The Possum Re-Visited

He's baaaaack! That dang possum showed up again on Friday night. It was around 8:30. The first motion light brightened, and I could see him nosing around in the corner. I don't know what the fascination is with that corner. I never toss Jack's treat there. It's where the squirrels sometimes run down the pole to escape the porch. I don't know if possums get along with squirrels, or if they are sworn enemies.

Anyhoo... I called to Farmer H. "The possum is out here again! He's set off the other light now. He's headed around to the water bowl."

My hero, Farmer H, came to the rescue. Again in his tighty-whities. He went out on the back porch through the laundry room. The lights had gone off, and didn't come back on. Farmer H walked around the porch to the front door, clapping his hands. 

"Did you see it?"

"No. He must of got away."

"Do possums climb the posts? Like the squirrels?"

"Yeah."

I'll take his word for it. I don't want to research possums. They're creepy. I really regret sweet-talking this one for the past six months!

Perhaps Mrs. HM Should Take More Care For What She Wishes

You know I've been hoping that Farmer H will finally get an oil change for T-Hoe. The warning light has only been on for six months now. I've asked many times. More than once a month. Farmer H has, in the meantime, gotten oil changes for SilverRedO and A-Cad, on consecutive days! But poor T-Hoe only gets a quart added here and there.

I shouldn't have to spend my valuable time wishing for such a basic service. The autos are Farmer H's responsibility, and he's shirking! How dare I hitch my wagon to a star! I'm shooting for the moon with this outrageously selfish demand!

Anyhoo... when I picked up The Pony for our BBQ on Thursday, we stopped by Country Mart for some provisions. As I pushed my cart/walker out to T-Hoe's rear to load them, I noticed the right rear tire.

"Is it just me, or does that tire look low?"

"Huh. Let me see." The Pony took a look, and walked to the right front tire as well. "Yeah. It seems low, compared to the other one."

"I wouldn't know for sure. The back tires are the ones where the sensors don't work. So the low tire symbol is always on, because T-Hoe thinks they have ZERO pounds of air pressure."

The Pony told Farmer H when he came in, as we were sitting at the table binge-watching Derry Girls on The Pony's laptop.

"Huh. I better take it over to the BARn and check." Said Farmer H, turning on his heel.

Maybe having The Pony bring up such matters is the way to go! Anyhoo... what happened after that was typical Farmer H behavior.

I went out to the garage on Friday. I looked at T-Hoe's right rear tire, to make sure that it hadn't deflated any more. It looked okay. I opened the driver's door to climb in.

THE DOOR WOULD NOT OPEN ALL THE WAY!

Farmer H KNOWS I need that door to open completely, to get my knees inside. I have told him this time and again. T-Hoe must be parked in the garage so that the door opens all the way. Which means between the 2x4 studs. Otherwise, it slams into the 2x4s, and the door can only partially open. I can't bend my knees tight enough to get my feet in.

This time, I got the right leg in, but took three tries to squeeze in the left one. I had to grab my pants leg and force the knee to bend tighter. It was uncomfortable.

Once inside, I noticed the steering wheel was almost on the ceiling! Okay, that might be a bit of an exaggeration, but it had been moved to the highest notch. I don't drive like that. I had to click the lever and put it down.

No, these are not attempted-killing-me actions. But Farmer H should at least show enough respect to park and try the door before shutting down T-Hoe and leaving him in the garage. And put the steering wheel back like it was. Of course I had to inform Farmer H of the error of his ways. Not that it will do any good.

"Hey, you parked where I couldn't get the door all the way open! It took me three tries, and it hurt. I've told you to make sure the door opens all the way. AND, I don't want to reach up to the sky to steer! I had to put the steering wheel back like I had it."

"I didn't move the seat."

"I never said you moved the seat."

"Well, I have to be able to drive! For my feet to reach the pedals!"

"It was only to the BARn and back. What are you, a 7-Little-Johnston?"

"No. I thought I put everything back like it was."

Let the record show that Farmer H is my height. 5' 8". I have no problem reaching the pedals with my feet. Are we to believe that Farmer H has extra-short legs, and an extra-long torso? Let me answer for you: NO. Farmer H LIKES to drive with his seat pulled all the way forward, the steering wheel rubbing against his belly. It is not a necessity due to his appendages. 

At least he put air in the tire. Now, I need to have The Pony complain about the oil.

