Can I Have NOTHING Of My Own???

I'm pretty sure we have visited this topic before. How I can't seem to have a single thing to myself in this Mansion. Whether it be food or scissors or Pioneer Woman Ceramic Paring Knives, or just empty space on a shelf in FRIG II. Nothing is safe from the invasion of Farmer H.

I think it was the day after Farmer H brought home a giant piece of coconut pineapple cake bestowed upon him by one of his adoring Harem at the senior apartments. A piece of cake so large that he divided it into four servings. 

Anyhoo... on the second day, when putting his cake plate back on the bottom shelf of FRIG II, Farmer H turned around and said excitedly,

"Do we have a new kind of little cakes?"

"NO. If you're talking about that box at the back of the bottom shelf, it's been there since before Christmas. It's my Little Debbie Mint Marshmallow Pies. [The Little Debbie version of Moon Pies. Marshmallow between two soft cookie-ish pieces, all coated in chocolate. These having mint flavor, as a Christmas novelty.] They are very stale, but I have one every now and then. They are MINE. You have plenty of other snacks. I buy them for you every time I go to the store. But now you want MINE! Six months old, stale, but that's what you want, because they're MINE!"

"No. No. If they're yours, that's fine. I just hadn't seen them before."

Yeah. There's a reason for that...

Let the record show that Farmer H currently had: 

Payday Mix (candy corn and dry-roasted peanuts)

Fudge Stripe Shortbread Cookies

Red Velvet Cake Chips Ahoy Cookies

Animal Cookies (regular)

Animal Cookies (the chocolate version)

Little Debbie Zebra Cakes

Little Debbie Star Crunch

Little Debbie Strawberry Rolls

Chocolate/Peanut Butter Fudge (from the Devil's Playground deli)

That Giant Piece of Coconut/Pineapple Cake

A virtual smorgasbord of desserts! Enough to kill any normal diabetic! But no. What was he interested in stealing sneaking treating himself to? MY MINI MINT MOON PIES!

I really need to wrap my meager treats in foil before stashing them at the back of FRIG II. My old teaching buddy Kelly kept a chocolate Easter bunny from her hubby for four months that way!

Crow-Eating, Egg-Faced Karen...Or Good Samaritan?

Thursday evening around 5:00, I heard Farmer H's phone ring. He carries it in a holster on his belt. I heard the velcro rrrip as he drew it to answer. I even turned off my music on HIPPIE, to try and see what it was about. His Harem, maybe, from the senior apartments? Or somebody wanting merchandise from his SUS2.5? But hopefully not one of the kids calling with a problem.

Farmer H had proceeded through the living room to the bathroom, to put away some medicine he had picked up at the pharmacy. I couldn't hear much, but the tone seemed to be one of denial, and not agreement. He came back to the kitchen, and began talking before I could even start my inquisition.

"That was our across-the-road neighbor. She said, 'I see your dog down here on the road by the mailboxes.' I told her, 'You don't see MY dog. He's got a shock collar, and hasn't left the property in four days. He's on the back porch right now. ' And she started sputtering, 'Oh. Do you know of anybody else out here with a white dog?' Heh, heh. I bet she feels like a rumpus right now."

"I told you, I'm not so sure Pepper was the one making her dogs bark at night. Especially since you saw that other dog in our yard around the same time, making OUR dogs bark at night. I mean, sure, I know Pepper goes over there. But without a picture, I'm not convinced it was him that night before their complaint."

"Well. I KNOW it's not Pepper down by the mailboxes. I'm going out to see. I ain't got no notice that he's out of the fence."

Farmer H stepped out the kitchen door and called to Pepper. Who came running, thinking there was another treat.

"See? She cain't blame Pepper this time."

"She DOES seem to be overly interested in OUR dogs. Trying to catch them at something, and point the finger at us on Facebook. Do you think she's being petty about it, or just trying to let us know? She told you she saw Scarlett and Jack all the way out by the highway that one time. It's hard to believe, but with Scarlett it was very possible. Maybe she just wants us to know, in case we might want to go "rescue" our dog. But if she really was such a dog lover, and sure it's ours, you'd think she would put him in her car at the mailbox, and drive him back up here."

