Mrs. Hillbilly Mom Still Has It

Yep! I've still got my extrasensory knack for picking the slowest line. I would have said my unique talent, but I have a feeling some of you share my skill.

I was back at Country Mart on Friday, mainly for bananas (they're eaten by two now), and Little Debbie Cosmic Brownies for The Pony. He rarely asks for anything from the store. He still has some left from my last shopping trip, but I think he deserves a little pick-me-up after working 60 hours for the second week in a row.

While there, I also picked up two boxes of pinwheels, and a deli dinner for Farmer H and The Pony. Fish for Farmer H, with mashed potatoes and mac n cheese. He likes the green beans, but they looked like they'd been floating there for a while. Also, they ran out of brown gravy, so he had to have the white gravy. I don't think he cared. The Pony got shrimp, with both sides of mac n cheese. I'm not sure he ate it, since he didn't get home until 8:30. Don't worry about The Pony. He stops for a hearty McDonald's breakfast on the way to work. He can have it Saturday night instead.

I also grabbed some toilet paper and a 3-pack of Puffs With Lotion, and a pack of mini Hershey bars for The Pony. He's lost 30 pounds since he went to work for the USPS. Gotta keep up his strength with empty sugar calories!

Two checkouts were open. I got in the one on the left, with a lady standing down at the end, putting her bags in the cart. There was a man with only a case of beer and a plastic tub of pecans. Then a lady with a half-full cart. I figured it would move pretty quick.

The line on the right had a man with a bunch of beverage cases in his cart. I didn't pay attention. I'm thinking it was soda. The lady was coming out from behind that short counter to pick up one and then go scan it. He was an older man. Behind him was a guy in a motorized cart. His basket was mainly full of paper goods, but he'd been in line behind me at the deli. I figured it would take a while to get stuff out and back into his cart basket.

A lady came up behind me and kind of hovered between the two lines. I guess that's allowed. I had clearly staked my preference in the left line. Another lady came up behind HER, and asked which line she was in. So HoverGal moved to the right line. Which left SecondGal hovering.

Sweet Gummi Mary! She had two young boys with her who'd been running all over the store. That really annoys me. Other people's kids should never been seen, and not heard. They were around 6-7. Not toddlers trying to escape. Kids of school age who should know better. Yes, it was about 4:00. After-school time. I'm sure they had pent-up energy. She should have exercised them on the parking lot. I just don't suffer childish behavior well these days. Train your children, or keep them on a leash. They ran up to one lady, and jabbed her in the arm, and yelled, "HEY!" It was obvious that they were acquaintances, but that poor lady jumped with fright. My teacher stinkeye had no effect on the perpetrators, nor their enabler. Probably because I'm invisible now that I'm old.

Anyhoo... back in my line, the lady ahead of me realized that we were at an impasse, and moved over behind HoverGal in the right line. Which was a signal for SecondGal to also push into that line. Even with the checker running after the motorized guy with a bag of his forgotten purchases, all three of those gals were done before I was waited on. I still don't know the nature of the holdup, but that end lady was there forever. Not paying. Just putting stuff in her cart and discussing something (that didn't seem personal) with the cashier.

By the time Beer Case Nut Man had his turn, he motioned to the beer, and said, "You need to take one of these out of here!" The cashier didn't object. Nor did she take one. I have a feeling that might be frowned upon.

When it was my turn, she said, "I think it's time for my break!"

I told her it was PAST time for her break! She'd also been answering questions from two people standing at the service desk, where NOBODY was working. That's on them, I guess. Even though they asked her if anybody was going to be working there. Today. OR tomorrow. They finally left, saying they'd be back tomorrow. 

Two workers wearing the employee red vest came in the front door. From break, I guess. Cashier told them, "People are getting tire of waiting. LEAVING tired of waiting." It did not seem to make an impression.

As I was taking my receipt, the lady behind me said, "I only want to pay for a small bag of ice." Well. Excuse me for not turning around to see what anyone behind me might have. But I still wouldn't have offered to let her go ahead of me. I'd been WAITING, you know. Not that she expected me to let her ahead. It's just that I normally might. But NOT on this day.

Farmer H Discovers First-Hand That LESS Is MORE

Farmer H came home late on Thursday, because he was supervising some paid help over at the $23,000 house. He said he'd get something for his supper, since he was sure when he'd be done. Little did Farmer H know at the time that he was about to be rudely awakened.

