Friday, December 13, 2019

The Lazy Bird Gets The Bologna

Well. I boiled up that big ol' vat of chili, and after one eating (which he proclaimed was good), Farmer H scheduled a dinner date for the next evening! True, it was with a child (grandson HOSS), for a pizza buffet. But still! That chili isn't going to eat itself.

When I got home from town yesterday, Farmer H had clearly just eaten lunch. I couldn't see him, and I saw nothing that had been used for food preparation. But his voice had that sound of recent consumption.

"What are you eating?"

"I made me a baloney sandwich. I was going to make me some chili, but I figured I'd be in the way."

"I don't know how you thought THAT! I wasn't even home. What are you, psychic? How long does it take you to warm up a bowl of chili? How were you going to warm it?"

"In the microwave."

"Which takes a minute or two."

"No. I would have taken me about 15 minutes."

"How's that? Were you going to use the pan on the stove?"

"No. I told you. The microwave. But I thought I'd have a hot dog with it."

"Oh. So you were too lazy to make it for yourself."

"Well. That is a lot of work. So I just made a sandwich."

"Oh. Because you'll be having the chili dog for supper."

"Nooo...I'm going out for pizza, remember?"

"Yeah. I do now."

Farmer H can darn good and well make his own chili dogs Friday night before the auction. He's not getting off that easy. Seriously. I made the chili. I bought him the hot dogs and buns. It's not like he had to slaughter assorted lips and snouts and intestines and grind them into a casing.

3 comments:

River said...

15 minutes to microwave a hot dog and a bit of chilli? how long did it take to make the sandwich? I suppose if all he did was slap some baloney on a slice of bread and cover it with another slice of bread, that's about 30 seconds.

Sioux Roslawski said...

Does he cremate the hot dog? What hot dog takes that long?

Hillbilly Mom said...

River,
I guess he had to find all the ingredients. He professes that he doesn't know where anything is. Yet he can find old hot dogs in the back of FRIG II that have been lost for 6 weeks... Let's see, he needed to find the chili, the buns, the hot dogs, a plate, a spoon, a fork, and the microwave! With the sandwich, his baloney and cheese was side by side in FRIG II. The bread is in the cabinet over the paper plates. I doubt he used mustard. That's an extra step.

***
Sioux,
You never know with Farmer H. Oh, wait! It was a new pack of hot dogs, and I'd berated him about how he puts things back in FRIG II. I emphasized that the hot dog package should be PUT IN A ZIPLOC BAG so the juice didn't run out in FRIG II when he just folded over the end. THAT solves the mystery! He had to find the baggies, and actually put the hot dogs in it. I'm shocked that he didn't eat all 8 to avoid that step.