Oh, dear. I found my meeting this morning to be a little slice of not-heaven. I'm sure it was fine as meetings go, meetings that go from nine a.m. until eleven a.m. It wasn't the meeting's fault. It wasn't meeting...it was me. I really did not want to be there.
It did not help that nobody told me about the meeting to start with. I got to school early. A full half-hour before we were scheduled. I chatted with Mrs. Not-A-Cook for a good twenty minutes. The she abruptly announced that we should probably go down to the meeting, of which she was informed by a topper in the phone tree. Because she's sprier than I, she beat me to the bathroom. I thought perhaps she might be outside the door waiting for me, to accompany me down the hall. I was only in there an instant. It's not like I was washing my hair in the faculty women's restroom sink. But when I came out, she was gone. Gone like the roadrunner, without the "beep beep!"
I hurried on down to the library, not wanting to be the last one, not wanting to have no chair available in my chosen spot. The whole world of faculty meetings has gone to not-heaven in a handbasket, what with the retirement of my best old ex-teaching buddy, Mabel. Imagine my surprise when I entered the completely empty library. Oh, there was furniture. And books. And a gazillion puzzles glued together and hung on the walls. But no people. For a moment, I expected the whole crew to jump out and scream, "SURPRISE!" It was a surprise all right. I was alone. I picked my seat. Not like that. Though that's the best chance I would have had, since we are surveilled within an inch of our lives everywhere but INSIDE a classroom. Or a library. Or a hair-washing station that masquerades as a bathroom.
No sooner had I sat down than two colleagues strolled in and sat at different tables. That did not hurt my feelings one bit. Mrs. Hillbilly Mom is as repulsive as a like-poled magnet to her cohorts. No attraction at all. Not even from her gravitational pull. Oh, then another darted in and said, "Uh, the meeting is not for another half hour." Seems folks played telephone with the phone tree, and everybody got just a little bit different message.
Things went downhill from there. I would elaborate, but I think I'll put that on my other blog. Because I can. And because I don't really have an idea for that one tonight. See you there, if you're an insider.