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"I went out by KFC, because I like their fried chicken. I ordered a combo, which is chicken, a side, a biscuit, and a soda. It's $7 and something. I told her I didn't want the soda. 

 

When I got to the window, she said, 'That'll be $11.49.' 

 

I said, 'WHAT? It's only $7 and something!' 

 

She said, 'Well, you didn't want the combo.' 

 

I said, 'I didn't want the soda. So I'm getting less, but now it costs more?' 

 

And she said, 'Because you didn't get the combo.' 

 

That's CRAZY! I just drove off and didn't take it. I went to Dairy Queen and got the 4-piece Honey BBQ Chicken Strip Basket, which comes with fries and toast. For $6.82."

_____________________________________________________________________

 

Good for him. But only last week, he was mad at Dairy Queen for charging him for a cup of water.

Fake Honey Nut Cheerios. The Miracle Cure?

Mrs. HM has been feeling a bit under the weather for a little over a week. Out of sorts. Not herself. The main complaint being dizziness. Unless it's called vertigo. I don't know the difference, and I don't care to look it up. The best description I can give is that I feel like back when I was a drinkin' woman, in college, and had one (or six or seven) too many, and got the bedspins when I laid back. Or maybe it's called headspins, heh, heh. It's like you feel you are spinning, but when you open your eyes, everything is still in one place, but the spinning sensation continues.

Let the record show that I don't have my eyes closed when this happens, because I AM DRIVING! Yes. It comes on all at once, when least expected. Once it was right after I leaned over to turn the dial on T-Hoe's radio. I swear, it's like I'm living in primitive times, having to do that, with my XM Radio on the fritz, and Farmer H not lifting a finger to solve the problem. Other times, my head is perfectly still. Maybe driving, maybe sitting at a stop light. Maybe standing in line. I don't notice it when I'm walking in or out of a store.

Anyhoo... it's gotten to the point where I wonder if I should just stay home. But then I'll have a good day, with only a slight mild incidence of spinning. There's no rhyme nor reason to it. I've considered all the possible causes, and ruled them out. I'm not a doctor, you know, but I've watched all 15 seasons of ER.

I don't have any ear pain like I did a while back, with that random shooting sensation. No fever. No headache. I did have a bit of the crackly neck sensation. No water in my ears. I haven't been poking the cap of a Bic fine point in there. So I can't really blame the ears.

I don't think it's a lack of oxygen. When it happens, I take deep breaths. Like when an alarm kept going off after my thyroid surgery, waking me up, and a nurse would rush in and say, "BREATHE! BREATHE! DEEPER!" and then the alarm would stop. But then Farmer H noticed that they had an oxygen prong thing under my nose, but IT WASN'T HOOKED UP TO THE WALL OXYGEN! So it seems that oxygen is not my problem right now. I can breathe easily and deeply, not like when I had the pulmonary embolisms. So I've ruled that out as well.

I thought it might be heart-related. Like a-fib or something. But I don't notice anything off about my heartbeat, like back when my potassium got dangerously low, and I ended up in the ER with a skipping heart because my non-potassium-depleting blood pressure med had depleted my potassium, necessitating some horse pills for a while.

 

I thought maybe I was dehydrated. Old people get dehydrated, don't they? And it makes them confused. Maybe it contributes to balance problems, which might be caused by dizziness. But my main problem happens during the time I'm in town, and right after I return. So around 1:30 to 5:00. But I drink a full glass of water with my thyroid med around 11:30, and a bubba cup of water while eating Fake Honey Nut Cheerios and playing Candy Crush during 12:30 to 3:00. So I must be hydrated. I don't get the dizzies when I wake up, after not drinking water all night. Nor in the evening while sitting at New Delly computing.

With nothing else to go on, I decided to add a banana to my morning (noonish) meal of FAKE HONEY NUT CHEERIOS. Bananas are a good source of potassium. Farmer H bought some at the auction, and had some left that I bought at the store. So rather than let them go bad, I figured I'd have one a day. That did not seem to have any effect after four days. Even though I know it takes weeks to build the potassium level back up.

