Friday, August 4, 2017

Waiting For The Other Shack To Drop

Life is a perpetual waiting game for Mrs. Hillbilly Mom.

With Farmer H gone to Oklahoma, the days FLEW BY! And now, he's due back. Did you get that? The full gravity of this situation? He's DUE BACK! He left Norman, Oklahoma at 6:00 a.m. To get back sooner, you see. When I'm traveling with him, we don't leave before the crack of 7:30, to enjoy the free breakfast. But Farmer H left sooner, to get back to me sooner!

Okay. You know it just kind of ruins the day thinking about it. I went to town to transfer some money from the boys' college accounts. I paid The Pony's housing. Deposited their money for next month's expenses in their bank accounts. Got gas for T-Hoe. Went to The Devil's Playground, on Friday, at the first of the month, on TAX FREE weekend for school supplies! Picked up my 44 oz Diet Coke.

Since I got home at 1:40 p.m., and Farmer H said he was due to arrive at 3:31 according to his Garmin...I figured there was no use getting comfortable with lunch and my magical elixir until after his arrival. So I put together a batch of Chex Mix just for us. It's delicious, you know, but I'm usually so busy giving it away that we don't get to partake. There were two small containers left after shipping off a substantial supply to The Pony for his apartment-warming. Not that he scheduled a celebration, of course. Farmer H took one container with him for snacking in his motel room. Of course he told me the first night that he ate most of it on the trip down there. You know what my reply to that was?

"You didn't get grease on A-Cad's steering wheel, did you ?"

Anyhoo...I've been having a tiny portion each day with lunch. You know how tiny a portion it is? I put it in one of those tiny pie pans from one of Farmer H's tiny sugar-free pies. Those pans are way flatter than I would like. But it's just enough to be a wise choice, and not go overboard.

The Mansion smells like Christmas! That's how I associate the aroma of my world famous Chex Mix. It has to be stirred every 15 minutes, you know. For two hours. It took me 20 minutes to put it all together. At 2:00, I slid it into the oven. Now I am internetting on Shiba, in the La-Z-Boy, instead of on New Delly, in my dark basement lair. I'm kind of discombobulated. I don't favor a laptop. But it's better than not internetting, and better than climbing 13 stairs every 15 minutes to stir the Chex Mix.

I have the front blinds open, the better to see my master Farmer H as he comes flying up the driveway in A-Cad. Because absence makes the heart grow fonder he really has to pee after 9 hours on the road. Normally, I make sure they're closed in the afternoon, so the sun doesn't heat up the Mansion.

The deadline has come and gone. No Farmer H! I guess maybe he made a couple of stops. Or got behind a cattle trailer. Because I KNOW he didn't slow down to the speed limit. Not with me here, a captive of Chex Mix, waiting.

OH! There he comes now! At 3:38. One more stirring, and our Chex Mix will be done. Just enough time to hear about Farmer H's trip, then get my lupper and go to my dark basement lair while he rests up to go to the auction, and then eats his supper.

Tomorrow I'm sure he'll be back to working on his latest project, which is not truly a shack, but a garage made by putting two freight containers on a foundation, joining them, and adding trusses for a roof. Not that we need another outbuilding, of course.


Sioux Roslawski said...

Oh, HM. I'm so glad he wasn't too late. You don't want to miss out on any Farmer H time...

Do two containers need a roof? Are they not tall enough without the roof? (I've thought of getting one for a she-shed.)

Hillbilly Mom said...

Sadly, he went to the auction a few hours later! Ha ha ha ha ha! I said SADLY!

They don't NEED a roof. The plan is to use a roof to join them together. Not side by side. With a space in the middle that will be big enough for a couple of cars. To rebuild an old pickup, and park the Toronado. Each of the freight containers will be used for storage.

Farmer H had is Toronado parked in one for a while, but without a window, or the door open, it had too much moisture and grew mold on the dome light! Farmer H People Problems!

fishducky said...

17 minutes late!! Are you sure he's not having an affair?

Hillbilly Mom said...

I'm pretty sure the affair was reserved for later that night! Auction night. That's why he called me at 9:53 to say it ran late and he was on the way home, and I asked if that was REALLY where he went for four hours.

Kathy's Klothesline said...

I like the container shed idea. Even though we plan to live in a motor home, I would still like to purchase an acre or two to land on when we aren't traveling. I think that configuration would be a perfect place to park and the storage would be nice .... for HeWho and his junk.

Hillbilly Mom said...

And your animals could have a place to stretch their legs!