When Is A Helper Not A Helper?

The answer to that riddle is: When the helper is Farmer H!

I called Farmer H from town, to see where he was. He said he was sitting in his recliner, waiting for the washer to be done so he could put his clothes in the dryer.

"Oh. I got us some fried chicken for supper at Country Mart, and some mashed potatoes with gravy for you. Will you be able to help me carry in groceries when I get home? I can't set the chicken on the chair, because the dogs will get it. I'll have to close the car up if I leave the chicken until last, because they'll get up in the car and get it."

PAUSE.

"Yeah. I can."

 

Farmer H did not sound at all enthusiastic about helping me. I guess that's where The Pony got his lack of desire to help people.

 

Anyhoo... when I parked T-Hoe in the garage, I waited a minute for Farmer H to come through the people-door. And waited. No Farmer H. I can't call or text from the garage, because the metal roof blocks the signal. I lose radio reception in there, too.

I reached into T-Hoe's rear and pulled out all four bags. The chicken went on my arm first. Then my purse. Then the Hawaiian Pretzel Slider Rolls with slaw. Then the 2 lb bag of lemons, and romaine lettuce. Then the bananas and potatoes.

As I bumbled through the people-door, there came Farmer H, plopping his rumpus in the metal chair on the side porch. He stood up and reached for some bags.

"A lot of good that does me now. I already have them all on my arm. But you can take the heavy ones, the bananas and lemons."

Farmer H swore that he was sitting there waiting for me to get home. That he had not seen me come up the driveway, because he was ON THE BACK PORCH PEEING.

Farmer H is not a dependable helper.