Anyhoo... on Tuesday, I got to thinking about the dizzies again. Wondering if it could be my medicines. Way back when I first started taking the beta-blocker, it made me tingly in the extremities, and feeling light-headed. Almost like a panic attack, but always within five minutes of taking that pill. After a while, I adjusted to it, and those symptoms stopped. But THIS dizziness is not like the light-headedness. Still, I took a look on the medicine bottles.

My thyroid med had no warning, other than the instructions to take it four hours after eating, or at least an hour before. That's what I do. Take it an hour before any Fake Honey Nut Cheerios. I lay out my other two meds, and take them right before eating. They say they can be taken with or without food. I've done it this way for a long time. I put them on the kitchen counter when I take the thyroid med, so I won't forget them, and then take them before sitting down at the kitchen table with HIPPIE.

Anyhoo... when I read the bottles for my beta blocker and my blood pressure med, BOTH OF THEM SAID "MAY CAUSE DIZZINESS!" 

So... on Wednesday, I ate my FAKE HONEY NUT CHEERIOS and banana, THEN took the beta blocker. After a half hour, I wasn't feeling any different. So I took the blood pressure med. Not much different, except it seems to loosen up my clogged sinuses sometimes, and make me clear my throat. My trip to town was perfectly normal. Not even a hint of discombobulation.

I am declaring FAKE HONEY NUT CHEERIOS to be a miracle cure! Or else a coincidence. I will continue to eat them BEFORE taking the second two meds, and stagger the ingesting of these two pills. Hope that fixes my problem. Or else I had something that I healed from on the day I tried this experiment. It's far from scientific...

 

Yum, yum, getcha some! Don't even need a prescription. This is the Save A Lot off-brand.

The Yin And Yang Of Job-Doing

Welcome back my friends, to the topic that never ends. The quest to sort out technicalities and allow The Pony to resume paying on time with plastic. The issue goes on and on, unresolved. I'm sure you're tired of the subject. It's like gently chastising a very-much-alive pony. Nothing good comes of it, but you feel a little better when you're done.

Tuesday, I rose bright and early, with the intention of leaving the Mansion by the Not-Heavenish hour of NOON, to get to the bank with The Pony's legal papers before lobby hours ended at 2:00. After my shower, I decided to try one last call to the bank. Just in case I could save myself a trip. Perhaps the Credit Card Guy had gotten through to the bank, and the matter was resolved. STOP LAUGHING!

This time, my call to the branch bank was answered! Bank Phone listened to my tale, and said, "So... all you have to do is fax them your paperwork."

"Well. I don't have fax capabilities. That's why I need your bank to do it. You already have the copies."

"Fax technology is so old. You'd be better off to email it to the person who requested it."

"That's the thing I need THE BANK to do. He said he was calling to take care of it yesterday, but since I couldn't get anyone to answer the phone at your branch or the main branch, I'm pretty sure HE couldn't get through, either."

Let the record show that Bank Phone didn't even have the common decency to apologize for my lack of access to service with my account. She DID, however, provide an excuse.

"We are down two people at this branch. One just left to take a job at a finance office. We have hired two new people, but it will take 8 weeks to train them."

WHAT IN THE NOT-HEAVEN? Train them for what, not-answering the phone? The Pony was trained to deliver mail in 5 DAYS! I'd say that's harder than counting money and entering data on a computer terminal and talking through a speaker and shooting a canister through a tube.

"So I guess I'll have to call the credit card company again, and get an email address, and then I can bring in my paperwork. I hope I have time to get there before the lobby closes. I was on hold over 10 minutes yesterday. What is your name, so I can ask for you when I get there, and not have to explain it again?"

"Oh, I can give you my name, but I'm not at the bank. I'm working from home."

!!!!!!!!!!!!

I called the credit card number again. Got a different Credit Card Guy, even though I mentioned the other one's name, and asked if I could talk to him. Nope. He was probably working from home. CCG2 was just as polite. Just as understandable. He gave me HIS name, as if it was good for anything. He took all my info, DOB, SS#, and didn't hassle me about the full account number. Though he DID say they'd need it for the branch bank to fax them the information.

"They say they can't fax it! Their fax is too old. But they can email it."

"Email is okay. Here's where to send it..."

"Is there a particular person to send it to? Like you or the other guy, who know what's going on?"

"No. Just this email."

"The other guy said they would get a response right then that it was received."

