You Don't Know If You're Being Scammed, Or A Deadbeat!

Thursday's mail contained an envelope that looked like junk mail. It had other junky companions, yet also real mail, like our monthly statements from our financial investments. Of course I open all the mail to make sure I'm not missing anything important.

This one was in a plain window envelope. With a return address in Georgia. No stamp, just a printed "First Class Mail, Presorted, Postage Paid, Mailed From Zip Code 44711, Permit No. 1377." Nothing especially remarkable about the appearance.

Inside was a one-sided paper. Thin paper. Which stated it was from a DEBT COLLECTOR!

Well. That was disturbing. We pay all our bills. WHEN WE GET THEM. Supposedly, this was a debt from an anesthesia group. I've never heard of it, but Googling showed that it has offices in several states, and one in St. Louis. Farmer H has had several surgeries over the years. We've gotten bills from doctors and radiologists and anesthetists. It's not unreasonable to think that this bill might be legitimate.

However, there was no date. No location. No doctor. No type of surgery. Just a Reference Number. And a total debt of $40.91. 

Also, details that between June 1, 2026, and now, we were charged 0 interest and 0 fees. There were payments in the amount of 0. And adjustments in the amount of 0.

Also, this collection agency is giving us until August 27, 2026, to dispute all or part of the debt. If we write them, they must stop collection until they send us information that shows we owe the debt. We can include supporting documents. They also accept disputes electronically at a website.

At the bottom is a form that can be cut off (no perforation) to send back. 

Check all that apply:

*************************************************************

I want to dispute because...

This is not my debt. 

The amount is wrong.

Other (please describe on reverse or attach additional information)

I want you to send me the name and address of the original creditor.

I enclose this amount $ _____________.

Make checks payable to: [name of collection agency]

**************************************************************

It would be so easy to write a check for $40.91 and be done with it. HOWEVER... I don't know if we owe this amount or not. We never got any bills from any anesthesia group that we didn't pay. It would be odd that such a debt got turned over to collections without multiple attempts to notify us of the bill.

Also, we've had a couple notices this year that our medical information was breached. Maybe this is just a scammer trying to get money or personal information. A check would give them our bank account number. 

I looked up the collection agency. They are not registered with the Better Business Bureau. Which AI says can be a red flag for scams. 

Farmer H wants ME to call and try to find out more info. I say they probably won't talk to me, since his name is on the account. Then again, he would be more likely to give personal information than I would. So I guess I can give it a try. JUST to get the date, location, surgery, and doctor. Then we will know if it's actually something we might owe.

There We Went Again

Wednesday evening, the news was finishing up right before I had Farmer H's supper ready. I walked past his recliner, seeing a story about the Kansas City Chiefs football team's stadium going back to its original name of Arrowhead Stadium.

"Oh. I thought they were moving to Kansas."

"They ARE. They're building a new stadium there."

"Well, there goes a bunch of revenue, lost for Missouri!"

"No. It's 3 billion dollars, and Kansas is paying."

"What's that got to do with anything?"

"You said, 'There go a bunch of revenue bonds.'"

"No. I said IT'S REVENUE LOST FROM MISSOURI! From all the ticket and concession and souvenir money that people would spend, and the hotels and restaurants."

"Oh. I thought you were talking about the bonds to pay for the stadium."

"You are a lot of work!"

I think Farmer H needs a 3 billion dollar set of hearing aids.

Listening To Me But Not Hearing Me. Again.

Tuesday, I made a meatloaf and green beans with bacon and potatoes for Farmer H's supper. It's more convenient for me to make them late morning/early afternoon. Before I go to town. Then I can warm them up when Farmer H decides to come home. I don't get (quite) as annoyed like when I plan on having it ready at a certain time, and he's not here. Plus, Tthe house smells really good for the afternoon. 

I was in the bathroom changing from town clothes to Mansion clothes around 4:00 when Farmer H showed up. He was in his recliner when I came out.

"Did you smell the meatloaf?"

"I was too busy to vote today."

