Sunday, August 16, 2015

Stuff You Never Thought You'd Hear Yourself Saying To Your Kids

Every now and then, something slips from between Mrs. Hillbilly Mom's lips that should have been held back. Did your mom ever turn her fingers by her lips and say, "Tick a lock" when she pretended to keep a secret? Mine did. Apparently, my lips have been picked. Nothing is secure. Like that time in Little Caesars, when I told The Pony, "Do you know how hard it is to balance this pizza while I'm standing here holding your balls?" From the game machine that dispensed Super Balls as prizes, of course.

Well, thank the Gummi Mary, at least this time it happened in the privacy of our own basement. I was starting upstairs to warm up some supper in the oven or heat it in the microwave, and I off-handedly mentioned to The Pony, who was laying on the cheap couch with his laptop... 

"Oh. I haven't sent you that pr0n link yet." I started up the steps.

"Heh, heh. That's something you should never say."

"What?"

"Um. You're sending me a link for pr0n."

"You know what I mean! That article I read yesterday."

"I know. But that's not how it sounds."

"We shall never speak of this again. Unless I'm questioning you about pr0n. After I put it on my blog, of course. Remember that quote. I might forget the wording."

Yes. I sent my boy a pr0n link. Let the record show that it was an article about how pr0n is addictive, and the brain of the pr0n fiend shrinks in certain sections. Not that The Pony is a pr0n fiend. But he IS a 17-year-old boy. I was only doing a public service announcement in the privacy of my own home.

Because, you know...'baters gonna 'bate.

2 comments:

Sioux Roslawski said...

And raters gonna rate.

And I rate this post chuckle-worthy. And when it comes to The Pony, probably blush-worthy, too.

Hillbilly Mom said...

Sioux,
Let the record show that The Pony okayed the telling of this tale before I sent it out to the forever internets. He is thanking the Gummi Mary that I never gave him used swim trunks to wear when he assumed they were bought new from the gift shop...