Tuesday, April 26, 2022

Farmer H Brings A New Meaning To "SMOKED HAM"

Farmer H still has that buddy up at the Storage Units who brings excess foodstuffs left over from the program his wife runs to distribute food to those who can use it. He hasn't brought the regular boxes of food in quite a while, but this past weekend, he brought Nutter Butter Cookies, and packages of sliced ham.
 
Farmer H has two 16-oz Family Packs of Nutter Butters. They have not yet been opened. He also has two packs of smoked ham slices. Not like a holiday ham. Just like lunchmeat. I didn't see the packaging, but I'm assuming each one was a pound. They are round slices in clear plastic. Farmer H opened one, and we put it in two Chinese Tupperware containers.

Here's the thing. Farmer H had the ham in The Original FRIG over in the BARn. He brought the two packs over on Sunday afternoon. He carried them in and set them on the cutting block. Then put one in FRIG II, and cut open the other pack to have a sandwich, and put in the Chinese Tupperware.

Sunday night, I found THIS on the cutting block:

 
I have posed it here on the kitchen counter, but it was found on the cutting block, next to the bag of medical supplies that we'd brought back from our CasinoPalooza trip. At first, I thought it must be a fake Mucinex tablet. Like maybe Farmer H had take some with him and it got shuffled around in our stuff on the counter in the hotel room

It was definitely squished, and I was planning to throw it away. I turned it over to see what was on the other side:

 
That's not fake Mucinex! That's NICOTINE GUM! Oh, sure. Right away, you're going to assume it's OURS, due to being EXPIRED already, heh, heh. But let me assure you, nobody in this household has ever had a need for nicotine gum. We are not smokers.

Admittedly, I have taken a puff or two when goaded by my Cuba MO teaching buddies during poker games. But I never smoked a whole cigarette. Definitely didn't need any nicotine gum to break a habit. Nor has Farmer H. Nor The Pony. 

I might have been persuaded that a loose, attempted-shoplifting tablet could have fallen into the bag that The Pony brought out of Walmart when he bought our first aid supplies. Except for that expiration date.

I asked Farmer H WHY there was nicotine gum on the cutting block.

"I don't know. Unless it was the ham. Maybe it was stuck to the ham. I don't know nobody who would need it except my buddy who gave me the ham."

Well. That is curious indeed. With ham you get nicotine.

4 comments:

River said...

When living in a mansion, one must always expect the unexpected. And this is definitely unexpected.

Kathy's Klothesline said...

Well, that is a different condiment than normal!!

Hillbilly Mom said...

Kathy,
You ain't a-woofin'! I would have settled for a packet of mayo. Even expired, though maybe not from 2021.

Hillbilly Mom said...

River,
Just one more service we offer. If you're a smoker wanting to quit, we've got you covered! For one initial dose, anyway, which may or may not work, due to the expired status.