The Truth Is A Stranger To His Tongue

I called my bank's automated phone line Friday, to balance my checkbook register. Everything checked out just right, except for a debit charge of $66.25. It was on Wednesday. I had made several transactions on Wednesday, but mine were all accounted for. This $66.25 was still "pending," so I couldn't check on that specific amount to hear WHERE it was charged.

Of course I knew it had to be Farmer H. I did NOT know that there would be several parts to this interrogation. Good thing I pay attention to details.

When I left for town, A-Cad was missing from the garage. That was odd. Farmer H always drives SilverRedO, unless he's going to the doctor up north, or down south in Casino Town. Not just to run around town and to his SUS2.5 on Fridays. I didn't see any flat tires on SilverRedO. When he got home, I asked about it.

"Why did you drive A-Cad today? Is something wrong with your truck?"

"No. I still had the guns in there that I got from my supplier in Illinois. So I was taking them to my shop."

Then I asked if he had used the debit card for $66.25. I didn't mention the date.

"Oh. Yeah. That was for gas in the Acadia. For me and Pony to go to the lottery office and cash in your tickets."

"Okay. That was last week. This was on Wednesday."

"Oh. It was for me to go down to Casino Town to my endocrinologist. But I'd also used up gas in the Acadia for your lottery."

"Huh."

I let that info simmer for a while as I scratched my lottery tickets, then made Farmer H's supper. Then a light bulb appeared over my VALedictorian noggin.

"Hey. You said you got $66.25 of gas in A-Cad for the lottery trip, and your doctor trip to Casino Town. But you didn't take the Acadia to Casino Town. You were in your truck that day. I remember, because I was talking to The Pony about it being the hottest day of the year, and I didn't want your truck to break down. BUT I know you took the Acadia to Illinois on Wednesday, because I asked what you were driving, and I gave you the new insurance card for the Acadia. AND you just said that your guns were still in the Acadia from your Illinois trip."

"Well. Yeah..."

"So that gas should not be charged on our debit. It's your responsibility, because it's for your business."

"But I spent MY gas money in my truck, going to the doctor. And the lottery trip DID use up gas in the Acadia..."

"Which is in the Acadia to be used for trips like that to the lottery. Not for your business trips."

"Well, it woulda got put in the Acadia for my doctor trip if I drove the Acadia. I just drove my truck that day. So it's all the same."

Hmm. If it's all the same, why such a roundabout story? And why didn't Farmer H tell me or give me the receipt, instead of waiting for me to find out by listening to the charges on the bank's automated line?