Another Farmer H Atrocity Uncovered

I might have discovered why it took Farmer H over 90 minutes to get a heated water bowl for Jack and Juno. All by accident. And thanks to carelessness on the part of Farmer H.

As you know, Farmer H is allowed to use the debit card, but not to carry the checkbook register, or write checks without permission from me. He always waits until I'm at my busiest to lay the assorted receipts on my glasses case on the kitchen counter. Or else he does it secretively after I go to my lair. Also, he folds every receipt in a different direction, to a different size. It's like when the students would bring me an absentee slip, and toss the crumpled thing on my desk.

Farmer H's mistake was that he included the water dish, dog food, and Lowe's receipts all at once. So I couldn't just hurriedly write down the amount. I had to pay attention. Due to Pony House money on the Lowe's receipt. I actually looked at the itemized list of goods on the receipts.

The water bowl was $19.99. But there were two other entries. A Diet Dr. Pepper. And FRUIT SLICES for around $3. What in the Not-Heaven? I can bet that Farmer H did not find a platter of healthy actual fruit slices at Tractor Supply. HE BOUGHT CANDY!

I don't even mind that he spent our house money on his treat. I mind that he bought SECRET CANDY when he is not supposed to have sugar. He might have been in a coma for part of that 90 minutes! I was telling Pony about it on Saturday afternoon.

"Mom. I hear him. He's coming in the door any minute."

Which he did. Freezing me half to death with the chilly air blowing around my bare ankles as I sat at HIPPIE at the kitchen table.

"Um. Is there something you forgot to mention that you bought with the water bowl?"

"No. Why?"

"Oh, I don't know. Maybe something like FRUIT SLICES?"

"Oh. Well. Yeah."

"Where are they?"

"Right here."

Farmer H waved his left arm in a sweeping motion, gesturing from table to door.

"Uh. I'm not seeing them."

"Right here, HM."

Farmer H picked up the coat he'd put on top of the cap he'd put on top of a cardboard box on a chair by the kitchen door. He reached down in the box, and pulled out a clear cellophane bag, about 1/3 full of multicolored candy fruit slices.

"I had to get me some orange slices. I love orange slices."

"Well. I might like them too. Now that I know where they are, I'll be eating them, since they ARE UNDER MY ROOF!"

"Go ahead. Have some."

I didn't really want any fruit slices. Just to make a point. Farmer H was caught in his web of deceit. What else COULD he do, but "allow" me to have some of his special treat.

Like The Pony said, "Mom. You probably wouldn't like having that gummi stuff stuck in your teeth."

Nope. But it sure was fun to act like Farmer H.