"No. You should allow AT LEAST two days. They will notify the bank."

"Then how will we ever know if the security hold is taken off?"

"Call the branch bank."

AS IF they would answer the phone! Anyhoo... by this time, it was NOON:35. I rushed to T-Hoe and headed to the bank. It takes about 30 minutes of town driving. The lobby was open. No mask requirements. I was the only customer. A Loan Officer came from behind the counter holding a disposable cupped beverage. She got right up in my space! Even though she was wearing a mask, so she should have known better. Maybe she's always been a close-talker. I stepped back, and held out my letter.

"I know WHAT needs to be done, I just need someone to DO IT! We got this letter about a security hold on our credit card account. They need a copy of the legal paperwork showing a name change."

"Oh, we can fax that."

"Um. No. Can you email it? I have the email address right here. Here's the letter, too, saying what's going on."

"Sure. Let me see."

Loan Officer took the letter and the index card with the email address. She walked off! Didn't motion me to come along. Just left me there, and went about 10 feet into her glassed-walled office and sat down at her desk and started pecking at the keyboard. I stood there behind a couple of chairs in the tiny waiting area.

"Looks like this credit card was closed on September 1st."

"No. Nobody closed the credit card. Maybe that's when the hold went on."

"I don't know. We can't access any of the credit card information. That's the people in Minnesota. But if they say they want a copy of the paperwork, that's what I'll do."

Loan Officer stood up and fed the letter through a machine that looked like a shredder, although I'm pretty sure it was some kind of scanner.

"Okay. Is that all you need?"

"Um. Aren't you going to send them THE LEGAL NAME CHANGE PAPERWORK that they need? You only have the letter they sent me."

"Oh... sure. I'll do that."

SHEESH! That branch bank might need to hire somebody to tell the other employees to "breathe in, breathe out," because they seem pretty helpless when left to their own devices. Anyhoo... I walked over to the door of the glass office, and handed her the papers.

"You'll need to unstaple them. And then I need them back, because they're the originals with the raised seal." [Can't be too careful giving instructions, you know.]

Loan Officer scanned and sent. She came back to the door and handed me all my papers. 

"Sorry, I was a little sloppy."

SHE HAD WRITTEN ON MY ORIGINAL LETTER! I guess she never heard of a cover sheet. For one to be so quick to offer a FAX, you'd think she'd understand that concept. Seriously. She had written the full account number on the top of the letter, made a mistake, crossed it out, and put the rest of the number underneath that messed-up part. These bank people have ONE JOB, and that involves working with numbers...

"Okay, so the Credit Card Guy (2) said I should allow two days, and then YOUR BANK will be notified that the security hold is taken off. They'll send it to the email address who sent it. Not to me. So... should I call in a couple of days [c'mon, we all know I'll have to drive over there] to see if you've heard?"

"Oh, I'd give it AT LEAST a WEEK."

"Well, the bill is due on the 15th, so I hope it can be paid while there's a hold on the card."

"I'm pretty sure they'll let PAYMENTS go through on a hold. You just can't charge."

"Okay. Well. I'll wait a week."

SWEET GUMMI MARY! Do you think this issue is going to be taken care of? If you do, I've got some nest egg rocks in Hillmomba that I'd like to sell you. But don't think you can contact me by phone!

________________________________________________________________________

Farmer H says we should email it ourselves. I guess he hasn't been listening for the last year that my printer/scanner hasn't been working. He says The Pony can do that with his phone. Yes. I think he COULD. If he was home long enough while working his 12+ hour days. The Pony's whole point was that the branch bank already took copies, and has the info, and should be able to send it with just a phone call. If only the world worked that way...

________________________________________________________________________

Somebody AVOIDING Doing A Job

Who knew this job thing would become a series? Not this old gal. But here it is. Every day I encounter a jobbish problem. Without revealing too much info (heh, heh, as if THAT has ever been a concern for Mrs. HM), I will try to relate Monday's episode. You know how in A League of Their Own, that etiquette instructor told the team, "A lady reveals NOTHING." Well. Mrs. HM is no lady...

The Pony (and I) got a letter that his (our) credit card account has been put on a security hold. It's his account and credit card, but my name is on it from when he opened a student account, and relied on me to handle rare financial transactions from this end. In fact, he was in the bank while healing from his broken ankle, to take care of a legal matter involving a name issue (lets just say it's similar to changing the account from "A Nag" to "The Pony"), and left my name on it on purpose. "You know, Mom, in case I need you to do anything for me while I'm at work."

