Saturday, March 22, 2014

Old Like Me

Here's what I hate about getting old...

Guys who have no use for you now that you've gone past the expiration date for drunken fantasy hook-ups treat you like you're a simpleton. An addled old lady who barely remembers to feed her 117 cats. Assume you'll believe whatever tale he tells, because he's a MAN, by cracky, and knows these things, and condescendingly deigns to tell you out of the goodness of his heart. Even though you are incapable of understanding such technical jargon. Yes. Guys do this. Especially tiny dudes, little fellows with Short Man Syndrome, a gift to womankind, doing their best to enlighten you on the workings of the thermostat.

"I just want it to work like it did before. Before somebody reset it on the day I had a substitute. When I came in, I would click it up two degrees. The heat would run until the room went from the overnight temp of 68 to 70. Then it would kick off. We were fine the rest of the day, because the body heat kept the room hovering around 70 or 71. But after the substitute incident, everything has been off. The AIR CONDITIONING came on when the outside temperature was in the 20s. We don't need that! Before, I could have just cranked it back down those two degrees. Or cracked the window open for a few minutes to let out some heat. I think we are wasting energy if the heat or air runs all day long. Two degrees between the settings, when I can't move it up or down, doesn't seem right."

"I can only set the thermostat like that if you want it on automatic. It will only work two degrees apart. Otherwise, I can just leave it on heat, or just leave it on cool. Just because you kick it up two degrees does not mean it will heat the room any better. Or kicking it down two degrees does not mean it will cool the room any better. And a thermostat does not know what the temperature is outside. If the room is 74 degrees, the air conditioner will cool it to 72. It doesn't matter how cold it is outside."

Give me a break! If a thermostat won't heat or cool the room any better when you move it manually two degrees, then what use is a freakin' thermostat? And since when is it economically feasible to run the air conditioning in the winter? Does ANYBODY remember when it was possible to adjust the temperature of a classroom during spring and fall by simply opening or closing windows?

Next time, I'm afraid he'll pee on my leg and tell me he doesn't know when it's raining outside.


Sioux said...

I thought ALL men thought they were God's gift to women.

No matter how old, how fat, how bald, how hairy, how bandy-legged, how wart-covered, how matter what they look like, men think they are **it on a stick and they're sure they're highly desirable.

How do they do it?

Kathy's Klothesline said...

Oh, the dreaded "little man syndrome". Why are all of them so snide and convinced there is nothing they do not know. I live to publicly humiliate them at every opportunity!

Hillbilly Mom said...

You ain't a-woofin'! At the school lunch table many years ago, we came to the consensus that ANY MAN CAN GET A WOMAN. Murderer locked up for life? No problem. Some woman will marry him, put money in his account, and write to him every day.

They know this. Thus, the smugness.

We're a cranky lot, those of us who are Old Like Me. But there is indeed such a thing as LMS. I think we should put this out there. Any time some dude of less than average stature starts in about PMS, we just laugh and counter with LMS.