"Um. Okay. But that has nothing to do with what I just asked you."

"I thought you asked me did I vote?" 

[There were just a couple of amendments on the ballot]

"No... I asked if you smelled the meatloaf."

"Heh, heh! I DID smell the meatloaf when I come in. It smells good."

Farmer H really enjoyed the meatloaf. Much more than he would have enjoyed voting.

A Cold And Dark As Mrs. HM's Heart

Friday evening, I got food out of FRIG II's freezer to prepare Farmer H's supper. He was having fish and waffle fries. He was offered mixed vegetables with cheese melted on top, but turned them down. "Nah. I had vegetables for lunch." Because, you know, having vegetables twice in one day would be senseless, and only a feat attempted by somebody who DON'T KNOW NOTHIN'!

Anyhoo... that meal used up the rest of the waffler fries, but I had fish left in the bag to put back in the freezer. I opened the door, and IT WAS DARK! The light bulb had burnt out between me getting out the fish and putting it back. I told Farmer H.

"Huh. I don't have no idea where that light is. Or what size. I guess I'll have to take a look at it." Which of course he jumped up and did, right? WRONG! He kept sitting in his recliner. Then ate supper. Then came to the kitchen for dessert. Then went to bed.

The next day, I brought Pony out for a Saturday of game-playing. I mentioned the dark freezer, because I figured The Pony would be getting ice. Farmer H came home around 5:15. Went straight to the recliner.

"Dad? Do you want me to see what kind of light the freezer needs?"

"You can."

The Pony looked all around. The bulb was not visible. I'd already been looking a couple of times. The Pony pulled out the big bin that holds the ice cubes. The light was behind there. The Pony unscrewed it, and took it to Farmer H in the recliner.

"Huh. I'll have to see if I can find one."

As I type, this is Tuesday afternoon. FRIG II's freezer is still as cold and dark as my heart. Farmer H DID move that burnt-out bulb from the table beside the recliner to a cap lying in a box on the chair by the kitchen door. 

It's still there. I figure today is not the day I'll be getting light in FRIG II's freezer.

Something Has Been Eating At Me

It's my own teeth! I noticed when it happened, but I had no idea of the aftermath.

Farmer H came in Friday evening, and asked if I hurt my face. Since he was born without a funnybone, I was pretty sure he wasn't pulling that old joke where he'd then add: "Because it's KILLIN' ME!" So I said that no, I didn't think so.

"Well, your lip is all bruised."

"Oh. You mean right here? IS it? Because last night, I bit my lip inside right there. So I guess it's just showing the bruise on the outside now."

Indeed, when I looked in the mirror, it was a frightening sight. More frightening than usual!

I zoomed in close so you didn't have to bear the full horror of my scarecrow hair and wrinkly face. This is actually my left lip corner, but the phone camera reverses it when I take my own picture. It's like I'm looking into the mirror.

The Pony noticed on Saturday. We went in Country Mart that day. I went to get scratchers on Sunday. Nobody said anything to me. I'm sure they were curious. But maybe they thought I had been in a fight, heh, heh, and didn't want to take a chance on me opening up a big can of whoop-rumpus on them!

Anyhoo... it's not like I was even eating something good when this happened. Just an apple. A nice crisp red Sugar Bee apple. Oh, and since then, with the swollen area, I have chomped down about a dozen more times. No wonder it's taking a bit of time to heal.

I'm not letting it curtail my activities. Those scratchers aren't going to buy themselves.

The Gong Shower

The Pony was coming out Saturday. I got ready early to drive to town and pick up bananas, The Pony, and Chinese food. It was about 8:20 when I turned off the shower faucet.

GONG!

What in the Not-Heaven? What WAS that? Not a noise that I've heard around the Mansion. Not recently, anyway. Yet it sounded somewhat familiar. I ran through a list of possible sources. 

Was that the front doorbell? It hasn't worked for over 10 years. Farmer H never remembers to put a battery in it. We don't get random visitors. It's a private road. The salesmen don't sneak up in here anymore, and the delivery people just leave stuff on the porch. Besides, the doorbell has two tones. DING and DONG. This wasn't quite a DONG. After I got dressed (thankfully, to anybody who might have been driving by), I looked out the front door. There was no note or package.

