Saturday, October 7, 2017

A Surprise Attack

Whew! I risked life and limb today to get some cash from the ATM.

The weather is a cypher lately. The temperature was 84 degrees by 11:30 a.m., and the winds were whipping at too-goshdarn-many miles per hour. It's the kind of day that would blow the hair right off of your head. As I facetiously told my new superintendent one morning, only to become mortified when my freshman class informed me that "He wears a piece, you know."

Farmer H is taking me to the casino on Sunday, so I can use my $35 of free play, and my $20 food coupon. Of course he needs money for playing (or scamming to spend later on Goodwill treasures). I used to give him some of my own casino bankroll, but that proved to be money that did not reap a profit on my investment. So now I give him cash out of the common fund.

As I pulled up to the ATM, T-Hoe was pelted with pine cones! It was like I was in a snowball fight with Will Ferrell in ELF. Sprigs of pine stuck under T-Hoe's windshield wipers, but by the time I was situated along the back alley where I make my exit, in order to take picture...they were gone. Gone with the wind.

I got a picture of the culprit and the pine cones, though! Notice that there are none in the drive-up area right beside the ATM. That's because they bounced off of T-Hoe and landed back there! These were not just your every-day, run-of-the-mill pine cones that drop from the tree. They were missiles!

I haven't checked T-Hoe's flanks for indentations. I'm pretty sure my insurance doesn't cover pine cone damage. They're probably still bitter over last year's hail damage claims from all of our autos and the house and garage roofs.

Never a dull moment in Hillmomba.


Sioux Roslawski said...

Here in the hood we hear bullets, not pine cones.

Have fun at the casino tomorrow.

Hillbilly Mom said...

Here out of town, we hear bullets, too! Farmer H especially, raining down on his cabin roof one time while he was relaxing inside with a fire in his stove, and his old dog Grizzly at his feet. Of course he jumped in his Gator and took off to confront the shooters. Two teenage kids who SAID their uncle owned the piece of land they were shooting from. They left forthwith, and the lady across the gravel road from them thanked Farmer H for handling it.

I will enjoy losing my money so that I can have the pleasure of building my bankroll again through scratch-off tickets. And the burgers will taste delicious, because they are virtually FREE except for a couple of dollars that we go over because Farmer H gets cheese and I get onions.

River said...

Attack of the pine cones. That's new.

Hillbilly Mom said...

I don't think I've seen a horror movie on that topic. Killer tomatoes, yes. Pine cones, no. I am willing to act as a technical advisor. For pay, of course.

fishducky said...

Let's hide in the cemetery--no, the haunted house!! The pine cones are coming!!

Hillbilly Mom said...

Those are GREAT hiding places! I guarantee nobody will find ME in either of them. Especially after dark. Not because I'm such a good hider...but because I WON'T GO THERE.