You'd Think A Man Could Do Such A Simple Thing

But you'd be wrong!!! We're not talking about taking T-Hoe for an oil change. Something even easier. A child could do it. But not Farmer H.

Let's start at the beginning. Tuesday morning at 5:50. I was looking on the TV, reading the program guide to see what else was on, since we were in a commercial during Ridiculousness. Farmer H was on the long couch, looking up on his phone how much it costs to replace shocks and struts on a Chevy Tahoe. The TV went to a screen showing SIGNAL LOSS DUE TO WEATHER. We had a short spate of heavy rain.

In a few minutes, the DISH signal came back. And the show playing was the one I had been reading about on the program guide. I had NOT pushed the button to watch it. That was uncommon. It should have gone right back to playing Ridiculousness. 

"Huh. That's weird. It should be on the other show. I guess the signal got messed up with the rain."

I picked up the remote and pushed in the Ridiculousness channel, 160. But the show stayed on Young Sheldon, and the numbers on the screen changed from the 160 that I pushed in to the 139 of Young Sheldon. I did this three times. Farmer H watched. He agreed that was weird. But then he said,

"Give me the remote."

"Oh. So you think I'M doing something wrong. And only you know how to change the channel with the remote."

"Just give it to me. Sometimes it depends on where you push."

MALARKY!

Farmer H did the same thing I did. Pushed in the 1-6-0. But the numbers went back to 139, and Young Sheldon stayed on the TV.

"SEE! Either the receiver is messed up, or it's the remote. It HAS been saying LOW BATTERY for a couple weeks. Go get some batteries."

Farmer H went to the kitchen to get batteries out of the third drawer. That's all that's in there. Different size batteries, and a few of those gripper thingies for opening stuck jar lids. Both the pot-holder-looking kind, and the long handled circular kind.

"Welp! There goes that!" Said Farmer H after I heard a clunking noise. "The knob come off in my hand."

What in the NOT-HEAVEN???

How can a man not open a drawer without destroying something? The knob wasn't loose. Here's the thing. That drawer STILL has a childproof stick thingy on the inside! I'm pretty sure it's safe for The Pony to get into the battery drawer now. For some years now, even. But Farmer H has never taken that gadget off. The drawer will open about an inch, then a half-arrow shaped part of the white plastic gadget catches, and prevents further opening. 

Farmer H yanked so hard on that drawer that he pulled the knob off!

"Well. It's in two parts. I cain't find the other one." Farmer H brought the batteries. I put them in the remote, and the TV channels worked right again.

"What are we going to do about the drawer?"

"Well, HM, I'll have to see if I can find a knob to match it..."

I fully believe Farmer H planned on leaving, with my drawer knobless, to go about his merry way. But by my questioning him, he took another look on his way through the kitchen, and miraculously found the knob and put it back on.

In a normal household, the Farmer H would have removed such childproofing, once the younest child was past self-harm from getting into stuff. Not at the Mansion. The gadgets in the other three drawers have broken off the half-arrow part. The stubs are still there.

Farmer H is no stranger to fetching batteries. He should know that childproof gadget is still on that drawer. And not YANK so hard as to pull the knob off the drawer. Even a childproofed child could have figured it out.