Raising A Stink

Thank the Gummi Mary, we have a new air conditioner that is actually working! Kicking on and off like a champ, cooling the Mansion as it should. The temperature outside hit 97 degrees on Friday! I was uncomfortable in town, baking as I hobbled in and out of the Gas Station Chicken Store and 10Box on Saturday.

To make matters worse, an employee was rounding up the carts from the corrals at 10Box! I had a handicap parking space available, but no loose cart/walker in sight. That meant I'd have to walk down to the door, then back across the store to the carts. Which were now right in front of me, INSIDE the building, in their neat rows. I thought of walking under that open garage door, and stealing one. But I figured they probably didn't want people doing that, having the area marked off with orange cones and orange-and-white striped sticks. I couldn't risk such an infraction going on my permanent record!

Lucky for me, a dude came out with a case of beer and two bags in his cart. He was accompanied by another dude, and a worker. They were friends, chatting. Apparently he had just clocked out. The cart-corraller also walked over, having just jammed another line of carts under the garage door. They were chit-chatting, and one said, "Can you believe he's leaving us? AND he's going to leave his cart right here!" Indeed, the second dude had picked up the beer, and first dude was getting the bags.

"I'll take it!" I said, perhaps too excitedly, as I walked by.

The worker was happy with that, and even turned it around and put it right in front of me, ready for cart/walking. Can't beat that with a stick!

Anyhoo... I headed for the bananas. I only needed four, but that would keep me out of the store for two more days. A balding man in shorts, t-shirt, and no socks was standing with the cooler door open, looking at the bagged salads and already-cut fruit. I had to ease past him to get to the banana table. Huh. There was not much to choose from. They are always running low on bananas these days. A few bunches were on the tiered table, with some more underneath in bags in boxes.

I needed some greenish bananas so they'd last. I bent down to get a bag. Opened it up to tear off four of them. WHEW! What a stink! It turned my stomach! Were these bananas bad? They shouldn't smell like that, even when taken out of a bag. I took a little sniff, but they seemed okay. Maybe there was a bad potato. It kind of smelled like that. And potatoes and onions were on the table to my left. I turned to look, and almost ran into Shorts Guy. He was standing right in front of my cart!

I excused myself and moved my cart/walker over to the other table. I also needed some Vidalia onions, in a smaller size than those I had at home, because Farmer H wastes one by using only two slices. The onions smelled okay. I did not pick up any bags of potatoes to investigate. I moved on to the cereal aisle to get some instant Maple Brown Sugar Oatmeal. It has replaced fake honey nut cheerios with my banana every morning (noon).

Dang it! There was Shorts Man again! You know how sometimes you get that person who is on every aisle you go to? That was him. He was also on the cookie/chip aisle. I don't think he was creepily following me. But he WAS creepy. And here's the thing...

HE STUNK!

Every time he was around, I got a whiff of that bad smell. It wasn't sweat or BO. Something so much worse! Like he hadn't washed his rumpus in about a month. Not a poop odor. Just cheesy unwashed rumpus. My stomach churns now at the thought of it. There's no excuse for that! Stores have public bathrooms! They have soap and water! Wash your rumpus! You can even wash your shorts and t-shirt and wring them out and wear them wet out of the store. Nobody's going to say anything.

Other than the stink, he looked like a normal guy. He was shaven. Not scruffy or dirty. Just stinky.