Friday, April 15, 2022

A 14-Month Party In The Back

I have not visited Terrible Cuts since February, 2021. That's 14 months of growth for my Lovely Lady-Mullet. That's a very long time to allow a Party in the Back. The Business in the Front has been cut short several times. I take the scissors from the bathroom drawer, and butcher away when my bangs become annoying.

To be fair, The Pony DID try to trim my Lovely Lady-Mullet twice. On the back porch, with a pair of orange-handled knock-off FISKARS, supposedly adhering to the instructions I gave him second-hand after watching a video about undercutting on YouTube. You might imagine the results...

Actually, The Pony's maiden effort did not turn out too bad. It was the second attempt that was atrocious. It was almost as if The Pony DIDN'T ACTUALLY CARE ABOUT HELPING PEOPLE! 

Anyhoo... with our upcoming CasinoPalooza, I figure it's time to make myself more "socially acceptable" if I'm going to be allowed to be seen with my sister the ex-ex-mayor's wife. We won't discuss the color of the Lovely Lady-Mullet at this juncture...

6 comments:

Sioux Roslawski said...

I overheard a female friend (someone close to my age) say, "I don't even remember what my natural hair color is."

These days of fake lips and fake noses and fake eyelashes and fake boobs... An "enhanced" hair color seems tame next to the rest of the options.

Hillbilly Mom said...

Sioux,
I remember what my natural hair color is. I prefer my current hair color not to be white. Or hot pink.

River said...

How much growth do you get in 14 months? I have slow growing hair that might get about two extra inches in that time. Or four if I'm lucky.
I know what my real hair colour is, there's brown underneath the grey with some white over all of it. I'm sort of a tabby I guess.

Hillbilly Mom said...

River,
The internet ate your comment, but a sharp punch to the gut caused it to "refund" your words!

It's hard to judge the growth, since The Pony chopped it twice during that time. I think mine is about average: half an inch a month. So without The Pony's cuttings, my lovely lady-mullet might have grown 6-7 inches.

My hair would be white, like my grandma's, I think. I don't currently have an urge to find out. The faded gray-look at the roots was enough.

Kathy's Klothesline said...

I have been cutting my own hair since the Great Quarantine of 2019. I did get one "professional cut" with a mask on and hated it. When my daughter complimented my self cut, I knew I was onto something. This child of mine speaks the truth, even if it might hurt feelings. So I knew she was sincere. I stopped coloring it and am content with my gray hair. But, I am older than you!

Hillbilly Mom said...

Kathy,
I hate to go get a haircut anyway. I especially did not enjoy it while masked! I'm sure your self-cut was better than The Pony's ME-cut! My hair would have been white since I was 30 if I did not color it! Despite a couple of the Country Mart checkers being kind on the age verification for my Pony-wine receipt... I am a bit older than 30. But you knew that!