs, he's been left to get down and follow Farmer H to the kitchen. Where they go into the laundry room and Pepper gets his bowl of food. Pedigree Chopped Ground Dinner from a pouch.

Of course I help Pepper down off the couch. Heh, heh. It takes a bit of persuading to make him decide that it's time to go. Sometimes he runs back to see me a couple times, but he ends up in the laundry room, eating his food until Farmer H decides it's safe to set the rest outside and risk Jack eating it if Pepper is full.

Farmer H has been escaping in SilverRedO without incident. I have been able to get away in T-Hoe. Jack and Pepper greet me on the porch. Pepper is getting better about not getting under my feet when I walk, and not jumping up on me. At the top of the steps, I toss Jack his little scrap of bread, then drop one for Pepper. 

Pepper is not sure that bread is food. He runs at Jack, who gobbles his with a quickness. Then he comes back to me, sniffing around and ignoring his own scrap of bread. Which Jack eats. I go down the steps, pat both dogs, and tell them, "See you later, alligators!" That's our routine. I go into the garage through the people door. Normally, I open the garage door then. But with the loosing of little Pepper, I wait until I'm inside, with the engine started. I back out and immediately close the garage door as soon as T-Hoe's nose clears the garage.

Tuesday, Pepper followed me across the sidewalk. Tried to enter the garage with me. I told him "PEPPER! NO!" A couple times. While blocking him with my purse. He got inside anyway. I had to drag him by his collar to "persuade" him to go back out. He sat on the other side of the people door, whimpering and yipping.

From T-Hoe's driver's seat, I saw Pepper go up the steps, and run around to the front porch. I backed out, and closed the garage door. Went to town as normal. When I came home, Jack ran around to the carport as usual. Instead of jumping over the side after a squirrel, he waited for me to pull into the garage. Sometimes he comes in while I'm turning off T-Hoe and gathering my stuff. I hit the remote in the car, to close the garage door.

Indeed, Jack had come in to greet me. He's pretty smart. These days, it's the only individual attention he gets without Pepper jumping on his head when I pet him on the side porch. We had a brief lovefest, then went out the people door. Pepper was waiting at the top of the steps. He came around to the side porch for petting. He whimpered the whole time! That's a new one. He's usually hyper and happy during the outside petting.

Jack almost got knocked off the side porch by Pepper, and walked towards the kitchen. I figured he was going to get a drink, then come back when I reached the door, for his treat. But no! Jack came back with an empty water bottle that had obviously been used as a chew toy. He dropped it, and looked expectantly at Pepper. Who ran towards it, and Jack came back to me. He's a smart one, I tell you!

Anyhoo... I got inside and gave out treats. All but one eaten by Jack. Then Farmer H hollered from his recliner:

"YOU LOCKED PEPPER IN THE GARAGE!"

Oh, the shame! I had no idea! All the times Farmer H has locked up assorted pets, and now I'M the bad guy!!!

"I come home and didn't see Pepper. Jack was here. I asked him 'Where's Pepper?' and he just wandered around. Then I opened the garage door, and Pepper run out. He wasn't barkin' or nothin'. He must have been sittin' there waiting for somebody to open the door."

"Oh, no! It must have been so cold in there on the concrete floor!"

"He was fine."

"I can't see him! Once I'm up in the car, I can't see a thing down by the tires. I backed out and closed the garage door as soon as it could come down and not hit the car. I guess Pepper ran in as I was rolling out. The garage door didn't stop, like when they run past the eye. I could see the garage. In fact, I was watching to see if Pepper went in. There's stuff in there that he probably shouldn't get into."

"He was fine. Maybe he won't do that again, seeing as how he got trapped."

We'll see. I apologized to him profusely during our Wednesday morning couch session.

Genius Cannot Escape

Genius might have thought he escaped tornado alley when he moved to Pittsburgh. 

In reality, he did not. A tornado can find a Hillbilly family member if it wants to! 

