A Tangled Ball Of Snakes

My first week of occupational therapy for my legs was cut short because my OT was out sick on Friday. On Monday, I got the gist of how that appointment would have ended. 

The leg-wrapping involves three wraps on each leg. They're a lot like ACE bandages, only better. The OT says they have two-way stretch, and work while I'm moving, AND at rest, to facilitate fluids being squished out of the tissues, and not pooling due to gravity. They don't loosen and sag like the one-way stretch ACE bandages. They also don't have Velcro at the ends, so need to be taped.

The wraps are in three sizes. They're centimeters, so I don't remember exactly. By looking at them, I would say the widths are about 2 inches for the smallest, that goes on the foot/ankle. Then 3 inches for the next one that overlaps the ankle and goes to the knee. And 4 inches for the one that goes over it, from ankle to knee.

But wait! We're putting the foot before the knee! The whole thing starts with lotion on my bare leg, then a stretchy net kind of open-ended stocking going toe knuckles to above the knee. Then a wide (maybe 12 inches) swath of cotton batting that wraps from ankle to just below the knee. THEN the wraps are applied, starting at the ankle/foot. Once all three wraps are on and taped, the net stocking is folded down over the top. That covers up the tape, lest it get caught on my pants and get pulled loose.

Anyhoo... the whole process takes about 20 minutes. When I undid the wraps to take a shower, and reapplied them, it took ME slightly over 30 minutes to get them off, and another 30 to get them back on! And I even have some knowledge of wrapping, thanks to my athletic training classes for coaching.

That's a long description, but the wrapping is the core part of this treatment. That's why OT initially told me that I couldn't unwrap them the whole time (three months!) she would be treating me. Then she allowed it, saying since she saw I could bend over to reach my feet and do it myself. In fact, when I went back on Monday, having unwrapped them twice in that time to shower, she said she couldn't tell it was MY wrapping instead of HERS, except for the different tape. I took that as a compliment.

Anyhoo... Monday I found out that I would have two sets of wraps. We use them a week, then OT gives the used wraps to me to take home and wash, and applies the second set. Which I will get at the end of THIS week, and she'll use the ones I have brought back clean.

"Here are your old wraps, and the washing instructions." She went over them with me.

No problem. Except I realized my Tide laundry detergent was Tide With Bleach. So I went by Country Mart and got some regular Tide to be sure. I used have a net bag for washing delicates, but apparently I've had no delicates in quite a while, because I couldn't find it. HOWEVER, I have a pillow cover that works the same way. It has a zipper at the end. So I put all six of my wraps inside, zipped it shut, and threw in some socks and a couple towels and pair of sweatpants. No need to do a separate load just for the wraps. I made sure to change the washer setting to COLD COLD.

When the washer was done, I lifted the lid to see a horror show! The wraps had slithered out of the pillow cover! Somehow they had unzipped it! I had a nice clean inside-out pillow cover, and a TANGLED BALL OF SNAKES. Good thing those six wraps did not have Velcro at each of their ends! I was able to untangle them in about 10 minutes.

My original plan was to stretch those wraps along behind the long couch, and forbid Farmer H from using the front door and walking there. That did not seem easy. I swear each of those wraps seems 20 feet long. At least longer than I am tall. Instead, I draped them over the banister that keeps people from falling into the opening where the 13 rail-less basement steps reside. I put a beach towel over the banister to protect the wood. Then I halved each wrap, and halved it again, to drape like so much decorative bunting along that rail. I didn't think it would stretch them out as much as halving them over a shower curtain, as OT said some of the patients do.

OT said that the stretching is not such an issue as heat. That she thought one of her clients was kidding when she said, "I didn't use hot water. I stretched them out to dry. Then I ironed them." OT says the lady is kind of sarcastic and funny, and OT originally laughed at the story, but the client wasn't smiling. OT realized she was serious. She had IRONED those wraps! 

"And her wife verified it! Said, 'Oh, yeah. She irons EVERYTHING!' So I told her not to do that again."

Heh, heh! I said I didn't even know if I HAD an iron, and OT said she's pretty sure she does, but not sure where it is right now. That times are different, and her mother is always telling her, "I'm not going out with you looking like that! Take off your shirt and I'll iron it for you!"

Seriously. Times ARE different. My mom used to iron my dad's tighty whities. I don't think OT looks unkempt at all...

Johnny Appleseed Missed The Boat

After four visits, I now have an idea how my occupational therapy sessions will go. I show up and notify the front desk I'm there. I sit down and wait, doing my best to avoid random children zooming around, or unsteady walkers, or reckless scooters. On time, I get called by OT, and proceed to the inner sanctum, and her treatment room.

I take off my shoes and socks, pull up the legs of my sweatpants, and sit on the end of the hydraulic table/bed. Some days, it's just for a re-wrap. Other days, she puts a sheet on the table/bed, and I lie down for a massage of sorts. Not the happy-ending kind! Some armpit/abdominal/groin/leg pushing. I liken it to the kneading of a cat. A cat with human-size lady-hands.

