Farmer H and I were planning to attend the yearly dinner hosted by our credit union. My sister the ex-ex-mayor's wife and the ex-ex-mayor also belong. They said they were going. I decided I did not feel like sitting like a packed sardine, just for a free meal and a chance at door prizes, and The Pony had to wait at Pony House for the internet installer. So Farmer H went by himself.
I had asked Sis a few days ago if Farmer H could sit with them. You know, since he's such a shrinking violet and has trouble making friends... Sis said they would look for him.
Anyhoo... off Farmer H went at 5:15, for the event which started at 6:00. It's about a 25-minute drive. He sent me a text.
6:07 "Your Sis and Mayor are no show as of now"
6:07 "They said they were going."
6:09 "I am going to the auction"
6:09 "Not eating?"
6:10 "Whatever. I'll text them."
So I sent a text to Sis.
6:12 "Farmer H has been waiting at CU dinner. Said since you're not there, he's going to the auction. So don't look for him, or save him a seat."
Sis replied.
6:15 "We are here. I am sitting by him right now. Ex-Ex-Mayor told me it started at 6:30!"
6:16 "Then Farmer H is a liar! He texted me two minutes before I sent yours."
Much later, more info was revealed.
7:52 "We had just sat down in our seats when you text me about not saving him a seat."
7:53 "He didn't answer me when I texted about him leaving and not eating. I told him I'd let you know. NOW Pony has texted me that Farmer H is at Pony House!"
7:55 "Well anyway he wasn't lying when he said we weren't there because we just got there when you text me. Yeah it is over. We are on our way home."
7:59 "Maybe he's on his way to the auction, which is probably almost over by now."
8:21 "OMG! I just came out of the bathroom, and Farmer H was SITTING IN THE LIVING ROOM!"
Seriously. I could have died from a heart attack! I'm pretty sure Farmer H is trying to kill me.
If he and Sis had just been more clear about what they were trying to tell me, it would have been much easier. Farmer H could have said,
"I am going to eat and then go to the auction. OR "They just got here." OR "I'm at Pony House, headed home, no auction."
And Sis could have said,
"We just got here. Thought it was later."
I am not a psychic when it comes to mindreading these misinformers!
4 comments:
It reminds me of that famous line from "Cool Hand Luke."
Sioux,
Yes, Madam. That's EXACTLY what we have here!
That's a Right Royal Stuff-Up! Did Farmer H actually get to eat anything? why was the start and finish time not more clear? I'm glad you stayed home, but not happy about getting a shock seeing Farmer H sitting there in the living room.
River,
Yes, he ate. He was planning all along to go to the auction AFTER eating, but did not convey that in his message. The menu was: Beef Brisket or Fried Chicken, Mashed Potatoes and Gravy, Green Beans, Salad, Dessert, and Drinks. Farmer H had cheered when I read it to him, and shouted "FRIED CHICKEN!" So I'm sure that's what he had. He also won $10 as a door prize.
Farmer H's sudden appearance, without warning, when I thought he was 30 miles away at the auction... was more frightening than the usual appearance of Farmer H.
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