Anyhoo... The Pony had tried to use his credit card on his day off last Friday, at Steak N Shake. I didn't work, so he used his debit. Apparently, the actual bank account is fine, but the credit card account (also through the bank) is not. We got the letter on Friday evening. So I couldn't call until Monday.

It took 8 minutes on hold to get through. I had a pleasant young man who had no trace of an accent. He was perfectly understandable, even though our landline had a terrible buzz that Farmer H is dragging his feet to diagnose. Anyhoo... the first thing Credit Card Guy said was, 

 

"Please give me your account number."

I read off the last four digits, which were all that were listed on the security hold letter.

"No. I have to have the full account number."

"I don't have that. I don't even use this account. My son uses it, I only have my name on it. He's at work. I don't have the full account number, and I've been on hold for nearly 10 minutes. I guess I'll have to call back another day."

"Well... what's your name? I can try to get in another way."

AS IF he didn't have all our account information right there in front of him once I gave my name. They can see the number you're calling from, too, and our home phone is listed on that account. Anyhoo... Credit Card Guy listened to my explanation of the problem. 

"We will need documentation of the change before we can unlock this account."

"How am I supposed to do THAT? He took the paperwork to our branch bank. They changed the name on the bank account. They took a copy, and gave the legal papers back."

"Which branch bank is this?"

"The Hillmomba bank."

"You can call them, and they can send us the documentation."

"Will they know where to sent it?"

"No. We'll have to give them the fax number."

"Uhhhhhhhhhhh..."

"I can call them, and then you can call them as well."

"So YOU will call them?"

"Yes. As soon as I hang up from this call."

"Okay. And then I will try this afternoon, to check on it."

"Yes. That will be fine. Do you have any other questions?"

"Does this affect the actual bank account? We think it's just the credit card account."

"I don't know that information."

"Okay. Thank you so much."

Well. I called the branch bank. I pushed "3" to talk to a person at that branch. And I got a recording that said the staff at this bank was unable to take my call, possibly because of "the current situation" and that I could call the automated number to talk to someone with the bank.

I tried TWICE! It was 1:20 p.m. The bank hours said the lobby is open from 9:00 to 2:00. And the drive-thru until 4:30. Farmer H came in, and said to call the main bank over in Bill-Paying Town. I tried that, and got the same message.

My issue is NOT with Credit Card Guy, who helped me to the best of his ability. But what if HE tried to call the branch bank, and got that same message? How in the NOT-HEAVEN does any banking business get done???

Tuesday, I'm going to the branch bank with The Pony's paperwork, to get to the bottom of this matter. If the bank hasn't heard anything about this, I will have a hissy-fit! THEY are the ones who will have to figure out who to contact to provide this information. They're the ones who promote this credit card. I can't go calling and sitting on hold and asking all willy-nilly for a fax number for a bank to forward documents.

Seriously. Are these bank employees afraid they'll catch THE VIRUS over the phone? I don't think there's any excuse for not answering the phone. Not everybody lives close enough, or has time off during business hours, to drive in and ask a question about their account! They should have one of those workers as a designated phone-answerer. Like those loan people. They're rarely busy when I've been there.

How can you justify not answering a business phone? Unless you're avoiding work... Do they just turn it off so it gives that message? Shouldn't it give a message like "All lines are busy, please stay on the line until someone is available to take your call?" Like at the credit card number.

Somebody Doing A Job Questionably

Wednesday I went by my pharmacy to see if my prescriptions were ready. I call them in, and usually get a text when they're ready. This time, the automated recording said they should be ready after 2:00. Since they banned people from going inside for so long, I got in the habit of using the drive-up window. We can go in now, but the window is quicker, and I'm not touching things that sick people might have touched, like the card-reader buttons, and the fake pen thingy attached to it, to sign my name. All I have to do at the window is hand the worker my debit card.

Anyhoo... it was 3:30, and I hadn't heard anything. This has happened before. Sometimes they're short on one of the medicines, and will have it the next day. I allow plenty of time so I don't run out. Since I was driving right by there anyway, I stopped.

