Saturday, November 3, 2012

Mrs. Hillbilly Mom Simply Cannot Resist A Good Zinger

I enjoy interacting with my students. As long as it's during the regular school day, of course, and the exchange does not take away time from learning.

There is a sensible lass who often discusses her job activities, outlook on life, and goals for the future during the dead time between the lesson and the passing out of the assignment. A while back, Sensible Lass became the envy of her after-school-job compatriots when she announced that old men give her tips. Since her employment involved working behind a counter rather than waitressing, her cronies were all a-tizzy. "They give you TIPS? Nobody at my fast food place ever gives ME tips!"

"I make sure I'm always really polite. 'Yes, Ma'am. Yes, Sir. Is there anything else I can get for you? Enjoy your meal.' When I'm ringing them up, these old men say, 'You're such a polite young lady. Here's a little something for you.' And they hand me a five. It's great. I'm just doing my job well, and being nice."

I can attest to the fact that she is unfailingly polite. The Pony and I stopped in one afternoon when she was working. She yes-ma'am-ed me quite effectively. Just enough, but not enough to seem smarmy or condescending. I did not, however, give her a tip. I don't do that at counters.

Sensible Lass mentioned that a lady came into her place of business, and by the time she left, she asked Sensible Lass if she could friend her on Facebook. Sensible Lass agreed. "I never turn down any friends on Facebook. There's some really weird guys on there. One of them asked me where I live. So I told him, 'In your closet.' I would never tell anybody my real address. I try not to be mean, but to tell them something ridiculous, but funny."

"You need to be careful. His goal might really be to have you live in his closet."

"I know, right? I never give away anything personal so they can find me. And that lady that wanted to be my friend? She was kind of odd. She had her little boy with her. Or her grandson. She was really OLD. White hair and everything. I almost didn't let her friend me because she was so old. But I never turn anybody down."

Yesterday, Sensible Lass told her posse that she wants to be the cool mom when she has kids. "I want to be the house where the kids hang out. I want them to be able to talk to me. Have them ask me my opinion on stuff. To be somebody they can relate to, and call or text if they have a problem."

I couldn't resist. She tossed it in there just where I like it, a giant grapefruit hanging over the plate, high and outside, for me to smack into right field. "Yeah. But behind your back, they'll be telling their friends, 'She's so OLD.' "


Sioux said...

And just like there's no crying in baseball, there's no staying "hip" in your kids' eyes.

Poor lass. Has she been sniffing too much french fry grease? How addled her brain is, to think that her children and their friends will ask her advice or confess to her when they are teenagers.

She has a lot to learn. She needs a teacher who can provide the proper lessons. I wonder what the titles of the classes would be?

Hillbilly Mom said...

Well, in my spare time, perhaps I could teach a few classes at The Learning Annex. Such as...

Eww! You're So OLD!

Nobody Over 23 Is Cool

How To Get Money From Old People And Then Get Rid Of Them

Breaking A Hip Does Not Make You Hip