Do You Think It's Teacheraire's Disease?

Did you know that i have been beset by a mysterious affliction?

It's true. I suppose the onset has been so insidious that my illness crept up on me without notice. I believe I must be a rare case. Perhaps one of you might volunteer to search the Annals of External Medicine to find documentation of a similar malady.

Surprisingly, I suffer from no symptoms! But apparently, I have lost my ability to detect changes in the ambient temperature. And I can no longer sense sound waves with my eardrums.

I was diagnosed by roving bands of adolescents.

"It's hot in here!"

"It's cold in here!"

"Your projector is making a noise!"

See? It's a good thing they're so helpful, those adolescents. Or I might not know what goes on in my classroom.

Now that I am aware of the temperature issue, I can leave my class unattended while I climb up on the roof to work on my heating/AC unit. That's the only way to remedy the situation, you know. Because even the students are aware that all classroom thermostats are locked, and cannot be adjusted by mere teachers. I need to start working out. Climbing up on the roof every hour will be quite draining, I fear.

As for the projector noise, I shall require a ladder to reach that ceiling-mounted hooligan. He must be taught a lesson. That growling is not permitted, no matter how turned on he may be. I shall dismember him, and dispose of his croaker, that inconsiderate electronic picture-shiner! That's what they want, I suppose. Why else would they clamor about a noise every day?

Perhaps I should step across the hall to the behind-the-scenes cafeteria entrance, to inquire as to whether too many cooks really spoil the broth, and to ask:

"Do too many unlicensed adolescent physicians spoil the fake diagnosis?"