Monday, August 8, 2016

Let The Record Show That I Did Not Give The Frank Costanza Lecture On Cup Size

The Pony will be leaving NEXT WEEK for college. So I have limited time to fill up his brain with nightmares.

Today he hopped out of T-Hoe to pick up the mail. A chore I will be doing myself FOREVER after 8 more days. kdjjt jkga  jg Sorry about that. Something got in my eye. The Pony always reads the mail to me. The outside, anyway. He's a bit challenged when it comes to opening an envelope, preferring the peel back the sealed edge technique, which results in many, many tiny scraps of paper.

"Something from the OU Board of Regents. Something from Capitol One for #1. Something for Dad from P & O something, and a catalog for you. Oh. They're having a BOGO blowout on bras."

"Huh. That's good. I need a couple. The favorite I wear around the house is wearing out--"

"NO! I don't want to HEAR this!"

"Oh, come on. YOU brought it up! My favorite is wearing out. The elastic gets all crumbly after awhile, and shifts around in the sides and back until it forms blobs. So if you hug me, don't worry that I have a tumor or anything. It's just the elastic congealed in the back of my bra..."

I hope his roommate isn't too frightened when The Pony wakes up screaming.


Cazzie!!! said...

Haha, I have just laughed so hard I almost fell off of my chair!
My boys don't want to hear this stuff either.
I can't believe we have college-aged children!
Where has that time gone?!

Sioux said...

You COULD have told him about those "water bras" (not that I've ever had one or wore one or wanted one).

fishducky said...

My son was basically my nurse after my mastectomy so nothing scares him any more!!

Hillbilly Mom said...

Hard to believe, indeed! Seems like only yesterday we were talking about our kids in elementary school. Giving them different kinds of nightmares, I suppose.

Hope nobody you know ever sprung a leak like Grace (of Will&) at the art museum.

That's hard-core. My boys quake at the thought of clipping my toenails, or pulling my future oxygen tank through the casino!