Apparently, You CAN Outsmart An Outsmarter!

The Pony takes a piece of Tyson Parmesan Herb Encrusted Chicken in his lunch every day. Well, not EVERY day, but three days a week, Monday through Wednesday, and then takes leftover pizza for two days. That's his routine. He's a creature of habit.

I cook his chicken on Sunday, put it in a baggie with two packets of ketchup, and store them in Frig II until I take them out each morning to put in his lunch bag with a mini bag of Cheetos, a paper plate, a paper towel, and a metal container of ice water.

We are almost out of ketchup packets.

Normally, I hoard the ketchup packets from Captain D's. The Pony likes to get that treat on Mondays when he has an appointment in bill-paying town. But he has not had his appointment for six weeks now. And stores of packet-ketchup are running low. We can't get it at McDonald's, because they charge extra! Can you believe that? Charging for ketchup to put in your lunch? We don't go to many other places where one would ask for ketchup. So...we made a special trip to Captain D's on Monday.

"Pony. You're going to see what I go through here. Every time they get a new person and you think, 'Good! They got rid of another idiot who can't get the order right!' you find out that they merely replaced that idiot with another idiot. Now stop farting while I order. They can hear that over the speaker."

"Hmm...that one sounded normal enough." By that, he meant the order-taker. Not his fart. Some conversations just don't translate well in print.

"We'll see when we get to the window."

Of course we waited 10 minutes, with only one car ahead of us. Then it was our turn to pull up.

"Watch out. They usually forget the root beer, and I have to remind them before I drive off. LOOK! Shh...there's the root beer already waiting inside the window!"

"Great! I told you."

"Now what is it you get?"

"Ketchup and butter and a knife."

"Oh, yeah. They were only giving you two butters for four breadsticks. We don't need tartar sauce, because I didn't get anything for me or Dad."

"Don't forget, we need ketchup for my lunch."

Let the record show that one time, they gave us 17 ketchups and no butter, plus some cocktail sauce instead of tartar.

"Did you have the two piece fish and fries with breadsticks?"

"Yes." Money changed hands.

"Here's your root beer. Do you need any sauces?"

"Yes. Four butters, a knife, and a lot of ketchup." She closed the window. "There. That should do it. Make sure you look in the bag before I pull out, to make sure they put in the knife and your butters."

We got the bag of food. The Pony said we had everything. I pulled out of the lot.

"Um. Mom? They gave us CONTAINERS of ketchup!"

Those things are NOT going in a lunch bag!

HM-the-Outsmarter HATES IT when she gets outsmarted!