Bowling With Pepsi

Here's a tiny glimpse into Farmer H's psyche.

This morning at 5:30 a.m., when a tender hot-house flower such as Mrs. Hillbilly Mom on her summer vacation should have been snoozing for at least another two, maybe three, hours...Farmer H blurted, "Well, I guess I'll be bowling with Pepsi tonight."

Please put yourself in my comfortable trough in the non-foam memory topper. I struggled to consciousness. Pepsi? We don't drink Pepsi. Why would Farmer H be having Pepsi at bowling? Did that mean he didn't think I'd given him enough allowance to drink a beer? He starts a new league tonight. Is it teetotalers? "What do you mean, bowling with Pepsi?"

"You know. Like old Homer." Yeah. That certainly cleared up the mystery. NOT.

"Homer?"

"When Homer had that little foreign boy and called him Pepsi." Oh. It started coming back. Eighteen years ago when we watched The Simpsons, when they were still on that fledgling new network, FOX, that only came in on UHF, and had two shows, Married With Children and The Simpsons, we saw an episode where Homer took in a Little Brother to spite Bart for going to the Big Brother program for a better dad. They were lounging on chaises on the patio after dark, and the little kid, Pepe said, "I love you, Papa Homer." And Homer said, "I love you too, Pepsi."

So Farmer H was referring to the fact that The Pony refused to bowl with him every Friday night all summer, and there was a kid wanting to bowl who had no adult, and the bowling alley lady hooked up Farmer H with a new partner.

Pepsi.

Farmer H is the reason I am so good at solving mysteries.