Blame Has Been Shifted

Everything bad that happens around the Mansion grounds has lately been the fault of Pupsie. According to Farmer H. When I questioned why some of the porch boards look skinned up, "Pupsie." Or why part of the hand rail at the side porch has been chewed, "Pupsie." Then there's the issue of the lawnmower seat and the Gator seat. "Pupsie." And just the other day: "That darn Pupsie has chewed the head off my duck that I had in the fish pond!"

I know Pupsie is no angel. She's the age where chewing is a priority. I believed she was doing all the chewing. After all, the evidence is all over the driveway and yard. The cow skull, the cow pelvis, assorted plastic soda bottles that are not the brand Farmer H drinks. Sections of plastic pipe. It's hard to refute circumstantial evidence.

Monday afternoon, Farmer H entered the kitchen all in a tizzy.

"We gotta kill some squirrels!"

"Okay. Why now? I've been telling you they're a problem for years."

"LOOK at this! I took a picture when I parked my truck."

"Um. I'm not sure what I'm looking at..."

"Up there! The siding! Up at the top of the garage wall! Them squirrels have eat the boards!"

"Well, I'm pretty sure you can't blame this on Pupsie."

"The Veteran said he'll come out, and we can pop them with 22s."

"I don't care. I just don't want to get shot."

People shoot squirrels all the time. People eat squirrels. I watched my dad skin many a squirrel after a hunting session. My mom fried up a mean squirrel. Tastes like chicken! Not that I plan on cooking any. But I have no objection to getting rid of squirrels. There will be plenty to take their place. Maybe it will thin their herd for a little while.

"I told you, it's the dog food. You leave it there, and the squirrels come to eat it. They're thriving."

"I only give the dogs enough for them to eat!"

"You have that SELF FEEDER! There's always food."

"No. I put some in every morning. Just enough for the two of them dogs."

I beg to differ. Why use a self feeder when you only put out food EVERY MORNING, just enough for two dogs? It's not logical.

Anyhoo... at least my little Jack is not getting blamed for everything these days. I remember way back,when he was just a pup, and Farmer H's whipping boy. Like the Olds Toronado pooping incident...