Saturday, July 6, 2013

"Let Me Step Into Your Office With This Spider," Said Her Guy

Say hello to my little friend.

Okay, he's no more than a passing acquaintance. And he's not so little. In fact, I'm merely a name-dropper, because he's actually Farmer H's not-so-little acquaintance.

Farmer H found him on his cabin down by the creek. Not the cabin proper. The barn he built to go with the cabin. He's a tiny-town-building fool. Have steel-crate scrap-lumber, will build. That's Farmer H's motto. At least this time, he did not scoop up this critter in a baggie and send the #1 son into the house with it. He says the board is 4 inches wide, which would make his not-so-little friend about 4 inches from front legs to back. It's probably another Dolomedes fishing spider, like that last one he hauled home.

I'm not fond of his sharing tactics. At least I heard his heavy tread on the basement steps before he appeared in the dark doorway behind me. "Do you like spiders?"

Yeah. "No. You'd better not have one in a baggie. Get away from me!"

Farmer H pulled out his phone. "See here? It's a big one. I left it there."

If it had been offered for a dollar at the auction, he would have bought it.


Sioux said...

As long as you and Farmer H have been married, and he still doesn't know if you like spiders or not?

What else does he not know about you?

Does he know you're a cracker-jack cook...perhaps you have a specialty like Chex mix that you prepare better than no other?

Does he know you have only lost one battle in the Seinfeld war?

Does he know you have followers who can hardly wait for you to comment on their comments?

I think Farmer H needs to study on you, HM, so he can come off as more of an expert...

Chickadee said...

Why did he bring it into the house? So that it will eat insects? I'm not sure those spiders even do well in houses. They may be better suited to the outdoors.

Hillbilly Mom said...

Opposites attract. I retain the familiarity that would breed contempt. Farmer H knows I whip up a mean potato salad, deviled egg, and Chex mix. Oh, and a delectable tower of soup.

He does not appreciate the genius that is Seinfeld, only heehaws at Kramer's antics. He thinks I am running my own dating service on the internet, devoting all my time to finding a replacement for, or supplement to himself. To borrow a statement from a now-divorced ex-friend..."I already have YOU! Why in the world would I want another one."

This spider he only brought in on his phone photos. The last one, he sent in with the #1 son in a baggie. I suppose he wanted to know if I wanted to take it to school. Yeah. Like I'm going to keep in over the summer and drive it to school in a baggie and find someplace to put it. I made him turn it loose, so he put it on a tree trunk in the goat pen. The preferred vacation destination of a fishing spider.