Okay, the Truth in Blogging Law requires me to inform you that most people would not consider this a CLASSIC CASE of manspreading. They reserve that designation for the way a man sits with his legs splayed out, taking up as much room as possible.
However...
Farmer H torments me with his own version of manspreading. INSIDE FRIG II.
I was headed to The Devils' Playground the other day, and I'd cleaned off the top shelf so there would be room for my purchases. I didn't completely clean off that shelf. It's not like I checked all the expiration dates and took out the glass shelf and washed it with hot water, detergent, and vinegar. Nope. I wasn't that ambitious. I know the stuff on the top shelf is pretty current.
When I got home, and, I might add, carried in ALL the bags by myself, and also two six-packs of soda, one eight-pack of soda, a four-pack of water, and a nine-pack of toilet paper...I opened up FRIG II to put away two big Chicken Caesar Salads, and a new deli item that advertised itself as ravioli ready to warm up in the oven, and the only three Turkey and Cheese Pinwheels that I'd stretched for at the very back of the display, up against the wall...I saw Farmer H's MANSPREADING on the top shelf formerly perceived as clean.
There were two bottles of Strawberry Flavored Water, and two bottles of Diet Mountain Dew strewn across the top shelf in the empty space I'd cleared. Not sitting two-by-two, side-by-side. Nope. They were staggered and random. A water here. A water diagonal to it. A Mtn Dew to the side. And a Mtn Dew in the front. Those four bottled beverages were taking up 2/3 of the top shelf!
I moved them logically together, and recovered about 5/6 of the space for my salads and ravioli and pinwheels. I even had room to stack an eight-piece box of Gas Station Chicken Store chicken on top of the salads.
Yes. I made those beverage bottles into an unbound, space-economical, four-pack, taking up only 1/6 of the top shelf.
It wasn't that hard.
Farmer H doesn't understand how he put his beverages into FRIG II the wrong way.
5 comments:
You need photographic evidence. A photo of his manspreading style with a big red circle that has a red line through it like those no smoking signs, then another photo with the drinks neatly stacked in a small corner of the shelf, with a big red circle with a red tick mark inside, indicating correct method. Stick them on the outside of Frig2 at Farmer H's eye level.
I like River's idea, but the problem would be making them actually notice the sign!
River,
That seems like such a simple solution. But I'm sure something would go horribly wrong with Farmer H's interpretation of the photos.
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Kathy,
Yeah. I can imagine him not even looking at it. Saying later that he thought I'd put some of The Pony or Genius's school artwork on FRIG II. Even though it's been over 10 years since either of them brought home any school artwork.
I'm having a vision of your future here: a back porch lined with fridges all belonging to Farmer H with just a few items spread out in each one, and one large fridge with chains and padlock belonging to Val.
River,
I can see that, too! Thing is...Farmer H already has his own refrigerator (the Original FRIG) over in his BARn. Alongside the one we had before THAT. At least they're not on the porch!
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