This Is Why We Can't Have Safe Things

It's been three weeks since our county road became a major detour. After a week, the highway department put up a pretty yellow marker on the main low-water bridge to show how high that water gets during flash flooding. They also put white flappy reflective markers along the sides of the bridge.

I'd like to think that they were just getting around to doing that for all rural low-water bridges, but something tells me they don't give a hoot about us regulars, and figured the detourers might be too stupid to drive over a one-lane low-water bridge without incident. I wish that had not been proven.

After the second week, someone ripped out the white flappy reflective markers. I suspect the fishermen who show up with families to dip a line into the foot-deep water without benefit of fishing licenses all around. Seriously. Couldn't you imagine much better places to fish if you were doing so legally? Other suspects include the scofflaw ne'er-do-wells who must find mischief for their idle hands. Like the ones who took the yellow metal water marker and peeled down both sides like a banana. Oh, and there are the speed demons who insist on rushing down onto the bridge while it is occupied by another car. That tends to knock out some white flappy reflective markers. But I don't recommend getting your tires that close to the edge.

The county has replaced the white flappy reflector markers twice, and had bolted the two sides of the yellow metal water marker together at the top and both sides. As of today, the white flappy reflector markers are totally gone, and the top of the yellow metal water marker has been bent down. In case you're wondering...water does indeed go above the five-foot mark during flooding.

People. Some of them just can't be helped. I'm hoping there is no major rainfall before this detour-making project is finished.

I have a feeling we're going to see some cars floating down a flooded creek.