Sunday, after allowing Typhoid Farmer H to dress my leg wound, I headed to the Gas Station Chicken Store for my magical elixir and lone human contact. As I was leaving my driveway, a text came in. It was from my favorite gambling aunt. I haven't heard from her for a month or so, since our last lunch date at the Pizza Hut that was closed with a plumber's truck outside.
"How are you doing? I 'm staying in, have for the past 2 weeks. Stay safe. How does ****** like his new job?"
Let the record show that ****** is the name of Genius's friend. Only Auntie had spelled it one letter off, as does my best old ex-teaching buddy Mabel. They follow Genius on Facebook, so I thought maybe this was some insider knowledge that I had not yet acquired. I'm not on Facebook.
"I'm driving to town now. Did ****** get a NEW job? Haven't heard from Genius in a week or so."
Last I heard, ****** was doing the same job, but had switched from a company that contracted with the big-name employer, to the payroll of the actual big-name employer. Surely Genius would have updated me of any other news. ****** is like family to us.
Anyhoo...as soon as I got to town and parked, I called Auntie. She's a talker, you know. In fact, at the very beginning of the call, I said,
"I can only talk five minutes. I'm on the parking lot at the Gas Station Chicken Store, and if Woman Owner is here, she'll call the police on me for loitering. She runs a tight ship."
Auntie agreed, and proceeded to tell me about her last two weeks of going absolutely nowhere. Like I said, she's a talker. We went on and on. I made four of five attempts to end our chat, without success. Before I knew it, 30 minutes had passed. It was sunny and 70, and the side of my face was getting hot from the sun coming in T-Hoe's window.
"Okay. I really have to go now. I only called because I got that text from you about ******."
Silence.
"Unless that wasn't actually meant for me..."
Turns out it WASN'T!!! Auntie has a grandson by the name of ******, which is one letter off from the name of Genius's friend. And the grandson really DID get a new job!
Oh, well. It was nice talking to Auntie. Even though I could have done it another time, from the comfort of home.
5 comments:
Hey, at least you had some human contact, even though it wasn't face to face. Of course, with Farmer H at home, I guess you don't need anyone else...
So did the GSCS woman give you the evil stink eye after you'd talked more than five minutes? And did your face get a sunburn on one side? I hate chatting on the phone, I prefer texting which gives me more time to formulate an answer. I'm not the quickest thinker.
Sioux,
New blog coming up about my human and inhuman contact with Farmer H!
***
River,
She was actually working the register! Thankfully, she'd been busy making the money drop, and I think had not noticed me loitering. I know about the money drop, because I cashed in a $100 scratcher winner, and she said, "Oh. I just made the money drop. Good thing it's not a BIG winner."
They usually give me a hundred-dollar bill, but this time I got five twenties. That was probably half her twenties she had in the register. Having worked as a convenience store clerk, I felt bad about that, on a Sunday afternoon, especially. But then Farmer H said, "The difference is, SHE has the key to get into the money drop!" So she could have made more change if she needed it.
No sunburn. Just red and hot for a while. I think they're a UV protective tint in the glass. I had some of those glasses that change color in the sunlight, and they didn't change inside T-Hoe. So I couldn't use them as sunglasses.
I would much rather talk than text. I get tired of backing up to correct mistakes. I get even madder when AUTOCORRECT makes my choices for me!
I HATE autocorrect, it's based on American spelling and I use English spelling.
River,
You're lucky if it just changes your spelling, and not the entire meaning by putting in a different word!
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