"Nah. She's doin' it just to be a busybody, and make us look like we don't take care of our dogs."

"Too bad she couldn't put THIS one on Facebook, and ask if it belongs to anybody out here. Like she did with Pepper that first time she saw him. So you could have replied on there that Pepper is home with a shock collar."

"She didn't sound happy when I told her it wasn't Pepper. She sounded like she'd been caught doing something."

Later that evening, our dogs went crazy barking. Jack on the porch, and Pepper over in front of the BARn. Farmer H went to see if anybody was messing with his stuff. He said both Pepper and Jack were very interested in the $2000 white truck parked in front of the BARn. I said maybe somebody was trying to steal it. Farmer H said it was more likely an animal, because Pepper and Jack kept sniffing the tires.

Huh. Maybe it's some other dog running around. Maybe the one from the mailboxes. It could be that somebody dumped one. Or just one who lives out here, and is allowed to be a dog.

Pepper's Progress

Thank the Gummi Mary, Pepper seems to have suffered no ill effects from being run over by Farmer H and The Pony in SilverRedo on Monday. He's been his usual bouncy, energetic self since Wednesday. As for adjusting to the confines of the GPS collar, Pepper is learning quickly.

Tuesday, Pepper stayed pretty close to the Mansion. There were two attempts to go under the barbed wire fence that separates our property from the next door guy Farmer H went to high school with. Both times, Pepper turned back at the warning. 

This was at the very beginning of our driveway. I'm not surprised. There must be a rabbit trail there. All our dogs (Grizzly the lab/beagle, Tank the purebred beagle, Poor Dumb Ann the black German shepherd, and my Sweet, Sweet Juno the border collie/lab, and little dachshund/heeler Jack) have run under the fence there, and chased rabbits through the brush and across the road. Scarlett the adopted purebred Australian shepherd was not big on rabbit-chasing.

Anyhoo... when I came home from town on Tuesday afternoon, the team of Pepper/Jack jumped off the back of the carport and took to chasing another trail they have down into the woods behind the house. I think it's the scampering squirrels they're after there. This time, Jack went first. Pepper hesitated, then followed. While I was waiting for the garage door to raise, Pepper came back! Sat in front of me on the carport, looking dejected, ears down.

The Pony called, saying he got a notice on his phone that there was a breach. Yes! I got it on my phone as I went in the house. Pepper had crossed the boundary, and got a shock.

Wednesday, midmorning, there was another breach notice, following a notice that Pepper had turned back. This was way down by the creek, on the opposite end of our other 10 acres. The Pony also texted me about that one. I know why it happened. Farmer H's squirrel-hunting buddy was out here. I'm sure Pepper followed him down into the woods, and was going after a squirrel.

Thursday, there was one turn-back at the end of our driveway, where Pepper would cross over to go to the neighbors who complained about night visits making their penned dogs bark.

Farmer H goes to the part of the Halo 5 Collar app that tells how the dog is responding to training. For example, after the first day, including the multiple shocks just before Pepper got run over (!), it showed compliance (or whatever the term is) of 5%. On Thursday evening, it was 33%. I'm sure that will get better each time an incident happens where Pepper turns back at the warning.

Anyhoo... here are the kind of notifications we get, along with a time stamp.

FENCE BREACH AVOIDED

Pepper entered the warning zone and returned to the safe zone.

(On the map, the area is marked with a ! for turning back at the warning sound, and !! for turning back after the mild shock.)

FENCE BREACH DETECTED

Pepper left the fence.

(On the map, the area is marked with !!! for getting the full shock.)

RETURNED TO SAFETY

Pepper re-entered the fence.

(No marking on the map, since it is where the breach occurred.)

We can open the app on our phones any time, and see the map. It will show the latest five fence breaches/avoidances, and the current location of Pepper.

Every evening, Farmer H takes off Pepper's collar to charge it for 1 hour. It supposedly will last for 48 hours, but we're not sure how accurate that is. Thus the daily routine, rather than doing it every 36 hours and alternating morning and evening.