"I'm not sure if my prescriptions are ready. I didn't get a text. If they're not, I'll come back tomorrow."

"Let me see..."

It was a new girl, early 20s. I'm always suspicious of a new worker. She was perfectly polite. Even misstated my DOB, making me automatically 10 years younger! Sadly, I corrected her. 

"Looks like I just need to package them. Be right back."

It didn't take long. She flipped up the receipt, and quoted me the price.

"Are you sure? Last month, it was $20 less! Could you look that up, please? And see what I paid then?"

"Well. Let me check. Huh. This computer is so slow! I'll have to go to the other one."

She went off in the direction of the counter. Was gone about 5 minutes. 

"Okay. The cost of one has gone up. But we're going to comp it for you."

Actually, it was almost $5 less than last month! But my receipt on the bag still had that amount that was $20 more. My register receipt didn't.

Here's the deal. When I used another pharmacy, my medicine was always the same amount. Every month. Like clockwork. But they fired a bunch of their workers, and redecorated their store, and lines and waits were longer. So I left them. My current pharmacy is behind Dairy Queen. Every month, the cost of my medicines varies by a few dollars and cents. Not always more, not always less. I don't get it. 

IF THEY CAN JUST TAKE OFF $20 LIKE THAT, HOW MUCH MIGHT THEY HAVE BEEN OVERCHARGING ME ALL ALONG?

If the price went up, then I should pay that price. Not get a discount because I questioned the window clerk. AND, it looked like my two generic prescriptions cost less than usual. I expect a standard amount for generics. Not sure what's going on here. But it was fishy as Not-Heaven. Not saying it was that girl's fault. It may be corporate policy. But something is off.

Somebody Doing A Job Right

I went to the main post office on Thursday for stamps. Seeing as how I'd read that mail rates were going up on October 1. I was the only customer at the counter. I was pleased to see Cheerful Guy come out of the back room when he heard the bell on the door.

Cheerful Guy is perhaps mid-20s. Every time I see him, he is polite with customers, and seems as if he ENJOYS HIS JOB. The Pony knows him by name, and he knows who The Pony is, because he mentioned speaking to The Pony on the day I went in to pick up a form for the broken ankle adventure that was just starting.

"I'm just here to buy three books of stamps, since the price will be going up tomorrow, I think."

"Actually, that's a common misconception. Stamps are staying the same, but the cost of mailing packages is going up."

"I mailed a package here on the 17th, and it STILL hasn't arrived!"

 

"Ooh." [Cheerful Guy raised an eyebrow.]

 

"Yesterday it finally got to Knoxville, Tennessee, on its way to London, Kentucky."

 

"Well, then. There ya go!" [Said Cheerful Guy, as if he knew all about an issue with either Tennessee or Kentucky. Or maybe he knows too much about London, Kentucky, being the center for appealing a workman's compensation case!]

 

"Oh. Well. I still want three books of stamps. What kind do you have?"

"Let's see... I have these, and these, and this one..."

Cheerful guy must have set seven or eight varieties of stamps on the counter.

 

"I didn't mean for you to go to all this trouble! I don't have to see them all."

 

"It's no trouble. I always like to show people what we have. And THIS ONE I can't-- [he looked at his watch] actually, I can sell it to you right now."

 

That was the Day of the Dead stamps that I chose. Kind of creepy, but kind of cool. I also picked the Western Wear, and a book of the regular flag stamps. Because my bills don't need nothin' fancy! Anyhoo... here's a picture of the two new kinds I bought.

 

 

"Are these all the same amount? Because one time I bought some at the Hillmomba post office, and there were fewer stamps, for the same price. And the lady wouldn't let me return them."

"They're all the same. Twenty stamps, for $11.60 each book."

"Okay. I'll take the Western, and the Day of the Dead, and the flags. Those children's Halloween look cute, but I'll stick with the Dead."

"Those Halloween stamps are HUGE!"

"I've been using the Star Wars stamps, and I have to be careful how far my address goes out, because the stamp will cover it if I'm not careful."

"These are even bigger than the Star Wars!"

Too bad I didn't take a picture of the whole selection. But I didn't want to be a WEIRDO! Because I want Cheerful Guy to stay cheerful for my next visit, and not run in the back room screaming, and send out that nitwit that I think messed up The Pony's package (heh, heh).