Tuesday, April 30, 2019

Mrs. HM Has A Crumby Hubby

I should have known that Farmer H wasn't done annoying me. He so glibly explained away his pee some random water on the toilet seat. Then acted like I was making things up. Believe you me, Mrs. HM has a vivid imagination, and can most certainly make up better stuff than pee on a toilet seat. Even in a state of unconsciousness. Like the dream I had Friday night about villains chasing me around a casino.

Allow me to tell you some details, because now that a couple days have passed, I'm noticing some parts that might have been prophetic! In this dream, I wandered around a casino, looking for four friends, to give them money. I had a stack of five twenties in my left pants pocket, and a stack of five twenties in my right pants pocket. So, $200 I was trying to give my friends.

In this dream, two bad guys ran in with guns. I think they were dressed in black, like ninjas. Lucky that Dream HM knew the mob bosses who ran the casino! They yelled at me and my friends to "Head down to the tunnel!" I guess that was as secret hiding place. As my friends and the mob bosses scurried, somebody flung a bucket of coins in the air, which distracted the other patrons into crawling around grabbing them, and blocked the path of those ninja villains.

Heh, heh! I woke up due to Farmer H's morning dressing routine, and never knew what happened. I felt cheated. We shall revisit this dream, perhaps tomorrow...

Anyhoo... that revelation just hit me, but what I started out to do right now was show you some evidence a picture:


It's not a banana peel stuffed in the cushions, but it's garbage left by Farmer H at his La-Z-Boy. I discovered it Sunday morning, and at first thought it was crushed-up crackers. We have crackers, but Farmer H doesn't eat them. Not even in chili. And they're older than the last time we had chili, so I might need to use them as dog treats. Anyhoo... my second guess was those little hard breadsticks that come in plastic with a little pool of cheese for dipping. I know I've seen some of them that Farmer H bought at the auction right after Christmas.

Oh, I didn't do a taste test! That would be crazy! I just left those crumbs there. I'm not a MAID, by cracky! I went on about my business, and when I came upstairs to make Farmer H his supper that evening, the crumbs had mysteriously disappeared. I'm hoping he threw them away, rather than eating them.

Farmer H even had the good sense to ADMIT HIS WRONGDOING this time! He said it was popcorn. We have some little individual bags of different flavors that I bought to include in The Pony's package from Easter.

"I guess it was on the footrest, and fell down there when I closed up the chair."

I didn't even bother to ask how you get popcorn on the footrest while you're leaned back in a La-Z-Boy eating popcorn.

4 comments:

River said...

He cleaned it up himself??
Cue the singing angels...Hallelujah, miracles do happen.
It's possible to get stuff on the footrest if you swipe spilled bits off your lap I guess.

Hillbilly Mom said...

River,
Yes! Before I even mentioned it! I think Farmer H might have been replaced. First the book-reading, now this!

Maybe Farmer H had those particles on his belly, and sat up straighter to see the TV, and the crumbs went from belly to lap to footrest to floor. Unless he's been sitting in the La-Z-Boy like adolescent Genius, who was always cattywompus, sometimes nearly upside down.

Kathy's Klothesline said...

I always find crumbs around and in the recliner of HeWho. He eats none stop until bedtime. Fortunately, Toni Louise takes care of those. Only useful thing she does!

Hillbilly Mom said...

Kathy,
Toni Louise is your ROOMBA!