Monday, November 26, 2012

Mrs. HM Needs A Flapper Necklace Made Of Garlic

I am about 38 winks shy of feeling rested.

The students are trying their best to share every ailment known to the common man. The nerve of them! They dare to walk down the hall while coughing. To hand in a paper that has not been run through a UV light chamber. To borrow the one pencil that I loan. To turn their head in my direction as I walk by. To lean on my desk, touching papers that I need to touch. To lean over my shoulder in order to see their grade on the monitor.

I am being proactive. I try to take in a big breath when I see a student headed for my desk. To let it out slowly, so as to achieve negative air flow from their breath. I refuse to raise my hands above my shoulders until I have doused them with Germ-X.  No nose-rubbing, eye scratching, lip touching, movements for me. I have already been sick this school year. I remain forever vigilant.

The Pony has a sore throat. His third one since mid-October.

I am thinking of sending him abroad.

4 comments:

Sioux said...

Be afraid...Be very afraid. My colleague went out of town for the holiday and like Typhoid Mary, she got everyone in her family so sick, they were puking for three straight days.

Wear a surgical mask. Attach a can of Lysol to a sprinkler system, so it's constantly spraying around you to form a barrier. Wear a garlic necklace.

Or, take a whole bunch of sick days until the cold/flu season is over.

Hillbilly Mom said...

Sioux,
I like the Lysol sprinkler system. Race you to the patent office! Ready, set...

Hey! Get back behind the line. I didn't say GO yet.

May the best pair of Crocs win.

Kathy's Klothesline said...

Is the cold/flu season ever really over?

Hillbilly Mom said...

Kathy,
Is there really any nutritious value in corn?

See? A question for a question. The same guy poses that one at the lunch table EVERY TIME WE HAVE CORN!

Farmer H contracted the TYPE B INFLUENZA one year in MAY. Which means I had caught it by June. Guess the flu shot for Type A is not effective nine months later for Type B.

Wait a minute! Didn't you have twins after your one and only flu shot? I'll count myself getting off cheap.