Monday afternoon, Genius sent me a picture of his back yard, from the top level of his own mansion. I think it's his back yard, and the picture is from high above, so I'm assuming. I hope that doesn't make a rumpus of me. I've never been there in person. The grass and garage roof were covered with about an inch of snow.

Anyhoo... Genius said, "Wasn't expecting more snow!"

"We had flurries this morning. And tornado warnings last night."

"We had tornado warnings last week, and 70 mph wind gusts on Friday. We ended up losing power for about 26 hours from Friday night to Saturday night."

"Oh no!"

"We survived! Haha. The battery system I had kept us with enough power to keep the fridge and water heater running, and charge devices, so not too bad."

"You ARE a GENIUS!"

Heh, heh. I didn't reveal that OUR wind gusts were only 60 mph. And that we didn't lose power. I don't want Genius thinking we have it easy around here.

Staying In

No town trip town Monday! Too cold for me. High in the 20s, winds over 35 mph. No thank you. I'll stay in the Mansion with my undertable heater! 

A big storm rolled through last night around 5:15. We knew it was coming. I even sent Farmer H a text telling him to be home by 4:00, because the bad weather was expected between 4:30 and 6:00. Of course he didn't reply. I could see that he'd read it by mid-afternoon. I had no idea if he would comply or not.

Thank the Gummi Mary, Farmer H rolled in around 4:15. I'd made sure I was to town and back by 3:30. Temps were in the mid-60s then. At 5:00 the sky grew black. Winds picked up even more than the 40+ mph they'd been all day. The trees out back were swaying wildly. Rain started. TV and internet ceased. Around 15 minutes later, they came back. 

That dang Farmer H was watching This Old House on PBS. I suggested that it might be a good idea to check a local channel for weather updates. Since our phones had just gone off with a TORNADO WARNING. Farmer H said it was fine, that the sky was lightening up, and it was probably already past us. He DID switch channels, and the radar showed the worst part right over us. There's a slight delay in their signal, I think.

Anyhoo... we were expecting temps down to 20 degrees Sunday night, with snow flurries. I was worried about little Pepper, but Farmer H reminded me that Pepper had his house full of cedar shavings, out of the wind. He scooped Jack's shavings back into his house outside the kitchen door. Jack is always rearranging his bedding!

Monday morning, Farmer H stepped out the laundry room and called to Pepper to come inside for his couch time. No Pepper. More calling. Then Pepper came running from around the kitchen window bulge.

"I think Pepper musta spent the night with Jack in his house. They both come running from that direction when I called him."

That's good! Pepper and Jack are becoming buddies. Two warm bodies are better than one. Jack's house is insulated, with a shingle roof. Pepper felt warm to the touch. Not even cold toes like on one of the warmer mornings.

I saw snow flurries around noon. Jack and Pepper romped for a while in the sun on the kitchen porch. I guess you could say we had sun-snow. It was weird. Warmer tomorrow, up to about 40. Then 70s on Wednesday and Thursday.

Spring is almost here.

Jack Is A Regular Tom Sawyer

Jack has accepted puppy Pepper fairly well. He's not grumpy. Lets Pepper jump on him. Pepper's favorite wrestling move is to jump on Jack's shoulder, and wrap his front legs around Jack's neck. Jack doesn't growl or snap. He slowly walks away, dragging Pepper's back legs along the porch until Pepper lets go.

When food is involved, Jack doesn't mess around. While he's never been nippy or greedy when being handed a treat, he now wastes no time in gobbling it up. If I toss it on ground, no more sniffing and looking at me like, "This is all you've got?" Nope. Now Jack grabs it and eats it fast. If Pepper comes sniffing around, he'll growl. Fair enough. Manners must be learned.

Jack spends his days on the front porch. When I leave for town, he trots around to meet me at the side porch. I assume Pepper has been spending days with Jack. On Saturday, Jack came to see me off. Without Pepper! I quizzed him as to Pepper's whereabouts, but no response. Finally Pepper came running around from the front porch, to snuffle around the crumbs Jack left from his stale bread. Of course I had a small piece for Pepper. He sniffed at it, and went back to Jack's area. Growl. I showed Pepper the dry food in the self-feeder. He looked at me like I was crazy.

