I Think The New Phone Was His Lifeline

Today we had lunch with my favorite gambling aunt. She wanted to say goodbye to The Pony as he headed out of our lives forever off to college. She chose a new old restaurant on the highway. It used to be one thing, now it's another. Not a smorgasbord, but a grill.

The Pony had a mushroom swiss burger, with fries on the side. Auntie had a quarter-pound cheeseburger with homemade chips on the side. I had a grilled chicken salad with raspberry vinaigrette. Oh, and Auntie ordered an appetizer plate of onion rings, because she said they're the best thing they serve. I will admit that those onion rings looked delicious, but I had nary a one. The Pony partook, using both ketchup some type of mustard sauce that came with the platter.

You'd think a salad wouldn't take long to make. But you'd be wrong. We met at 11:00 a.m., because we Hillmombans like to strap the ol' feedbag on early. Only four or five cars were in the parking lot, two of them being police. The onion rings came out about 10 minutes after we ordered. But the other food took another 20. Not that we were counting. We are known for lingering. Or perhaps loitering.

Here came the food! A big plate half covered with homemade chips! And a mushroom swiss burger! Which was wrong. Because The Pony ordered that burger, but with fries. And here was a platter for Auntie, with her cheeseburger and fries, no chips. Well. I though the waitress was going to have to call MENSA. She acted like she had no idea how to remedy the situation.

"Why don't you just set them down on the table, and they can each pick up their burger and put it on the plate where it belongs?"

Heh, heh. Mrs. Hillbilly Mom is a regular King Solomon sometimes. I suppose that waitress was going to take the plates back to the kitchen, and have the food cooked over. Which I might understand if they had gone to separate tables, people not in the same party. All I could think was, "How long will THIS take if she goes back to the kitchen?"

Because, you see. Mrs. HM did not even have her salad yet. I know, right? You'd think the salad would be the easiest to make. The first to the table. But no. I waited another five minutes for my salad. But what a salad it was! I wish I had taken a picture, but I was so busy digging into that platter of greenery that it never occurred to me. It looked like somebody went out back and dug up part of the yard. I have no idea what I was eating, but it was great. The grilled chicken bites were fantastic. And the raspberry vinaigrette was on the side, so I just picked up those greens and dipped them. Uh huh. With my hands. But the chicken I stabbed with my fork. Mrs. HM is NOT a barbarian!

Of course the other members of my dining party were done before me. Both claiming that their meat was dry, and the bread crumbly. Made me no nevermind! My salad was delicious. I left the purply kind of stuff, but ate all the greenery and diced tomatoes and sliced cucumbers. Nom Nom!

We lingered a little longer. The waitress came by numerous times to see if we needed refills. Nope. And they didn't need our table, either. Even the lunch crowd had plenty of seating to choose from. Let the record show that we did not leave until 1:00.

For a going-away lunch in his honor, The Pony sure didn't talk much.