Tuesday, May 7, 2019

Mrs. HM Wasn't Ready To Roll Over And Play Dead

A human vulture was waiting to swoop in on me Monday at The Devil's Playground. I'd found a parking space two rows off the food-end entrance, about six spaces up. Next to a cart return. It's not all that good a parking space, but it was the best one I could find. I was loading my purchases into T-Hoe's rear when a white car with a handicap license plate started up that aisle. It paused. As if parked.

Let the record show that I was NOT in a handicap parking space. Not even near one, the closest being across the aisle behind me, three spaces down. I did not see anyone in the cars parked there. It became obvious that this human vulture was waiting to scavenge MY parking space. It doesn't matter to me what happens to my parking space when I leave. But I wasn't ready to leave!

I was still taking bags out of the cart, by cracky! Then I had to put the cart in the rack. And I always climb into T-Hoe, wash my hands with GermX, put away my debit card in the checkbook, and write down the amount of my purchase, balancing my ledger. That's my routine.

In previous situations such as this, I have carried out my routine. But this car had already been blocking the aisle for going on 5 minutes! I knew it was going to live rent-free (possibly with paid utilities) in my head, while I was completing my routine. That's never a good thing. It takes only a minor break in routine to discombobulate Mrs. HM. I'd forget where I put my debit card, or make a subtraction error, or transpose numbers from the receipt. So I gave in. I guess I WAS ready to roll over and play dead.

I started up T-Hoe and backed out, my dirty germy Devil hands touching the steering wheel and shifter. Some idiot woman appeared out of nowhere while I was backing. T-Hoe's backup sensor hasn't worked for years. So I'm extra careful about watching for pedestrians. I can only guess that she strode into striking distance as I swiveled my head to check the other side of the aisle, for pedestrians on their way toward the store.

This is why so many idiots are falling out of buildings and off cliffs while taking selfies! They are just pure idiots! You'd think that if you were walking towards a moving 2000 lb vehicle, you'd stop and wait until it got where it was going. But no. These idiots think they have the right-of-way in the driving aisle. It's not like there's a crosswalk or sidewalk. They're as bad as road-walkers! If I was artistic, and a bit more motivated, I would draw a cartoon of such an idiot, under the back tires of T-Hoe, texting that they'd been run over and couldn't get up. Idiot!

Anyhoo... I drove to the upper end of the parking aisle, and pulled into another parking spot, turned off T-Hoe, and did my handwashing and card-stowing and ledger-balancing.

The nerve of some people!

2 comments:

River said...

That park and wait is a bullying tactic, you got bullied into moving on and that's not a good thing. You need to grow a suit of armor and learn to wait them out, while you do your stuff. On the other hand, you are the only person I know who does the credit card/checkbook routine right there. Most people do that sort of thing at home. But that's still no excuse for others to park/wait/bully. He could have moved on and found another space.

Hillbilly Mom said...

River,
I've stood my parking lot ground in the past, but on a car that just stopped, not one that had been waiting so long. I could have continued my routine this time. What was that guy gonna do, get out and pound on my window? Well. He might have. People are crazy these days!