Anyhoo... on Sunday morning, I heard a commotion on the front porch. Thumping. Like when Jack or Pepper toy around with Farmer H's ceramic/resin animal figures. I heard some barks. They didn't sound like Jack. Didn't sound like Pepper's yips. I wondered if there was a neighbor dog in the yard. I never see them, but Farmer H does. The barking stopped, but I still heard some gamboling.

I peeped out the clear little square in the patterned glass window beside the front door. I could see down below, where one of Farmer H's figurines had blown over a month or so ago, and broken. In true Farmer H style, he scraped the pieces together, and just left it! I could see that now he had put the pieces into a box. And just left it. Baby steps...

Now Jack was chewing on that box! It's a cardboard box, used to bring home items from Save A Lot. Jack had ripped several chunks off one side, and was struggling at the corner. Pepper watched, hopping back and forth, to get a better view. Jack coolly gave him the side-eye, to make sure he was watching. If Pepper tried to get closer to the box, Jack growled.

Pepper ran down the steps and under the picket fence I despise. Well. That was not part of Jack's plan. He stopped chewing on the box. Walked to the top of the steps and looked into the yard. I could see his nose twitching. I figure he was looking for his audience. Then I saw Pepper romping along the brick sidewalk. Jack turned and came back to his chewing box, ignoring Pepper.

Pepper was so proud! Prancing along with a foot-long piece of dried-up yucca leaf in his mouth. It looked like frayed rope. He started up the steps. Tripped a couple times, landing his chin on the next step. Then he was at the top, mouthing his yucca leaf. Jack turned to look. Pepper dropped it and went to the box, sniffing around. Pepper seemed perplexed. THIS was all? He attempted a timid bite, then walked away from the box. 

Jack is kind of a Tom Sawyer, making Pepper believe that chewing on an old box is as great as whitewashing a fence.

Pepper Is Free!

On Friday, we decided that little puppy Pepper is ready for release. At 10 weeks, old enough to be left on his own to roam the acreage. He's been here for four weeks. He's growing. He needs to learn doggy things, and not be caged up in a 4 x 10 foot pen on the back porch. Let the record show that by "we," I mean basically Farmer H.

Of course I would like to keep Pepper in protective custody forever. But he's not a house dog. There's no point in holding him captive, even for safety. That's no life for a dog. He needs to romp and play. Enjoy companionship with Jack.

Farmer H had Pepper out on Monday evening. Pepper roamed the yard with Jack while Farmer H sat on the front porch. Pepper has been having afternoons out for a while now. He has fallen down the steps many times, but has now mastered climbing up and down. He fell off the side porch twice (that I know of), but Farmer H said, "He's fine. He's a pup. Their bones are soft, like kids." (!)

In his typical photography style, Farmer H got a picture of Pepper:

Not a very flattering photo, but that's our Pepper on Shackytown Boulevard.

Hick planned on leaving Pepper out for a while, but Pepper was not quite ready. He sat outside the kitchen door and howled when Farmer H came inside. Also, Farmer H didn't have his drill to take down the sides of Pepper's pen, so he could get in his dog house. He went out and got Pepper for his pen.

Friday, Farmer H forgot his drill down at his SUS2.5. He DID go by the senior apartments and get one to bring home. Took down both walls. Plugged in the water bowl, because it's supposed to be 20 degrees on Sunday night. Pepper spent the evening exploring. Figured out that he can get to his "pen" from both ends of the porch. But seemed mystified that he could walk in and out. Also curious about drinking from the plugged-in water bowl, with his sitting right beside it.

Farmer H rode the Gator over to the BARn field to start a fire and burn his good-deeded highway chairs. Pepper did not follow! He went up on the front porch. That's a good thing! He can learn the joy of running beside the Gator later. 

