Saturday, December 30, 2017

One Of These Days, I'll Catch On

I feel like Charlie Brown kicking a football. Okay, make that Charlie Brown hoping to, and thinking he's going to, kick a football. A football held by Lucy van Pelt. In this case, I would be me...and The Devil's Playground would be Lucy van Pelt.

Saturday, I went to The Devil's Playground to pick up a last-minute gift for The Pony. He'd mentioned it when we were leaving the store the other day, and I didn't want to go buy it in front of him. While there, I grabbed a bag of onions. You can never have too many onions. Especially when you slice them open and see that FOUR out of FIVE onions in that bag are ROTTEN!

Sweet Gummi Mary! How does The Devil's Playground get away with this? I know, I know. I'm part of the problem, not even nodding acquaintances with the solution. Because every time this happens to me, I don't take them back. I don't want to stand in line with some rotten onions. I've already thrown away my receipt. And I need those onions right flipping NOW while I'm cooking, and don't have time to drive back to town and deal with it. Besides, they would probably accuse me of switching out old onions for the ones I just bought. A scam of epic proportions, Mrs. Hillbilly Mom trying to get rich off of buying new onions and returning her old ones for cash, using up T-Hoe's gas all willy-nilly in order to scam The Devil.

LOOK AT THIS:


Uh huh! How do ya like THEM onions? Even the ones not showing the black spot of rot have the outer sections that have gone clear and mushy, getting ready to turn brown. I got ONE usable onion out of that bag! And to think, I used to complain when I got one ROTTEN onion in a bag.

You don't know what you've got 'til it's gone, I guess.

6 comments:

Sioux Roslawski said...

The Osmond Brothers sang a song you could have used. To paraphrase it, "One bad onion don't spoil the whole bunch, girl."

River said...

This is what happens when you buy pre-bagged onions. The freshest ones are the loose onions and the ones that don't sell get bagged and sold at a bargain price which really isn't a bargain because the onions are old...you see where I'm going with this?
Buy loose onions.

Hillbilly Mom said...

Sioux,
I suppose, if there was a Truth in Song Lyrics Law, they would have said, "One bad onion spoils four-fifths of the bunch, girl."

***
River,
I can get the loose onions at Save A Lot, but that bin was empty at The Devil's Playground. I probably shouldn't wait until the last minute before a holiday, but then again, I doubt the onions were any fresher a few days earlier.

Anonymous said...

Oh, for the good old days, when there was only one rotten onion in a bag!!

Kathy's Klothesline said...

Well, you could grow your own ...... Yes, I do, along with garlic and rosemary and thyme. Parsley and sage, as well. Not going to a fair, though.

Hillbilly Mom said...

fishducky,
Ahh, yes...those were the salad days, as it were.

***
Kathy,
Just as well. In this weather, you might lose your footing on the bridge over troubled water.

We had a garden one year. Then the deer ate all of our baby watermelons, and I still have flashbacks about reaching out to pick a delicious tomato, and grabbing a tomato hornworm that had eaten away the other side.