After a bumpy start, this Halo 5 Collar seems to be serving our purposes.

OH NO! This Has Gone Horribly Wrong!!! (Part 2)

The dog trainers, Farmer H and The Pony, had left for town ten minutes earlier, when I heard the kitchen door open. I went to the kitchen, and found an upset Pony.

"We were watching to see if Pepper chased the truck when we left. He was running along on our grass, but still in the boundary. I could tell he wasn't going to stop at the end, so on my phone I started manually giving him the warning sound. Pepper didn't react. He got shocked when he crossed the boundary, and WENT UNDER THE TRUCK! We ran over him! Dad stopped and put him in the back of the truck, and I got in and rode back to the house with him. We can't SEE anything wrong, except he's limping a little bit on his front left leg."

Farmer H came in next.

"Did you run over Pepper? Or did he just go under the truck, and the wheels missed him?"

"No. We definitely felt a big bump."

"But it was the back tires, Mom. So not all the weight from the motor."

"It's a freakin' TRUCK! He might have internal injuries, or a concussion!"

"I'll take him to the vet tomorrow if he's hurt. He looks okay. I pressed all around on his ribs and back, and he didn't yelp or nothin'."

"He probably has a concussion, and can't think! He's in shock, and doesn't know he's hurt."

"He yelped when the shock hit him, Mom. It kept shocking him when he didn't turn back. It was terrible. I shut it off manually on my phone. I think he went under the truck trying to get to Dad, because he thinks Dad will make the shocks stop."

My theory is that Pepper was running full speed beside the truck, and the shocks made him lose control, like when a person gets tased, and his momentum made him tumble under the truck.

While Farmer H drove The Pony to town, I called for Pepper, who was under the carport in a hole he likes to lie in. He came to the kitchen, and CAME IN, which he hasn't done since he was a pup. Walked in and stood by the table, his back to me at the door. I sweet-talked him and he finally turned around. He looked droopy and sad, with a slight limp on the left front leg.

I finally coaxed Pepper back out on the porch with a piece of stale bun dipped in bacon grease. He sniffed it, but wouldn't eat. He slunk into Juno's old house right by the door, and wouldn't come out all night.

Tuesday morning at 5:45, Pepper came to the laundry room door where Farmer H feeds him. He walked into the laundry room, and sat in front of the washer, wagging his tail. Then went back out when commanded, and ate some food.

When I left for town that afternoon, Pepper was his usual peppy self. Romping and waiting for his treat, ears up, curious. I think he's probably stressed from the ordeal, and seeking safety in the house, remembering puppyhood when he got to come in every morning for petting.

Right now, Pepper is staying close to the Mansion. 

OH NO! This Has Gone HORRIBLY Wrong!!! (Part 1)

On my way to pick up The Pony on Monday, for Pepper's collar training, I was quite dismayed to see Pepper running along behind T-Hoe. He usually goes halfway up the driveway with me, running in the grass where I can see him. That has only been going on for about two weeks. I honk the horn, or put down the window and say "PEPPER! NO!" Then Pepper stops.

This time, Pepper continued. No amount of stopping or NO-ing had an affect. In fact, Pepper gave me a look like, "What are you going to do about it?" Something I didn't want to see, but normal for an animal to try and figure out limits. I told The Pony this tale, and said, "I know this is wrong, but a part of me will not be upset for Pepper to get a little shock. He was being so INSOLENT! He needs to learn the consequences."

Indeed, the Halo 5 Collar could not have arrived at a better time. Farmer H said that a few days ago, he was over in the BARn field, and he saw Pepper chase a UPS truck along the gravel road. Farmer H hollered at him, and when he came back, Farmer H held him by the collar, and "whipped his butt." Just with a hand, of course, a couple swats on the hip.

"He didn't like that at all! He tried to run away, and pulled too hard against the collar, and started coughing and choking.

"He doesn't know what he did wrong! Because got his whoopin' when he CAME BACK. He probably doesn't associate it with chasing the truck."

 "It's a good thing The Pony's getting the new collar ready, because we can't have him chasing cars."