On Tuesday, there was a new tool: a ziploc bag containing rows of cherry seeds sewn into material. Kind of like a knobby potholder in a baggie. OT said a rep had given it to her, and she puts it in a new bag to use on each patient. She uses it between the leg and her hands, to massage and break down tissue that has hardened, to improve circulation.

"Who in the world though of such a use for CHERRY SEEDS! You'd think another fruit would be more efficient. Maybe one with a LOT of seeds. Not just one seed per cherry. Or maybe the factories that pit the cherries pushed this, as a way to get rid of the cherry seeds! I don't get it? Are they pointy on the ends? Or why wouldn't plastic balls be just as useful?"

"I don't know. This is something new since I did my training. The seeds are all a little bit different size, but they're smooth. Maybe they roll different, because they're not perfectly round. It's not like they're loose and releasing any chemicals into the skin."

Such a mystery. OT had warmed the packet in a microwave. It was actually a pleasant (not happy!) feeling as my leg was massaged with it. My hour ended right on time. I was wrapped, back in my socks and shoes, and leaving Bill-Paying Town by three minutes after the hour. I really don't mind it at all, except the waiting room with PEOPLE in it!

I guess there's a cherry-grower's association thumbing their collective noses at Johnny Appleseed.

Mrs. HM Is Smelling Again

Yes, Mrs. HM's sense of taste and smell have returned! What food did I choose to celebrate? A TACO SALAD! I had been thinking about pulled pork nachos, but on Errand Day, The Pony was browsing around the biscuit section of Country Mart, and came to me with a flat box package.

"Look at this, Mom! It says you can make your own taco salad bowls!"

Well. That DID look promising. I think the brand was Aztec. The box had four tortillas and some cardboard foldy thingies to drape them over. Bake for 6-10 minutes, cool, and you have your own taco salad shell! I'm sure you could do the same thing with a regular flour tortilla draped over an oven-proof bowl. But I was willing to give this a try. It turned out great!

The shell crisped up quite nicely. Disregard the box of bandaids, and the ibuprofen. I'm not a great cook, but I don't regularly slice off appendages. I'm slow to put things in the cabinets, and I was almost out of ibuprofen, and when Pepper gets feisty, it's handy to have the bandaids ready and waiting by the sink.

I looked in 10Box and Country Mart for shredded lettuce. None to be found! I guess other taste-regainers had the same idea. So I had to chop up my romaine.

Next came the chicken. Diced from a boneless skinless chicken breast I had baked a couple days earlier for Farmer H's suppers.

The cheese was extra-sharp cheddar. I buy a 16 oz block and cut it into 16 cubes. So I have a handy 1-oz portion ready when I need it. This was done on my handheld grater. No fingertips included, heh, heh!

Gotta have my crunchy sweet Vidalia onion.

There's Save A Lot medium salsa, with some Frank's Original RedHot Sauce sprinkled on top.

Three tablespoons of sour cream dabbed all around.

Crowned with black olives. Yes, I had to slice them myself. I mistakenly thought I had more of those pre-sliced small cans. But no. I guess I used them on super nachos.

This chicken taco salad was everything I dreamed of! There are still three more "shells" in FRIG II. I'll get around to them, and the pulled pork, after I'm done with our Tuesday Mother's Day Chinese.

So Many Roadblocks, So Much Time

It seems as if every appointment with Occupational Therapy is to be fraught with obstacles. First one, there was the wild kid running around who crashed into my knee. The second one had the broken brake on the hydraulic table/bed. The third one was cancelled! That's right! No sooner had I gotten my untimely treatment started after two months of delays, than my third appointment was cancelled!

I was driving T-Hoe on Errand Day, trying to turn into the bank while avoiding a guy on a mower whizzing across the entrance. My cell phone rang. I tried to answer with one hand while steering with the other. The Pony had said the number calling had last been used last week.

"Oh! That's the hospital number. My leg appointments. Give it to me! Hello?"

"Mom. It didn't slide. You haven't answered. Here. Let me get it."

The Pony accepted the call, and I pulled up into the employee parking area to take it.

"Is this HM? I'm calling for HM about her appointment tomorrow at 8:30."

"This is her."

"Your therapist is sick, and won't be in tomorrow. So your appointment is cancelled."

"Oh. That's okay with me. Thank you so much for calling to let me know."

"We have you on Monday at 1:00."

"Yes. I'll be there. Thank you."

I'm not disappointed to miss that session. I don't really like to get out of the Mansion that early. I just hope they don't tack that on at the end of the 12 weeks now!

Seems Like There Should Be An Easier Way

Automation is out of control! To make one person's life easier, it takes inconveniencing a myriad of others. It's not like this is anything new. It just came up on my gripe list this week.

You may recall that I will be hauling myself down to Occupational Therapy in Bill-Paying Town three times a week, for 12 weeks (!) for treatment on my legs. Which still probably won't qualify me for a knee replacement, but maybe that's not meant to be.

Anyhoo... for each appointment, I get an email and a text saying that I need to do the pre-check-in on YourChart. Oh, and I also have a regular (follow-up) appointment with my NP this week. So I got 10 such reminders on Thursday! They were for Friday/Monday/Tuesday/Friday leg appointments, and the Wednesday NP appointment. At least I only had to log onto YourChart and confirm FIVE times, not all 10.

