Saturday, July 27, 2013

The Jack Of All Trades Does Some Trading

Yesterday, The Pony and I picked up my mom for a ride to pay some bills. He wanted to leave his precious laptop in her house, to soak up her high-speed internet and load an alpha version of one of his games. We took her a brown banana. Yes, the pickin's were slim. We were supposed to take her two cake plates that Farmer H bought her at the auction Thursday night, but we forgot. However, while in town, we bought her an order of Captain D's breadsticks. In return, she gave me five dollars.

If we had taken the cake plates, I'm sure she would have kicked in more.

The thing about the cake plates is that Mom told me a couple years ago that she doesn't need any more cake plates. She likes them and all, but she has no room. One of her china cabinets is already full of them. Of course I relayed that message to Farmer H. But like the little banty eggs that Mom supposedly loves, Farmer H makes it his mission to shower her with all that he finds.

Sometimes Mom gives Farmer H cash, but sometimes she barters. He does not expect anything from her in return for his generosity. In fact, one thing that Farmer H is exceptionally good at is the giving of his time and effort to selflessly assist the aged. He loves to listen to their stories, and tell his own. He sees no reason for them to pay somebody for services when he can help out for free. The only reason Mom hired that handyman to put in her basement insulation is because she never mentioned the job to Farmer H. He would have done it in a heartbeat. He likes to stay busy.

Now Mom needs some trees trimmed at the edge of the road, so people in her driveway can see if there's oncoming traffic before pulling out. She said that she used to do it herself, using a rake to pull down the leafy limbs and hold them while she cut it with a long scissor-like tool in the other hand. She does not want to do it herself now, because the land slopes down steeply from the road, and she doesn't want to slip.

She is offering a six-foot section of copper pipe.

I am sure Farmer H will dash on over there as soon as he loads the cake plates. He likes to be needed.


Sioux said...

A six-foot length of copper pipe? I'll do it for her, if that's the incentive.

If the diameter of the pipe is small, I can cut it into short lengths and make "beads" for a necklace. If the diameter is large, I can use it to gauge my ears.

I've been wanting to do that for the longest time...

Hillbilly Mom said...

If you take that plunge, Madam, such adornments would make you a walking, talking, plumber's helper.