Farmer H is floating down a river in Egypt, dreaming of concubines fanning him with palm fronds and feeding him grapes. HE STILL DENIES MAKING ME SICK! What in the Not-Heaven? All the evidence is there! Saturday was his sickest day, and that's when he close-talked me. I didn't even leave the Mansion.
Sunday, I went ONE PLACE. Didn't interact with anybody. Only got scratchers out of the two Country Mart machines. Not even a 44 oz Diet Coke. It was cold with some remaining snow, and I didn't relish getting out of T-Hoe again.
Monday, I bought some groceries in Country Mart. As I came up the frozen food aisle with the glass doors, looking for boneless skinless chicken breasts, a worker was coming down the aisle.
ACHOO!
That dude sneezed, and sprayed it all over! Didn't even try to cover his face. Unmasked. I think Country Mart has changed their employee policy. Still. Didn't his momma ever teach him the elbow trick? By the time I got up to the scene of the grime, those particles of snot would have settled. Besides, I did NOT catch my sickness within a couple hours of being exposed!
Also on Monday, I went to the Gas Station Chicken Store. While standing at the counter, I heard a big dude behind me go
ACHOO!
Seriously? What is WRONG with dudes? I guess their snot is like their seed, they hope to spread it far and wide and often!
Anyhoo... here's the sick bay report for today, my second day of illness. I don't really feel bad. It's hard to describe. I've had many colds more miserable than this. It doesn't come close to my double ear infection. On a scale of 1-10, I'd rate it a 2. That said, I don't particularly enjoy being less than 100%.
Monday night, I must have spiked a fever. I didn't have a thermometer in my lair. I felt REALLY cold. I figured it was just the lair, that little radiator heater not working efficiently. Even the countertop of my desk felt cold through my fleece jacket sleeves. Lucky I had a Pony HotHands in my pocket!
I went out to my OPC (Old People Chair) around 3:00 a.m. I could not get warm! I had the heater and the vibrator functions running. In fact, I could have vibrated the chair without turning it on! I couldn't stop shaking! My neck and back muscles felt like over-stretched rubber bands. I could not relax. I had a Christmas Eve Games fleece throw pulled up to my neck. My arms under that blanket, under my jacket, on my bare stomach to feel the warmth. Yet I couldn't stop shaking with cold. That's when I figured I had a fever.
In fact, I ran a fever for 24 hours. When I checked around 3:00 p.m. it was 100 even. I went back to bed, blanket over my head, for a couple hours. When I got up, it was 99.2. That's not even enough to get sent home from school! Gotta be a full degree over normal. Anyhoo... after a shower, back to 100.
I didn't take anything for the fever, because I figure your body spikes a fever for a reason, to kill off whatever ails you. The worst part of it was the chills, and my hot face, and a slight headache across my forehead from all the HARUMPHing.
I must say, within 12 hours of taking one of those special vitamins, my wheezing went away! However, I had to pee every hour. Not saying the vitamin caused that, but it might have. Those things are HUGE! I hope I didn't just pay for vitamins, but when that thing dissolves in my stomach, a spongy purple dinosaur pops out. I didn't go to town today (Tuesday), because I was COLD, and because I was sick and contagious with fever.
Do you think Farmer H offered to make me chicken soup, or push me off the wagon with a whiskey-ed hot toddy? Nope. He went to his recliner, and said he didn't care what time I made his supper. AND he gave me permission to sleep an extra hour. What a prince!
The BEST thing Farmer H did was suggest that he go pick up supper. Not that he was thinking of ME, mind you. He just wanted something else besides the polish sausage and onion sandwich I was making.
"They was eating fish on Little House on the Prairie. Do you want me to go get some?"
"Where?"
"Captain D's."
"You want to drive all the way to Bill-Paying Town, just for fish?"
"Yeah. It ain't that far."
More on this story tomorrow...
5 comments:
Mucinex helped me a lot with the nasty coughing. I already take zinc and vitami D in addition to a multi vitamin for seniors. My son called yesterday to tell me he has Covid. He lives in MN. The test up there is done with a sputum sample, instead of the nose swab. Only bad part is the results take 2 days. Probably more accurate, though. Theydeliver the test, pick it up and then call with the results. Better than sitting in your car letting a stranger dig around in your nose!!
He won't lift a finger to help you, but will drive all that way because he wants fish. Picture me virtually smacking him upside the head.
Did you know that when you sneeze most of the unseen droplets actually come out of the mouth not the nose? So there isn't snot everywhere, just bacteria laden fluid. Or virus laden fluid. Or clean fluid in the case of hayfever sneezes.
Kathy,
I used to take Mucinex. I haven't had a coughy cold like that for many years. I think the zinc in that vitamin fixed my wheezy crackles. I just do the HARUMPH randomly. It's very liquidy stuff. I couldn't call it congestion.
I am SO GLAD to hear that somebody is doing a spit test! I always wondered why, if people are so contagious that talking and singing will spread it, you couldn't just test saliva instead of nasal/brain fluid!
***
River,
Farmer H has a very hard head. I DID know that about sneezing. In fact, I was just complaining--I mean discussing--that very subject with Farmer H tonight. He puts his LIPS TOGETHER when he sneezes! So it's like a giant raspberry sound. I told him normal people go "ACHOO" and not "APFFTTT."
This is why I wanted the SPIT TEST to be more common for the VIRUS, instead of that nose jab.
Perhaps he's stirring up a toddy right now? Perhaps he didn't make you one earlier because he needed some special, fresh ingredients?
Maybe today will be the day for your toddy...
Sioux,
Such a sad suggestion, to raise my hopes. Farmer H is RIGHT NOW sitting in his recliner watching The Waltons or Gunsmoke or some wacky crossover of the two. I swear I heard Elizabeth talking to Miss Kitty.
At 7:06 a.m., he was already out of the Mansion. No toddy in my future.
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