Pepper roamed the porch Friday night, setting off the motion lights by the kitchen door. He slept in his house like normal, after spending time with Jack, who sleeps on the front porch in warm weather.

Saturday morning, I made Farmer H put the collar on little Pepper. Somebody will snatch him in an instant if they see him out by the road. At least he is marked as TAKEN with a collar.

We had worried that Pepper might try to chase SilverRedO when Farmer H left. Farmer H had planned to stop down by the mailbox for a while, and see if Pepper and Jack showed up. Jack is usually not a chaser, but will occasionally follow. He knows his way around and comes back home. Farmer H reported that Pepper ran back up on the porch when he closed the door of SilverRedO.

It's just after noon on Saturday, and Pepper is roaming around the porch by the kitchen door and going to his lair. I'm hoping he stays on the porch when I leave for town.

Getting By With A Little Help From HM

Last week I was bellied up to the counter at the Gas Station Chicken Store, waiting for Fave to scan my winners. A lady had just left after pre-paying for gas. Which is a topic that intrigues me.

The GSCS is not modern. You can't use a card to pay at the pumps. It has the old-fashioned pumps where you just pick up the nozzle and then lift the handle it had been sitting in to turn on the pump. I'm pretty sure Fave or the current clerk also needs to turn it on from inside the store, because I hear a thingy beeping when somebody is outside trying to pump, and then Fave walks over and pushes a button and the beeping stops. 

I don't buy T-Hoe's gas there because I can't step up and over the concrete islands where the gas pumps sit. But I DO know the GSCS has a policy that if they don't know you, you have to come inside and pay first, or leave your driver's license or credit card with the clerk before she'll turn on the pumps. 

I've seen people hand over a twenty. Or a five. And say that's how much gas they want. Fave turns on the pump and tells them okay. HOWEVER, I'm pretty sure she can't set those pumps to stop at a certain amount like they can with the more modern pumps at Casey's. I think people just believe this is so. Or they realize their face has been recorded coming into the store (and also outside, but they may not know that). Anyhoo... I figure it kind of runs on the honor system for them to only pump that amount.

My suspicions were VALidated this day when that lady came back inside as Fave was totaling up my new purchases.

"Oh, I'm sorry! I went 50 cents over! I came in to pay."

"That's okay. I've got it. I'll pay it for you."

"Really? That's so nice!"

"Not a problem. I've got change coming back." 

Indeed. I was getting a dollar back. Fave could just give me 50 cents instead. Yeah. It's not like Mrs. HM is a great philanthropist, forking out endowments to the downtrodden at every turn. But I didn't want that lady to have to wait for my ticket transaction. It was easy enough to help her out.

Farmer H is not the only Do-Gooder in this family.

Another Illogical Response

Remember my newest snack food, the Mingles? Those puffy treats made by the Pringles people. I was unhappy because the bags say that a serving is 37 pieces, and each bag contains "about 6" servings. Yet of the two flavors I had tried, the Dill Pickle/Ranch, and the Cheddar/Sour Cream, the first had 5 servings with 7 pieces left over, and the second had exactly 5 servings! That's false advertising! They'd better be described as having "about 5" servings.

Anyhoo... I counted out my last serving of the third flavor, the Sharp White Cheddar/Ranch on Monday. I was shocked to discover that this bag contained EXACTLY 6 SERVINGS! Well! That was newsworthy! So I hollered in to Farmer H, sitting in his recliner with supper.

"Hey! THIS bag of snacks had exactly six servings!"

To which Farmer H replied:

"I would of, but Jack was in the way."

"What in the Not-Heaven are you talking about? That has nothing to do with what I said."

"I didn't take no more pictures of Pepper, because Jack got in the way."

"Okay... not sure what Pepper and Jack have to do with my snacks having the same amount as the label says."

"I thought you was talkin' about the pictures you asked me to take of Pepper."

Once again, I suppose the excuse is that he HEARD ME, but just wasn't listening to me.