Mrs. HM, The False Accuser

I couldn't find my pen on Tuesday. The black pen on the kitchen counter, by the box of Puffs With Lotion and the container where I keep the stamps. The Pony was looking for it. We were in a hurry to leave for a casino trip. But no pen. I went to look for it myself. Gone, baby, gone.

Of course I blamed Farmer H. He's taken that pen before, and left it on the marred coffee table in front of the long couch. Once we returned home, I interrogated Farmer H about that pen while looking on the TV table next to his recliner.

"I didn't take your pen, HM."

"Well, you've taken it before, and now it's gone. It's just like this one here on the TV table."

"I didn't take it. I only have this one here."

"That's not anything like it. What's THIS one?"

"I don't know. I've never seen that one before."

"Sure you haven't. It's not the one I'm looking for. It's too heavy. But I sure didn't bring it in here. I've never seen it. I'm taking now, though. To put in the kitchen."

"Go ahead. I've never seen that pen in my life."

So I had a replacement pen, but not the kind I wanted. As luck (or that smirking Even Steven) would have it, my internet was down the next day. I sat down to write out the updated letter for dividing the Flip House property into two lots. 

As I reached for the black pen I keep on the kitchen table, my eye was drawn to the box sitting beside it that holds the paid bills and records for the flip house. On top of the papers was ANOTHER BLACK PEN! That's when I remembered that when moving my "office-y" stuff off the kitchen table for Christmas Dinner, I had placed my table pen in that box. 

I must have needed the other one in the kitchen, and asked The Pony to hand it to me to write on the back of winning scratchers after our feast. Then when the box was returned to the table, I didn't notice the pen in it, because I already had an identical pen there where I usually kept the other one.

Poor Farmer H. I meant to relay this info to him last night, but he went to bed before 7:00! It still doesn't explain that mysterious heavy black pen. I guess I'll put THAT one back on the TV table next to Farmer H's recliner. In case he's needing a pen, you know. So he'll leave mine alone.