Pardon me for sounding a bit put-out over something that's nothing. I'm sure my put-uponness stems from riding in the car with Farmer H for 18 hours over the weekend. It was in the car that this scenario presented itself.
We (and by we I mean Farmer H) were driving along I-44, somewhere between Fort Leonard Wood and Rolla, on the way back from our weekend in Oklahoma with The Pony. Farmer H's phone rang, and he took it out of his belt holster and answered. I would have preferred that he did not, what with sweaving along in the fast lane, beside semi trucks on that section of two-lane interstate with concrete dividers and no shoulder.
This is what I heard him say...
"No. We don't really have any plans. Genius is coming on Saturday. As far as I know, we're not doing anything on Thursday."
"I'LL BE GETTING FOOD READY!"
I couldn't hold it in. I could imagine Farmer H making plans or clearing the way for company on Thursday, when I had to start my pre-preparations for cooking the big Thanksgiving feast on Saturday. I've got 36 eggs to boil, and potatoes to boil, and a pie to make, and a house to clean. More food to get ready on Friday, and four dishes that have to be done on Saturday.
Farmer H got all hissy-fitty with me, glaring (which meant he took his only eye off the road to make his displeasure known). He turned his attention back to (not the road, surely you didn't assume the road) his phone conversation, and said...
"She means she's getting food ready for Saturday when Genius comes. I'll talk to her and see what we're doing."
Then he got off the phone and berated me for not keeping quiet.
"I was trying to make it look like we're not doing anything for Thanksgiving! You can never keep your mouth shut! You always have to blurt out!"
"What's the big deal! We AREN'T doing anything Thursday, but I am. I'm getting Saturday's stuff ready."
"That was REDACTED asking if we were doing anything, and did we want to get together on Thanksgiving."
"Well, no. We never do. We used to go to my mom's every year, and for the past two years I've cooked for US. You and me and Genius and The Pony. So I don't know what the big deal is."
"Well, you had to blurt out that you were cooking!"
"So? Lots of people cook on Thanksgiving."
"But I was trying to act like we're not doing anything, and then you had to blurt out that you were cooking!"
"For Saturday. For us and Genius."
"But REDACTED was asking if we wanted to get together. You should have just let me say we didn't have anything planned."
"What's wrong with just saying that we're having dinner on Saturday with Genius? How about THAT? Because I guarantee you that REDACTED wasn't inviting US to Thanksgiving dinner! That would have been, 'Are you doing anything? Would you like to come eat with us?' NO! REDACTED was fishing for an invitation to bring 8 people to have Thanksgiving dinner with US! We've never done that. If I'd planned on that, REDACTED would have been invited by now. I don't know why you said you'd check with me. Unless you're making ME the bad guy now. Because I'm not extending an invitation, like, 'Oh, come and eat with us. I'm making it anyway.' No. That's a lot of work. We've already been roped into having your RetirementPaloozaParty here, and a hayride/weenie roast. I'm not cooking Thanksgiving dinner for anyone but us."
Is that so wrong? Can you see how I feel? I guess men don't understand, because all they have to do is sit down and eat for 15 minutes, then get up and watch football or roam around outside on Gators and 4-wheelers. All that shopping and preparation and cooking and cleanup are MY duties. I'm not adding congenial-hostessing to the list. It's not like extending an invitation for a spinster aunt to bring a bowl of roasted parsnips and join us.
I would not dream of planning a celebration or get-together, and then having it take place at someone else's house. Am I overreacting? Was this just an innocent request to get together? Wouldn't REDACTED have suggested a restaurant, or an event, or extended an invitation to the REDACTED family home?
And why couldn't Farmer H simply have said, "We're having our Thanksgiving with Genius on Saturday. HM is getting stuff ready on Thursday and Friday." Then it's on REDACTED to counter with another plan, or not.
What say you?
6 comments:
I understand how you feel, but Farmer H makes a good point in that now REDACTED knows you are cooking stuff and might see that as an invitation to turn up and eat.
Farmer H is wrong. But then, he's always wrong (in my opinion). It's so like a man to say, "We aren't doing anything. Come on over," which means the wife has to kill herself cleaning the house and getting food shopped for and prepared.
Yes, you are right and he is wrong. Always.
Sioux--I couldn't agree MORE!!
River,
At least I threw away my sweatpants with the rip in the hip that showed my granny panties! If REDACTED shows up, I'll have to say, "Your psychic powers must be on the fritz, because I don't remember inviting you."
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Sioux,
EXACTLY! Thanks for VALidating my opinion.
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fishducky,
YAY! Another VALidator!
Well, at least he didn't drive around asking folks if they had plans and then invite them to our house. It was a strange group gathered here to eat. I had help with the food and I made HeWho is generous with my hospitality do the cleaning. Good thing he likes to use the vacuum.
Kathy,
Way to delegate duties! That'll learn him! Well...considering he's a carbon copy of Farmer H...maybe not.
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