Some Things Are Surer Than Others

You all know that Mrs. Hillbilly Mom is pretty lucky in the games of chance. Only yesterday, she had another scratch-off winner that was worth texting to her sister the ex-mayor's wife.

Being in the winning frame of mind, imagine Mrs. HM's thrill this morning to see that overnight, The Publisher's Clearing House people had been burning up the innernets with emails proclaiming her to have a chance at a winning entry. Oh, yes, my friends. Mrs. HM reads closely. And that's just in the subject line. She did NOT click to open these emails. No siree, Bob! She may not ever enter The Publisher's Clearing House Sweepstakes, but she knows they do not send out emails like that. Especially six of them within 24 hours. Within 12 hours, specifically.

And most likely, The Publishers Clearing House would not call Mrs. Hillbilly Mom "Gloria."

3:45 p.m. Final Alert for Gloria! Selections Expiring  

8:19 a.m. Gloria, don’t say you weren’t notified 

4:43 a.m. Gloria, It’s Confirmed

4:25 a.m. Hillbilly, Only 1 Requirement Left

4:17 a.m. Gloria, the Prize Patrol could greet YOU at 18773 Nathans Pl  

4:10 a.m. Gloria you’re strongly advised to open this 

I'll thank them to stop strongly advising me to open their emails. Sweet Gummi Mary! They're as persistent as those folks trying to hook up with me from the Ethnic Old People Dating service, EthnicElderlyDatingdotcom. Which I had completely forgotten about, until I looked in my 5PAM folder to see if there was any more of the PCH strong advice.

Yeah. Not only am I going to win a huge amount of money from the Prize Patrol...I'm going to win in the game of love, too!