AND when Farmer H and HOS left here on Sunday evening, after dropping off some stuff at the Freight Container Garage, Pepper chased them down the road, almost to the mailboxes. That's a mile!

"He wouldn't go back when we hollered at him. Usually he won't go no farther than the neighbor at the top of the hill. We finally got out and threw rocks at him, and he started back."

Obviously, this was the right time to get Pepper trained, since his roaming behavior was escalating. The Pony watched the training videos. Showed Farmer H right here in the kitchen. They went out with the collar and a baggie of cut-up hot dogs for treats. They were gone about 45 minutes, walking Pepper around the front yard/field and adjacent 10 acres. Showing the boundaries along the front and sides. Pepper got the warning sound when close. Then a small shock. Then the Level 6 (out of 15) shock when he kept going and wouldn't turn back.

"He twitched when it hit him. Let out a yelp. Then laid down and pawed at the collar with his front paws. He didn't like that much. He definitely felt it."

That shocking episode happened when they let Pepper off the leash, and came back for the lawnmower. Farmer H rode it along the BARn field, to see if Pepper would chase. He wasn't chasing, but ran across the road to the hill neighbor's field. That's when he got zapped, and came back.

None of us expected Pepper to be completely trained by this single session. He would have to learn some on his own, while unsupervised. And Farmer H could work with him some more in the evenings. He and The Pony said they thought Pepper was associating the hot dog treat with getting shocked, because toward the end, he wouldn't eat them.

Around 4:50, Farmer H left in SilverRedO to take The Pony home. They were curious if Pepper would try to chase them. I went on about my business. At 5:00, I was in the bathroom, and heard the kitchen door open. That couldn't be good! They should have been in town by then.

It was worse than I expected...

The Training Shall Commence!

The Pony has the Halo 5 Collar ready for Pepper. Farmer H plans to start training on Monday evening. Sunday night, The Pony sent a text:

"OOF! That collar packs a punch. A 6 on the 1-15 scale makes my hand twitch, and an 8 did it down to my elbow. Right now I'm setting it to a loud beep (so we can tell when it goes off). They have a silent dog whistle setting that might work, too.

It'll go BEEP, to a 3 (minor shock), to a 6 as the "out of bounds" one. I'm not sure I'm comfortable going higher than a 6 on a dog Pepper's size."

Also, The Pony sent Farmer H an aerial picture of the zone. It's a view of our acreage and house and BARn and Freight Container Garage. We couldn't see for sure where the creek runs in the back, because of the trees in the satellite view. The Pony thinks the boundary is set about a half-acre across the creek. We just own a little strip of land across the creek, but it's all woods, nothing on it from the neighbors back there. 

Farmer H swears that he has the leash.

"It's on the pet carrier sitting out on the sidewalk where I park my truck."

"You think?"

"That's where I left it after the vet for the operation."

"Out in the weather? Couldn't you hang it on a nail in the garage?"

"It's fine, HM."

"If it's still there! You know how Pepper likes to chew on things..."

"Well, it's there if he ain't drug it off."

I guess I need to check and see if the leash is there, before I pick up The Pony on Monday. We're stopping by the Devil's Playground for a better charging cord for the collar. Might as well pick up another leash while we're there.

Oh, NO! Another Final Notice!

Is there really any money in this scam? How do the Final Notice senders make a buck? Their envelope might fool some people into thinking it's an official notice.

So they open it in a panic. Or out of curiosity, like I did. Since we have no loans to be finally notified about, I do not feel the urge to call about this urgent matter regarding our property.

The letter itself might lead people to think they are in danger of losing their property, rather than just on the hook for repairs. I even had to ask Farmer H: "What in the Not-Heaven is a Home Warranty?" He said it's like a policy for repairs, in case something goes wrong. I could imagine this for a vehicle. I am not familiar with such a thing for homes. I guess that's because we didn't get a loan to buy a house.

I've cropped the first paragraph, because it listed our specific address.

I suppose this no-name company (oh, wait, there's an actual "business" name in the tiny print of the last sentence) can make money from people calling, then fast-talking them into buying "coverage" for their appliances. 

It doesn't seem like an efficient scam to me.