Saturday, August 13, 2016

Something Is Rotten Out-Of-Date In Frig's Dark

Frig II has been harboring a secret.

He's a crafty one, Frig II. Every time I fling open his door, that light is on. But I'm sure it's not when the door is closed. Contents sitting on their respective shelves, conniving. Conspiring against Mrs. Hillbilly Mom. There oughta be a law!

Some mornings, I have instant oatmeal for breakfast. A packet of Great Value Brown Sugar Cinnamon. Quick and simple. Only needs up to a half cup of boiling water. Other days, I have a boiled egg. That's not so hard, if you consider the initial effort spread out over the many days you can use those eggs. Sure, there's the boiling. But I do a dozen at a time. Then cool them in a pot of cold water, and put them back in their carton. VOILA! Easy boiled eggs ready for breakfast or salads.

Several days ago, I knocked my boiled egg on a paper plate on the counter to shatter its shell. I rolled it around a couple times to loosen that egg-skin just under the shattered shell. Then I started peeling.

WHAT'S THIS?

My thumb went way down inside that egg! Yuck! I figured it must have been cracked, and water got inside. Sometimes that happens. There's a little pocket of water, and then your misshapen egg peels as normal. But this was MUSH! Mushy egg. Like pudding! I leaned over to sniff that egg. BIG MISTAKE! It was plumb rotten! Icky-poo! So I tossed it off the back porch, washed my hands, and started over with another egg. Everything turned out fine.

So yesterday, I went through my egg-cracking routine. And another egg was mushy! Smelly! Rotten! And when the one after that seemed too pliable upon cracking, I tossed the rest of that boiled carton.

What's the deal? We used to boil three dozen eggs for Easter. Color them. Hide them so they sat out overnight. Refrigerate them upon finding. And they would last for MONTHS in the original Frig! Don't be tellin' me that the vinegar in the dye preserved them. I put vinegar in my boiling-egg water to make them peel easier.

Never have I seen eggs go rotten so fast. And after being boiled, too! They were not old eggs. Not our own eggs. They were eggs in their original carton from Save A Lot, with the best-by date still on the end, still good. I've never had a problem with Save A Lot's eggs, as long as I make sure there are no cracked ones before I buy them.

Something tells me that somewhere, between the chicken's butt and Save A Lot's cooler, those eggs did a little sunbathing on their trucker's pallet. Which ruined them for Mrs. Hillbilly Mom's palate.

3 comments:

Kathy's Klothesline said...

Quick way to kill an appetite! Nothing worse than rotten egg ..... except maybe, rotten potato. I recently had a bad experience with a rotten potato. It looked perfectly normal, nothing to indicate what lay inside. But, or should I say butt, because that is what it smells like, when I picked it up, it popped like a giant zit and the goo hit me in the FACE.

Sioux said...

I agree with Kathy. A rotten potato is worse.

Now I have to try and unsee a giant zit with far-reaching goo-exploding capabilities...

Hillbilly Mom said...

Kathy,
Yeah, the potato takes the cake. We get them every now and then in the bag on our pantry floor. I make The Pony take the whole bag and fling those spuds off the back porch. Sometimes it leaves a liquid trail that needs disinfecting.

I hope your mouth was closed!

***
Sioux,
So sorry that I was not peeling a rotten potato for breakfast, Madam, to go for the ultimate blog post!

Do you ever get your tabloid gossip from the UK Daily Mail? I swear, almost every day they have a picture of a giant zit and some story about Dr. Pimple Popper. Let the record show that I NEVER click on those stories. Who wants to see THAT?