A Hobby Worthy Of Giving Up A Treat

My little dog Jack forsook me on Tuesday afternoon, in favor of digging several holes under the squirrel feeder in the back yard. He came running as I was coming up the driveway. Stood with front paws on the little curb along the back edge of the carport. THEN, after looking over his shoulder, tail wagging, when he heard the garage door go up... Jack jumped over the side, and ran to the feeder.

I stopped to watch. Jack was interested in something underground. He'd dig frantically, then stick his head in the hole. Dig some more. Listen. Dig a little to the side. He kept digging. Sticking his head in. A couple times, it looked like he had something in his mouth. Like he was chewing. Then he'd dig some more, deeper. At one time, he had his whole head and shoulders underground. All I could think of was baby moles. Jack does enjoy a tasty baby mole every now and then.

I guess Jack didn't get all the critters out of their underground lair. He did the same thing on Wednesday afternoon, except for the frantic digging. Jack walked in a wide circle around the feeder. Tilting his head like he was listening. I tried to get a picture, but he was roaming every time I tried to snap it.

Farmer H has been filling the feeders, even though his buddy has not been back to harvest the squirrels. In fact, Farmer H complained that "Them deer must be eatin" the corn out of the squirrel feeders! It keeps disappearin'."

I think something else is eating it. Like whatever is in that tunnel. Maybe just eating what gets spilled out onto the ground by the squirrels. I don't know if rabbits and moles can stand up high enough to eat out of the feeder.

At least Jack has found a new pastime to keep his mind off being the only dog here at the Mansion. He must enjoy it quite a bit, because he didn't even bother to come to the kitchen door for a treat of grease bread and pork chop bone.

Mrs. HM's Little Friend

There's still no sign of our briefly-rescued dog, Lucky. And we never got another clue about Pupsie. It's starting to feel like the Mansion is the black hole of adopted pets!

Back when we had Pupsie, I could see her during the day, as I sat at HIPPIE at the kitchen table, and she sprawled in the sun on the corner of the back porch. For a dog who wouldn't let us pet her, she sure liked to be on the side of the house where we were.

Sometimes at night, I would hear Pupsie scratching at the door mat outside the kitchen door. I'd sweet-talk her for a bit, as I did when she laid down in the sun. All for naught, though. And sometimes, I'd yell at her NO, like when I would see her in daytime walk around to the water bowl, and hear her digging the water out.

Funny how after Pupsie disappeared, I'd sometimes still hear the scratching outside the kitchen door at night. Looking out, I saw nothing but darkness. I've never heard or seen a pet after they've gone over the rainbow bridge to a big farm upstate. But that doesn't mean it can't happen for some people. Pupsie is not a likely candidate for me, anyway. That would have been my Sweet, Sweet Juno if such an incident was meant for me to detect.

Anyhoo... Farmer H has since put up two solar lights with motion detectors. Not for any specific reason, other than he got a deal on a bunch of them. They come on as darkness falls, and light up brighter if Farmer H comes to the kitchen door after dark. Or when my little Jack makes his nightly trip to the water bowl between 8:00-8:30. I see the first light brighten, then the second. I look out the kitchen window and see my Jack, his tail in the air, calmly strolling around the kitchen nook. The lights dim again, and brighten in reverse order as he walks back to the side porch and down to lie in the hole he's got under SilverRedO. 

A couple days after Lucky disappeared, Jack went to the water bowl, and startled me by coming back from the side porch area. I think I wrote about it. Like he was doing laps around the porch, tracking something, rather than turning around and going back to his hole. I had hoped then that maybe he had gotten a scent of Lucky.

Anyhoo... for the past couple weeks, I've been randomly hearing that scratching at the kitchen door mat again. I figured that maybe Jack, being lonely, had come up to lie outside the door where I was. And was scratching and turning on the mat before settling down. The lights would go on, but I didn't see Jack walking to the water. This was usually later, around 10:00.

Tuesday night at 7:02, the solar lights brightened. I looked out. With the time change, it was actually 8:02 as a dog would feel the time. Jack's water routine. Huh. Jack was walking around in the corner of the porch where Pupsie used to have her nap. Sniffing. Then he started toward me, as if to go around for his drink. The second light brightened. 

THAT WASN'T JACK!

It was something smaller, with a pointy tail. It ambled not towards the kitchen nook and water bowl, but towards Juno's old dog house, right outside the kitchen door! I lost sight of it. 

I THINK IT WAS A POSSUM!

I hollered to Farmer H that I thought we had a possum on the porch. He came to the kitchen in his tighty whities, and went through the laundry room to look out. I heard Jack start barking out by the garage. The lights dimmed. Farmer H hollered, "GET 'IM, JACK!" A couple of times.

