Monday, June 24, 2013

Was It Real, Or Was It Memory Lapse?

The innernets are slow today, my friends. Slow, like a kinda short woman, big wall o'hair, face like a frying pan, and a guy with a horse face, big teeth, and flared nostrils trying to buy a chocolate babka at Schnitzer's Bakery.

My cell phone is devouring itself like an Ouroboros. That's the mythological snake eating its own tail. Poor Phony depletes his charge trying to send me photos, then can't send me photos because his charge it depleted.

The #1 son hopped out of bed at the stroke of 10:00 a.m., declared that he was leaving at 10:30 to visit his girlfriend, asked which pair of shorts his brand new shirt went with (after I'd washed his entire shirt wardrobe yesterday so he'd have something to wear), and pointedly ignored the full tall kitchen wastebasket which I instructed him to take out before he left.

The Pony and I hoofed it to town on T-Hoe's back to do the shopping. Funny how things happen that can't quite be coincidence. As we pulled into some prime Devil's Playground parking real estate, The Pony declared, "We're at Walmart, so there's Aunt Sis!" I thought he was jesting. We've seen her the last two Devil visits, walking across the lot in front of the store as we are getting out of the car. Yet there she was! The trifecta of chance familial encounters. We've got to stop meeting like that.

And, as if that wasn't enough of a high point to our day, I heard my name called while I was scanning my debit card to give The Devil his due. I turned around to see none other than the husband of the sister of Sis's husband-the-former-mayor! I think that makes him some kind of inlaw. He's a fellow educator from another district, now retired, who inquired about #1 and his imminent departure for college. I don't know why everyone has to keep reminding me.

Back home, fighting dehydration and heat exhaustion bringing in the supplies, I succumbed to a back spasm. Leaning on the kitchen counter between unbagging foodstuffs did not give any relief. When everything was put away, I told The Pony that I was going to sit down for a few minutes and let my back unclench. Besides, it was so hot, I cranked the thermostat down to a saucy 73 degrees.

I sank into Farmer H's La-Z-Boy and clanked back. Ahh...ten minutes later, I was feeling chipper again. Then I saw it. Real or imagined. Something silver streaked from the front picture window in a straight line across the brown and tan mottled carpet and under my chair! Seriously! It was too thin and fast to be a mouse. Too straight and short to be a snake. I swear! I think I saw a lizard dart across the room. I sat up and called to The Pony in the basement. "You're not going to believe what I just saw! I swear a silver lizard darted from the window to the recliner!"

"Uh huh...I think you need to cool off a little bit more."


Sioux said...

HM--You are fortunate indeed. You spotted the rarely seen "Linear Lizard of Luck." When you see its flash of movement, that means you will stumble upon some good fortune.

This reptile reminds us that there is a straight line between a cause and an effect. You raise 'em right, they WILL leave their home. You take in a great pup from your mom, you WILL end up with a loyal, loving dog. You submit some stories, you WILL get an acceptance (or two).

The next time you see that lizard, capture it under a bowl and send it to me. I need a little luck...

Hillbilly Mom said...

The last critter we captured in a bowl was a humongous millipede that MOVED THE BOWL! The Pony called for #1 to subdue it, and then we all waited upstairs, peeping through the rails down the basement stairs, to watch that bowl.

Farmer H picked up that millipede and held it up like he was eating a Gummi worm. Those things excrete poison through their skin, you know. Haven't you seen Madagascar? We think that's what's wrong with Farmer H.