Tuesday, March 24, 2020

The EGGSacerbation Of Mrs. HM, Part 2: The Germsman

Yesterday, I concluded with my home-care plan to doctor my leg blister. Sweet Gummi Mary, it's hard enough to get in to see a doctor with an actual injury these days! Imagine Mrs. HM seeking treatment with something so trivial as an egg-sized leg blister...

Anyhoo, after my shower, I gathered a clean towel to place under my leg, and laid on the bed for Farmer H to minister to me with a needle soaked in alcohol, to let the fluid out of the blister, and leave the skin intact for protection. The skin is your body's first line of defense against infection, you know. The procedure went well on Thursday morning. I was satisfied with my health-care non-professional. The fluid was drained, and a bandage applied.

Friday was another matter.

Farmer H fiddled about in the bathroom, door open, getting the 3 x 4 inch bandage out of the wrapper, and the poking implement. I had instructed a needle, but he had used a PIN he found in my mini sewing kit. I took his word for it that he soaked the pin in alcohol. However...I did not hear the sink water running.

"Did you wash your hands?"

"Yes...I washed my hands."

With that, Farmer H walked across the end of the bed, on his way to my side, and

BLEW ON HIS HAND!

"WHAT are you DOING? You have that cold! WHY are you blowing on your hand?"

"I'm not blowing on my hand. I'm blowing on the pin. To dry off the alcohol."

"WHAT??? The alcohol is to disinfect it from stuff like your breath! You might as well lick it! All the virus that you're breathing out is getting on the pin that you're going to stick into my flesh! Can you imagine a doctor blowing on his surgical instruments before an operation? They wear a MASK, so they don't breath on the scalpel, or into the cut-open patient!"

"I'm only drying it off."

AS IF having a bit of alcohol get past my skin defense and into my raw flesh could harm me!

I'm pretty sure Farmer H is trying to kill me. On Saturday, the clear fluid that had been filling the blister had a yellowish tint. I'm pretty sure my leg caught Farmer H's cold.

4 comments:

Sioux Roslawski said...

I heard on the radio that if we use a antibacterial wipe (like on a table) and then wipe it off before it dries, it will only kill the weak germs, and the strong ones will not be killed off.

I imagine the alcohol is the same... and you got the added effect of Farmer H's breath...

Lucky you. Ain't retirement grand?

Hillbilly Mom said...

Sioux,
Yeah, he should have left that pin DRIPPING with the alcohol! He might as well have used a rusty nail!

My leg hasn't fallen off yet. Farmer H had the nerve to say, "I don't know...I don't think it's looking any better..." today. Even though nothing was leaking out, and the flesh was not hot. I think he wants to manhandle it some more. I'd leave the bandage off now, but I want that triple antibiotic ointment on it a couple more days.

River said...

You should have made him dip it in the alcohol again and use it right away, no drying allowed. Tell him I said so. Alcohol is fast drying anyway, the pin or needle would be dry by the time he got to you.

Hillbilly Mom said...

River,
I will tell him! He doesn't listen to me! I wouldn't mind a wet pin anyway. As long as it's wet with alcohol, not with Farmer H's spit.