I don't know what happened. We didn't see anything. But I have a sneaking suspicion that all summer I have been talking to a POSSUM outside the kitchen door!!!

The Continuing Story Of An Old Gal And Her Scratchers

Just when you think it's safe to go back to the left-side lottery machine at 10Box... 

It's really NOT! Which I discovered when I was yesterday years old. 

That left machine has been working for several weeks now. Rain or shine. No excuses about "cloudy weather." I was leery at first. I'd only scan in a simple $3 winner at first, to try it out. Then I wouldn't fret about getting a worker to open the machine if it took my money. I was willing to risk it. Of course if other people were there, I first observed whether they were having any problems with the left machine. If they got tickets out, I put in my money/winners.

So I thought nothing of using both machines yesterday. I had gone in for ice cream. That's what Farmer H and The Pony want for desert after our cookout on Thursday. I got some cherry chip ice cream, and regular cones and waffle cones. Then I got a box of Drumsticks, which Farmer H specifically requested. And also some chocolate-coated vanilla ice cream bars on a stick. He had asked for Heath Bars, but 10Box didn't have them.

Anyhoo... after I checked out with enough sugar to put Farmer H into a coma, I wheeled over to the lottery machines. A woman and an old man were at the left machine. I don't know if they were together. The woman picked up tickets out of the tray, and said, "I'm going to get an attendant." I didn't know what that was about. I thought maybe she had scanned in a winner that didn't take. Sometimes they do that. They don't add it to the total, and if you try to scan again, it says already redeemed.

The Old Man saw me coming. He darted to the right machine. Then back to the left. He was muttering something, but not speaking directly to me. I scanned a $20 winner into the right machine, and got two Tetris, a Christmas Lights, and a crossword. The Old Man was getting tickets out of the tray of the left machine. Then he walked away.

I scanned in a $15 winner. I selected a crossword, a Tetris, and a Christmas Lights. As I was picking them up out of the tray, careful to put them with my other tickets so I could remember to mark which machine they had come out of... The Woman and a Manager came up behind me.

"Did you just get a crossword ticket?" asked Manager.

"Yes..." I was still trying to organize my tickets.

"THIS one?" asked Manager, as she pulled it from my hand. I didn't like that much. 

"I don't know. I'm trying to organize my tickets. I got some out of the other machine, too. But yes, I pushed that one to get a crossword, and I only have one in my hand."

"Yes. It would be THIS ONE, " said Manager. 

As if I was an idiot. Which maybe I AM, but at this time I was just confused because I was trying to count up my tickets and she had snatched one while I was still mentally counting. She wasn't rude or anything, just assuming I was on the same page as she was, when I was just about to turn it.

"THIS ONE. This half. She has the other half of it." Manager motioned to The Woman. "The machine didn't tear it right. So I'll take out two crosswords, and give you each one. So you can play your crosswords!"

That made perfect sense. The Woman and I declared that we both loved the crosswords, because they take longer to play. And the new Christmas Lights, which is very confusing.

"I'll give her the first one, because she bought one first. And you the second one." Manager handed us each a crossword ticket. "Then I'll have to write up a report about the torn ticket, to resolve the machine."

Yes. That was fair. But I wonder if the torn ticket was a winner. And if The Woman had a winner, on the ticket I was SUPPOSED to get out of the machine. You never know when such an odd occurrence will set up a big win.

My crossword lost. I suppose I'll never find out about the other two.

A Mistake Not To Be Repeated

Dang phone scammers! So annoying. I had a repeat caller on Monday. At least this one makes no pretense of changing the number. They called a couple weeks ago. Usually, when you block one, they resort to another number, and continue calling. I guess my block didn't work. I'll have to try again.

Anyhoo... my phone didn't warn me SCAM LIKELY. That's not a big deal, because it's often not accurate. It's "warned" me before on legitimate calls, but I recognized the number. I don't answer unknown numbers. I just let it ring. If the caller leaves a voicemail, I will listen.

Here's the deal. This one was tricky. It starts out saying, "HM? HM? If this is HM, press 1. If it is not HM, press 2. If you want to stop receiving these calls, press 3. If you want to speak to an agent, press 4."

Well. I knew I did not want to speak to any kind of "agent." And I did not want more calls. So like an idiot, I pressed 3. Of course all that did was let the scammers know they had reached a working phone number. Because once I pressed 3, the recording started on the same loop again. AND I got another call from the same scamming number 98 minutes later!

