Trapped Like A Mom In An SUV

There I was, just a-rollin' up the road
Singin' doo wah diddy diddy dum diddy doo
Steerin' the wheel, calm in T-Hoe I rode
Singin' doo wah diddy diddy dum diddy doo

Before I knew it, he had landed next to me
Singin' doo wah diddy diddy dum diddy doo
I yanked my arm, and I wished that I could flee
Singin' doo wah didddy diddy dum diddy doo

We drove on (drove on) to my door (my door)
We drove on to my door, then I blanched a little more

Yeah. I had a strange (and not so musical) encounter on the last half mile home Friday. I was bumping up the poorly-Farmer-H-and-Buddy-blacktopped hill when it happened. A movement in my peripheral vision made me turn and look.

AN INTRUDER WAS HITCHING A RIDE!

Only the thin (okay, thick pane of safety) glass protected me from a deadly sting. Perhaps even death! I was sure of it. I yanked my arm off that ledge, repulsed.

A large stinging critter had settled on the door of T-Hoe. On the rubber weather-stripping on the outside of the window. I watched, mesmerized, as it began to patrol back and forth. Pacing! Waiting for a chance to get at me! If this had happened to Stephen King, we would not have had CUJO.

Sweet Gummi Mary! Had my time come? Was the Grim Reaper sending a surrogate out in the heat, what with his long black robes too steamy for Missouri in August? How could this be normal? Why would an insect (a giant insect) ride along on a T-Hoe for a half mile? No reason I could think of, rather than to STING ME. Again and again! Until I couldn't get away, and succumbed to the venom! It was going to be like The Birds! Only with a single attacker, not a flock.

I was actually getting concerned, as I rolled up the driveway with Copper Jack barking and running alongside, like a dolphin escorting a ship. How was I going to get out of this one? Wait until that beast flew away? He showed no signs of it. I was afraid it might be a yellowjacket. Or a hornet. An insect that means business!

Still it paced. Waiting me out. I took a picture, so show the size of it. And because I didn't have anything else to do while waiting outside the open garage door. But mainly so the coroner could check my phone and see the instrument of my destruction.

You can't see him very well here, because my phone camera decided to focus on the lush greenery rather than the merchant of death. I WAS able to get a closeup.

He wasn't furry, so I ruled out a bee. He's a husky fellow, no tiny waist, so I ruled out a wasp. I was thinking some kind of hornet, or yellowjacket, but the stripes are not as defined or bright yellow, and he doesn't have yellow legs.

The more I got to looking after the fact (oh, yeah, he flew off after about five minutes of pacing)... I have decided that this was most likely a deer fly. Due to the huge head and thick body and almost no antennae that I can see.

Here's a link, if you like trying to solve a mystery.

Don't be thinking that I was not in any danger! A deer fly or horsefly can give a very painful bite, and draw blood, and keep biting!

I am thankful to escape with my skin intact.