When I left for town Thursday, Farmer H was lurking under the carport, putting in or taking out a folded-up aluminum ladder from SilverRedO's rear. A man was with him! So I had two lurkers lurking while I backed T-Hoe out of the garage. I was just able to squeeze by that poking-out ladder to make my turn onto the driveway. We won't even talk about what those two were up to...
Anyhow, when I arrived home, I had a box to carry
in. That is not up for discussion today, either. I didn't have anything
else besides my 44 oz Diet Coke, purse, and the mail. But the box was
awkward, and heavy for me. I tried to call Farmer H. I saw SilverRedO
under the carport. So I figured he might be in the house. I'd not
noticed if the Gator was there. What do you think I have, some kind of
The phone rang and rang and rang
some more. Then it went to voice mail. Huh. Maybe Farmer H was over in
the BARn, where he doesn't get reception. Sigh. I carried that box to
the side porch, and set it on the metal chair, while Juno and Jack leapt
about. I kept my mouth shut! No nose-tasting for me this time! Jack got
his paws on my shoulders, but a shirt will wash. He seemed to be dry,
I tossed them a handful of cat kibble (apiece),
got my stuff from the car, and headed for the kitchen door, with
promises of a really good treat. Grease bread, and chicken wing bones!
The minute I stepped through the portal, I sensed that Farmer H was
inside. No, I don't have a special sensor that goes off. I saw that the
TV was on GUNSMOKE. I'd left it on cable news.
"You'd better NOT EVEN be in here!"
"Huh? Why? What do you mean?"
"I just tried to call you. I have a heavy box that I was hoping you'd carry."
"I didn't get no call. Here. No missed call."
"Never mind, then. I see you're not getting up. So I'll go back out and finish carrying in that heavy box..."
sound of movement or apology from Farmer H. But you knew that, didn't
you? Having that special sensor that can predict Farmer H's behavior.
He could have at least come up with an outrageous excuse, so I could have had the pleasure of picking it apart.