I'm pretty sure you've heard of Stonehenge, and anybody with a skosh of conspiracy theory inquisitiveness has probably also heard of the Georgia Guidestones. But you probably don't know about Mansionhenge, Home of the Hillmomba Guidestones.
See it there? In the front yard/field of the Mansion? It sprung up overnight. What's that? You don't see anything? You may have to zoom in. See? Three orbs. Take a gander at this far-off closeup of one:
The Hillmomba Guidestones didn't so much spring up overnight, as late midmorning on Tuesday. When Mrs. Hillbilly Mom flung them there from the front porch. She didn't have time to engrave any special commandments on them. Time was of the essence.
Oh, Mansionhenge, Home of the Hillmomba Guidestones, IS ancient. And just slightly mysterious. It's made of three oranges. ANCIENT oranges! Left from Christmas! You know how oranges are. They don't ever rot. Don't decay. Last forever. Shrink and petrify. UNLESS they're left in a Christmas stocking on accident, where they will turn white and gooshy and possibly sprout mold with three days of Christmas past.
Thing is...there were FOUR oranges in the Christmas stockings. One each in the stockings of The Pony, Genius, Genius's Friend, and Farmer H. Santa doesn't fill a stocking for Mrs. HM, you know. Not even with coal. Which might lead her to change her evil ways. Or not.
Anyhoo...THREE oranges appeared on the kitchen counter the day after Christmas. The fourth one has never been found. None of the guys profess a fondness for oranges. It's a tradition. It's always been a race to see who can get rid of theirs first. "Oh. An orange. I don't like oranges. Do you want mine? Well. What am I supposed to DO with it? Here. You take it. I guess I'll just set it here for now."
The dogs are not even curious. I can throw potatoes off the back porch, and they will appear in the front yard within hours. Eggs? Those dogs carry them around like a new toy, before, like a new toy, destroying them and eating part of it. The dogs haven't touched the oranges.
I'm pretty sure those oranges will be there for many years to come. Unless Farmer H runs over them with the riding lawnmower. And uses them as an excuse to buy a new one. There are still several months until mowing season, though.
NOW OPEN! Mansionhenge, Home of the Hillmomba Guidestones.