Monday, June 4, 2012

Diametrically Suited For Each Other

The world really needs to reach a consensus. Do birds of a feather flock together? Or do opposites attract?

In the the crucible that is the Mansion, I would have to put all of my eggs in the opposite attraction basket. Farmer H and I inhabit separate camps on the outskirts of many issues.

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Farmer H likes to watch shows about how men murder their wives.
Me, not so much.

Farmer H likes his soup hearty enough to eat with a fork, without that confounded juice.
I like my soup to be in liquid form.

Farmer H prefers to use all parts of the roadway for driving.
I am content to stay in my own lane.

Farmer H thinks goats should have freedom to roam and feed upon what they find.
I think goats should keep their lips off my roses and lilac bush.

Farmer H likes supper on the table at a different time each night, depending on what personal recreational activities he has lined up for the evening.
I prefer supper at the same time each night, doled out for consumption at the cutting block, couch, computer desk, or recliner.

Farmer H believes that stores will not sell him basic grocery items, so he leaves all the shopping to me.
I believe that a man should be able to read a list of five items and pick them up while he's in town.

Farmer H views a small, soft, round, leathery egg from the chicken coop as a chicken egg that has not hardened yet, even after several hours inside the air-conditioned Mansion.
I see such an egg as the fruit of a reptile, and believe its place is as far as I can throw it off the back deck.

Farmer H thinks that children are his personal servants, waiting like tennis-match ball-boys to dart here and there in an instant to accomplish his immediate errands.
I think that children are MY personal servants, waiting like tennis-match ball-boys to dart here and there in an instant to accomplish MY immediate errands.

Farmer H believes that I am the person who thinks food needs to be refrigerated or it spoils.
I think there are many people throughout recorded history who abide by my viewpoint.

Farmer H thinks sleeping should be done with a quilt over one's head.
I think that could lead to suffocation.

Farmer H believes that dirty clothes should rest comfortably on the floor until somebody needs to do the laundry.
I believe that dirty clothes are much more comfortable in a hamper in the laundry room.

Farmer H thinks one pair of shoes is all that anybody needs.
I think that feet deserve a varied wardrobe, depending on the season and their activities.

Farmer H is ready to call it a night at 9:00 p.m.
I think that at 9:00 p.m., the night is but a pup, and sleep can be put off until 2:00 a.m.

Farmer H thinks that his comings and goings throughout Hillmomba, and his hosting of various visitors at the BARn, are none of my business, but that I must check in with him if I go from room to room.
I think Farmer H needs a reality check.

4 comments:

Sioux Roslawski said...

I think HM needs to go on strike for a week. Do nothing but WRITE and take care of your own needs.

Missouri is the "show me" state. It sounds like Farmer H needs you to show him what a valuable part of the farm you are...

Hillbilly Mom said...

Sioux,
This will be a difficult week for that. Farmer H is taking two days off.

msj09027 said...

You need to read this blog page-
http://johnjudyc.blogspot.com/2012/06/wicoe-classes-for-men.html

Mike J in Fremont, CA

Hillbilly Mom said...

msj,
That is so timely. If only more men would enroll!