Was it something from my phone? My phone has never GONGed. It has a tone for incoming texts and emails. More like a PING, with an accompanying BUZZ for texts. That definitely wasn't it. Still, I checked my phone, which was lying beside the sink, and there was nothing on it.

Was it some sound from the pipes? I've never heard that before. Sometimes a GURGLE after Farmer H has had the water turned off for something.

Was it from something falling on a hard surface? Only the bathroom and laundry room have ceramic tile. The rest of the Mansion has carpet, or linoleum in kitchen and second bathroom. Nothing was out of place.

Was it the dogs doing something on the porch? Did Pepper whack his head on one of the giant metal wagon wheels that I detest? Such a noise would surely have rendered him unconscious, and there were no dogs on the porch when I looked out.

The Pony came out, and we discussed scenarios. The Pony also went to push the front doorbell, and only silence resulted.

"Could it have been this bell hanging by the kitchen door? Here, I'll clang it." CLANG! "Was that it?"

"No. The pitch was lower. And there wasn't the vibrating sound. Just a single GONG!"

We may never find out. It's almost as if whatever used to play tricks around here knew that The Pony was going to return...

So Capricious, The Universe

I had a plan on Friday morning. I know it takes me three hours to go through my leg pump and shower routine. I had checked the program guide to see what would be on TV while I was captive in my recliner for an hour. There was a good crime show on at 10:00, about a kidnapped 12-year-old boy.

My timing was impeccable. I had put in a load of laundry before the shower, and switched it to the dryer after. I was into my leg pumps, all plugged in, at 9:56. I reclined my OPC (Old People Chair). Turned on the pumps. I was watching the beginning of my show, when they introduce the victim and the suspects. At 10:01, my show stopped. There was a notice on the screen that said COMPLETE SIGNAL LOSS, due to weather.

The Universe, it seems, also had impeccable timing. All that effort for nothing! I picked up my phone to check Show Me Cash numbers for The Pony's draw ticket. The MOLottery app started to load, but went nowhere. Just the screen showing that it was MOLottery. I couldn't close it out to do anything else. I figured my internet was down as well. But I couldn't close this screen. Couldn't shrink it. No way to get to anything else, such as to call The Pony or send texts. A restart would also lock up with a firmware reporting thingy that takes forever on a good day.

Well. I was reclined and pumping, with nothing to entertain me. I figured I might as well have a nap. But I couldn't fall asleep. Time ticked slowly. At 10:16, the TV showed that DISH was acquiring signal. It finally finished. Then it was loading the program guide. THEN my show came back. I was able to see the last half hour. Still, you're not as invested as if you'd been given a peek into the lives of the people at the beginning.

Seeing how The Universe was being cantankerous, I was prepared in the evening. I had checked the futurecast radar, and knew that a storm was likely to hit us between 8:30 and 9:30. That's usually when I'm having my supper, and watching YouTube channels. So I got my own supper ready right after Farmer H's. I was sitting down to eat by 7:15. Finished by 8:15.

At 8:30, Farmer H went to look outside. While he was on the porch, the TV went off. As did my internet. No problem! I just played some solitaire. Farmer H went to take a shower and go to bed. I heard the TV come back on at 8:55. I started getting ads during solitaire, so I knew my internet was back.

But wait! The Universe could not be outsmarted. An alert blared from my phone. Our area was under a tornado warning. I went to the living room to search for a TV meteorologist. Found one! She had the radar, showing the leading edge of the storm with rotation. And said it would be in Sis-Town in 16 minutes, and Hillmomba in 8 minutes. I called The Pony, who does not have network TV. The Pony said the town tornado sirens were going off.

Luckily The Pony found an app with a local weatherman and radar. And kept me informed, because MY TV WENT OFF, due to weather.

We both survived the storms. So I would say that we both won over The Universe.