This time, I just pressed 7, which is the cue for my voicemail to delete the message. I should have done that in the beginning. I don't know if it would have stopped these scammers, but I think it would have been better than giving a response to their prompts.

When I tried to do a free phone lookup of the number, it just showed that it was a SCAM CALLER, and a ROBOCALL. Nobody had left any comments, but it was being reported frequently. I suppose nobody ever talked to an actual person, because they usually leave comments about the entity behind the calls. They probably make money off of selling lists of working numbers to other scammers.

There are worse problems I could have. This is just annoying. 

Mrs. HM Protests An Instant Reward For Her Selflessness

Sometimes, Even Steven is out of line. At the grocery line, no less!

Saturday, I stopped by Save A Lot to get some Stove Top Stuffing. I had a box in the pantry, but the date said it was best by 2022. I figured I could do better. I normally don't go to the store on Saturdays. It's busy with working people who have no other time to shop. Or with people bringing their kids, because there's no school to babysit them. And I especially do not go on a Saturday at the first of the month, when so many people get their government or social security or retirement benefits deposited in their accounts, or loaded on their cards. It's a hectic time.

Still, I wanted to use the Save A Lot lottery machine. I'd just been in 10Box the day before. I bought tickets there, and I was unable to find the Stove Top Stuffing. Even the lottery-playing checker was not sure what aisle. She suggested the one I had just looked on. And added that A LOT of people ask about it, and it is apparently on the bottom shelf somewhere.

Anyhoo... I pulled into Save A Lot, and saw a multitude of cars. But my rightful handicap parking space was open! I figured that must be a sign. It's right next to the cart return. I grabbed one and hobbled in. I didn't have a big winner from my scratchers, but my good-deediness almost got me a payout!

As I expected, the store was FULL. In fact, right in front of me, a woman and her three teenage kids strolled inside. I could hear a younger kid screaming. A dad and young son were on the bean aisle, and he was on his phone. I'm pretty sure they had a list, and he was making sure not to get the wrong thing.

This was also a special weekend, because Save A Lot had been advertising on the radio (Farmer H said) that you could get 6-for-$25 this weekend, on their usual 5-for-$25 meat deal. Also, you could get $10 off on any $50 purchase. AND they were giving out vouchers for $50 FREE groceries (no alcohol, tobacco, pet food) to people with electronic benefit cards. Local law enforcement officers were supposed to be there handing them out until they ran out.

Anyhoo... I was just there for a few items. Hopefully quickly! I grabbed a can of biscuits. A bottle of Caesar salad dressing for when The Pony comes out for grilling. Two boxes of stuffing. And three bananas. So basically, I had five items in the child seat of my cart when I headed up front to check out.

Only two lines were open. The man in front of me had a cart full. He was setting things onto the conveyor. A couple had pulled into the second line, also with an overflowing cart. I waited. A black lady around 30-something walked up, glanced at both lines, and stood in the second one. She had obviously just come in for a few things. She was wearing pink pajama pants, and some fluffy house slippers. It was the day after Halloween, or I might have thought she was in costume. She didn't even have a cart. Just a bottle of Coke, a plastic square container of blueberries, and two things I forget.

"You can go ahead of me. I have a cart to lean on."

I didn't mind, because I'd hate to be holding awkward items while waiting in line. She thanked me and got in front of my cart. I could tell the checker was frazzled. She must have had a Not-Heaven of a day, with these specials and the resulting crowds. She was young and blond. I've not seen her there before.

Of course That Lady's blueberries did not have a price on them! "Do you remember how much these were?" Nope. Frazzle took them and started over to the produce section, which is fairly close to the registers. Then she came back. "I'm just going to charge you $X for them." I don't remember how much, but it seemed fair enough.

Then the phone rang. Frazzle answered, while ringing up That Lady's other three items. I put mine on the end of the conveyor. Frazzle kept that conveyor going. Stopped it when it got to her end. That Lady had her card out and ready for the total. 

THEN FRAZZLE SCANNED A BOX OF MY STUFFING!

"Wait! No! That's mine!"

Frazzle was startled, but took my stuffing out of the cart where she had been putting That Lady's items. Then she subtracted it off her register.

"You almost bought my groceries for me, heh, heh!"

That Lady laughed. I hope she looked over her receipt. Frazzle should not have been trying to do so many things at once. Still, I could not stand there and let That Lady pay for my stuffing. 

A reward for my good deed should not result in a "fine" for somebody else!