Surely this could be more streamlined. The only screens that I had to interact with were for each visit, to automatically sign my consent for treatment and billing. That's it! Just a fake signature. They have all the rest of my info. Wouldn't you think I could consent to the entire 12 weeks of treatment ONE TIME? So I would only need to fake sign once, rather than 36 times???

As for the appointment my NP had scheduled when I was there in March about my legs, the follow-up two months into the future in May, which he said he still needed, rather than combine it with my regular 6-month appointment in June... that dang YourChart had the AUDACITY to ask me what my appointment was for!

YOU tell ME! I didn't make the appointment! My NP made the appointment. Surely it should have some type of code as a follow-up for some other type of code.

But no. I was supposed to say what my "complaint" (heh, heh, I could have a field day with that!) was, and the reason for it, etc.

I will probably get a little persnickety when I see my NP. You know, what with having seen the OT only ONE WEEK before this "follow-up" appointment to see how the treatment is going. My blood pressure reading may not be in the normal range.

Mystery (Somewhat) Solved

It's been a week since my Fave went missing. She usually works the afternoon shift four days, over the weekend at the Gas Station Chicken Store. I was highly optimistic on Thursday. Surely Fave would be back, just like normal. Wouldn't she? 

NOPE!

The car in the parking lot was that of the Other Gal. She works the other afternoon shifts, and also mornings on the weekends. She's okay. I have no issues with her. The tickets she sells me do not seem as lucky. Over this past week, my winnings have suffered! However... I got up the gumption on Thursday, around 4:30, with no other customers in the store. As Other Gal was handing back my $2 change, I took the plunge...

"I was surprised to see you here today. I was expecting Fave."

"Oh. Well..."

"What's going on with that?"

"Fave got shot."

"WHAT? SHOT??? That's terrible! I was thinking maybe she got another dog bite. Losing the end of her thumb was bad enough. But SHOT!!! That's even worse! How did THAT happen?"

"Well. She was with her dog. Apparently somebody said he was going to shoot the dog, and Fave said no he wasn't."

"Where did she get hit?"

"The abdomen, I think? I haven't talked to her. And maybe on her calf. I think the bullet just grazed her."

"The abdomen is not good! I hope she's okay. But thanks for the info."

What in the actual NOT-HEAVEN??? There comes a time when maybe you have to evaluate your situation, and maybe, just maybe, realize that this dog is not the best thing to have in your life. I'm sure Fave loves her dog. But she's lost work from breaking up a fight, then lost the end of her thumb for breaking up another fight, and now she's been SHOT!

Maybe when she returns, I can get more of the story, straight from the dog-momma's mouth.

Mrs. HM Is Back To Her Tasteful Self (Kind Of)

Blow the long horns, and start the pageantry for the official announcement: Mrs. HM Seems To Be Slowly Regaining Her Taste!

I don't want to jump the gun, put the cart before the horse, or count my chickens before they hatch. But I have HOPE! Which started on Thursday morning. I almost detected a smidgen of flavor at the first bite of banana. WHAT? Was it possible? Sadly, the rest of the banana was just as tasteless as it had been for the past 12 days. It was the 14th day since I fell ill. Time to be healed!

The oatmeal just had the newly-regular taste that I can only describe as "discernable sweetness." No actual flavor, but it was sweet, not savory. I opened up my little jar of Vicks VapoRub and took a whiff. Nope. Nothing. It might as well be an unscented candle.

On my Errand Day with The Pony, I shared my hope. I had a generic Halls MenthoLyptus Honey Lemon cough drop. There were a couple of instances where I thought I noticed lemon! Not while consciously trying to taste it. But randomly, which got my attention back on my taste buds.

I had another cough drop just before my snack of 1 oz of sharp cheddar and 12 dill pickle chips. Not really needed to open up my nasal passages, because I could breathe in and out normally through my nose. I had hoped the MenthoLyptus would waft up into the recesses of my sinuses and shrink the tissues a bit more, to let those flavor molecules proceed to the tiny patch that recognizes them. Nope.

At suppertime, I tried the Vicks jar again. I think I could tell it was Vicks! Barely. I had a can of sardines with mustard sauce. The mustard was tangy, as usual. Perhaps a bit more so this time. Still no sardine flavor. No taste in the Ritz crackers. But the Progresso Chunky Chicken Noodle Soup? I got a small taste of the broth!!! Just a hint, and just a couple times. It was like if La Croix made soup, that would have been the flavor!

Now it's Friday at noon. I can definitely tell I am sniffing a jar of Vicks VapoRub. The banana SEEMED to taste like a banana. But so many of them lately have not much flavor anyway. And I got a couple Brown Sugar Maple vibes from my oatmeal. 

I'm ON THE MEND! Tonight, I'm planning to have a TACO SALAD, made with the boneless skinless chicken breasts I had cooked yesterday for Farmer H's suppers. His with Lemon Pepper, but mine just plain. I think the medium salsa, and Frank's Original RedHot Sauce, might give my nostrils a kick.

Things are looking up for Mrs. HM's nose!