Her Efforts Did Not Bear Fruit

Tuesday I headed over to Bill-Paying Town and snagged some Sister Schubert's rolls that I've been seeking for two weeks. Nary a one in sight for our Easter feast, but on Tuesday, I found TWO metal pans of them in the freezer case at the alternate Devil's Playground. I only bought one. Didn't want to be greedy, you know.

On the way home, I decided to treat myself to a Sonic Route 44 Cherry Diet Coke. It used to be my beverage of choice, you know, when there was a fully-operating Sonic on the way home from Newmentia. Some of my best Diet Cokes have come from Sonic over the years. There's one closer than Bill-Paying Town, but it doesn't have a drive-thru. Mrs. Hillbilly Mom is all about the drive-thru. It's faster, you know, than sitting in a parking space waiting. I'm sure the policy is to move the drive-thru traffic first. Because those customers might just get fed up and drive off.

Also, I was just getting a soda. No need to pull in and wait for a waitress and then fork over a tip. Seriously. Do you know the price of a Sonic Route 44 Cherry Diet Coke these days? Let me answer for you: $2.59. That's highway robbery! I could get THREE 44 oz Diet Cokes at Orb K for that! No wonder I don't make Sonic my daily destination for procurement of my magical elixir. Even at the old Sonic on the way home to the Mansion, we hit the drive-thru at Happy Hour time. Half price! Which is about the same as regular price at a regular convenience store.

Anyhoo...I fixed SONIC, by cracky! I ordered my Route 44 Cherry Diet Coke with NO ICE! Uh huh. I know the best part of a Sonic soda is the ice. But not if you're going to sip it for 10 hours. You want to add your ice later. A little at a time.

Here's the deal. Sonic was backed up. It WAS around lunch time. So not a big deal to me. Even though I thought Sonic took its name because the service was supposed to be super-fast. Sweet Gummi Mary! Their waitresses don't even wear roller skates any more. They are not so much FAST as they are SLOW. But I like their food when I get it, which hasn't been for over a year, I think, the last being a breakfast burrito after I gave a blood sample at the doctor's office lab.

I didn't mind to wait until the line moved me to the pickup window. There were three cars ahead of me. I had a $20 bill to pay. I didn't even hear the price, because the girl cut off the speaker before she said how much. I knew it would be $2 and some change. But I NEEDED change. For a $20. So imagine my not-happiness when a woman came out the little side door with my soda. And another girl came out carrying an order for the truck behind me.

Here's the thing. I didn't ask them to do that. I was trapped in line anyway. I wasn't going anywhere, because I was pinned in. The woman gave me my soda and told me the amount. I handed her the $20. "Sorry. That's all I've got." She had on a black short apron and a metal change tubey thing. She counted out my bills, and chinged out my change. And stood there a minute. I assumed she was fishing for a tip. It could have been completely innocent customer service. But I assumed she was waiting for a tip.

"Did I give you your straw?"

"Yes. Thank you."

She fiddled a minute with her apron. Looked at the truck behind me. Then said, "You have a nice day."

"You too."

I was in the DRIVE-THRU, by cracky! I'm sorry. I was not giving a tip. I had just paid $2.59 for a SODA!

Later, I wished I'd had some Fruit Stripe Gum. So I could have given her a stick. Like Macaulay Culkin as Kevin gave Rob Schneider as the bellhop in Home Alone 2: Lost in New York.