King Farmer H is wielding his power again at the Mansion Castle of Hillmomba.
All I did was ask a simple question:
"Have you been eating my chips?"
"Chips? What chips?"
"The chips sitting on the cutting block."
"The only chips I eat was the ruffles."
"We don't have any Ruffles."
"Them ones with the ridges."
"The mini packs in the pantry?"
"No. Them ones sitting out."
"The Cheddar chips with ridges on the cutting block?"
"Yeah. I guess that was them."
"AHA! I KNEW the pack was closed up different than I left it. Almost the same, but different."
"They ain't YOUR chips!"
"I bought them to take down a few at a time in a baggie, with my lunch."
"You and him is the same! It ain't YOUR food! It's MY HOUSE, and I'll eat whatever food I want!"
"What if your candy on the table was gone when you went to get a piece?"
"My candy ain't gone!"
"That's my point. WE don't eat your stuff without asking. We don't care if you eat some, but don't SNEAK IT! So that when we want something we've planned on having, it's GONE!"
"It's my house and I'll eat what I want!"
"EVERY time I go to the store, I ask if you want something."
"I don't want nothin'."
"But you'll eat something WE pick out for ourselves."
"It ain't your food!"
I don't know why I thought talking about it would do any good. First of all, Farmer H started out with his usual stalling before outright lying. AND if he really thought I'd bought those "ruffles" chips for HIM, he wouldn't have tried to fold up the top just like it was, AND put my gently-used paper towel that I used for drying my hands RIGHT BACK ON TOP OF IT!
I'm not as stupid as he wants me to be. Which is what I used to tell students who were being particularly untruthful...
3 comments:
I don't suppose it would do any good to keep your foods separated into labelled boxes, since it clearly ISN'T YOUR FOOD anyway. and I don't like that "MY HOUSE" attitude either. You've been together for decades, that house is as much yours as his, how dare he?
Maybe from now on take any foods intended for yourself down to the lair right away, just put it in a box and let it slide down those rail less stairs, and leave other stuff upstairs that he can sneak bites from and pretend not to.
Hasn't he figured out--after all these years--that you can't be fooled?
And it's HIS house? Where do you figure in in that equation?
River,
Yeah, that won't work, because the king of this castle ain't gonna let a LABEL stop him from eating HIS FOOD in HIS HOUSE.
I used to complain (I know that's hard to believe!) to Farmer H because every time somebody came out to visit, he'd take them on a tour, and say, "This is MY BARn," and "This is MY tractor," and "This is MY creek," etc. When technically, it all belongs to US.
There ARE some things I take down to my lair, in a Country Mart bag looped over my arm. I have a mini fruitcake at my right elbow as I type this. Even though it MIGHT be safe upstairs, because Farmer H doesn't like fruitcake very much. It's pre-sliced, and I have one slice most nights. I just don't want a whole bag of chips, because I'd keep dipping into it, since it's not pre-portioned. If I put some in a baggie to bring down, that solves the problem.
***
Sioux,
Farmer H is kind of slow in that way. He still thinks he can outsmart me! ME! A former VALedictorian!
He always calls things HIS. Wears MY CROCS when he has his own. And let's not forget the atrocity he perpetrated with my BABY BLUE SWEATSHIRT!
Not only does Farmer H lack a funny bone, he also lacks a sense of fairness, and an understanding of boundaries.
Post a Comment