On Friday, I picked up a few items at the store, and got home just before Farmer H arrived. Meaning I had to carry in the frozen stuff by myself. I was expecting him to get there at the same time, from our phone conversation. Turns out he forgot to pick up his medicine, and had to go back to the pharmacy.
Anyhoo... I was standing around the kitchen, waiting on him, to see how soon he wanted supper. He takes Pepper outside for a while when he gets home. I either want to have some time with my scratchers, or get his supper over with first so I don't have to stop.
"Do you want a drink first, or just supper?"
"I'm taking the little dog out."
"That's not the question. I was going to get it ready before I change clothes. Do you want a drink first, or just supper?"
"Supper is fine. I can just microwave it when I'm ready. I have to go to the bathroom!"
Off he went, to the master bathroom. I waited. And waited. Until finally Farmer H returned to the kitchen.
"So do you want a drink first, or just supper?"
"I told you, I'm taking out the little dog!"
"I know that! That's not the question! You always take Pepper out when you get home. I'm trying to find out when I should put your sausages in the oven. If you want it when you come in, or if you're having a drink first and I can scratch some tickets."
"I'm taking out the dog!"
"THAT'S NOT THE QUESTION! Look at me! Do you want supper or a drink?"
"A drink! I'll have a drink!"
"You just said supper before you ran to the bathroom! I'm trying to figure out how much time I have before starting it!"
"I want a drink. And supper! I can have a drink with supper!"
"Fine! I'll put it in the oven before I change, and I'll pour the drink for you to add soda."
Why should a simple question be so hard? You notice that it's to his benefit to answer. I'm doing something for HIM. I only want to know how to budget my time. I put his sausages in the oven at 250, figuring he'd be outside for a while with Pepper and Jack. I poured his Wild Turkey and added some ice, with it sitting on the cutting block so he could add the soda.
I went to get my other clothes, and change in the boys' bathroom. I was still in there when I heard Farmer H return. That was quick. I heard the pop of the soda can opening. I figured he was getting his drink and going to sit in the recliner until supper was ready. I came out of the bathroom to see nobody in the recliner.
"What are you doing?"
"Getting my buns."
"Your food isn't warm yet! It's on a low temperature. You were only out there 10 minutes!"
"Well, Pepper seemed like he enjoyed it, and was ready to come in."
"Your buns will get stale."
"They're fine. I imagine the sausages are warm enough. I can smell them."
Farmer H was closing up the package of buns. Dipping his hand into a big bag of Ruffles potato chips.
"Did you even wash your hands? I don't think so. And you just carried the dog back in."
"I washed them!"
"When?"
"Just now. When I came back. In my bathroom."
"You did not! No way did you walk all the way into the bathroom to wash your hands. And there's no paper towel here from you washing them at the sink."
"Whatever..."
Yeah. No way. I did not hear Farmer H walking to the other bathroom. I just heard the kitchen door, and the laundry room door. Then the soda opening. And came out and caught him with the buns. I might have believed him if he said he washed them at the kitchen sink, and dried his hands on his pants. But he didn't plan ahead with a logical lie.
That's how to catch a liar. Too much embellishment upon interrogation.
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