Mrs. Hillbilly Mom Is Interviewing New Drug Dealers

I firmly believe that one should not have to be medicated in order to pick up medication. Yeah. I'm crazy like that.

Due to circumstances initiated by the minions of...let's call it the Ceilingred's Pharmacy chain...I shall be seeking a different dispenser for my prescribed drugs. Is it not enough that every single time I have entered that store to pick up medication, save one, the process was a textbook case of clusterfreakery? I have tried to remain loyal. I like the regular employees. But they cannot perform their duties cheerfully and efficiently with both arms and a leg tied behind their eye-dagger-stabbed backs. It comes as no surprise, really, that every time I pass that facility lately, the parking lot is not full. That there are a mere handful of patrons waiting when I maneuver myself through their inconvenient maze of aisles. Poor customer service and higher prices will do that to a business.

Yes, today was the last straw. It has come to the point where I EXPECT poor service. I stopped by yesterday to give them a copy of my new insurance card, which has been in effect since July 1. I still have Farmer H's family plan as well. I gave the clerk both cards, to make sure they kept Farmer H's on file as the secondary. Two insurances from which to choose. Before Ceilingred's took over, the facility used both. If my primary didn't cover it, they used the secondary. Ceilingred's is Satan's Shoppe.

Satan's rep sent me an automated call that my prescriptions would NOT be ready this morning. I called back to talk to a real person in the Shoppe. Just as I suspected. Mine were ready. The #1 son's was not. No need to wait on his. I stopped by to pick up mine. First the clerk said one of mine was missing as well. I pointed out that a receipt was folded over. Okay. All there. She rang it up. $170.00. I don't think so. I questioned her while refusing to pay.

"Don't you have insurance?" she asked.

"Yes. I have TWO insurances. I brought in the cards yesterday, and my account was updated."

"I'll have to go check." She went behind the counter to a woman I did not recognize. That gal pecked at her terminal. She said that my insurance WAS used. I disagreed.

"Your insurance is BLAHBLAH."

"No, it is not. It is WAAWAA. I brought in the cards yesterday when I asked for refills. The girl at this register took it and said it was updated."

THAT GIRL was working the drive-thru window. She turned to the back-counter gal. "I DID update it. I put it in just like on the card."

"Well, it's not here. It's BLAHBLAH. What IS your 'new' insurance?"

"It's WAAWAA. I don't know specifically which plan. Because it's new. I thought this was taken care of yesterday, and all I had to do was pick up my prescriptions today."

"Your insurance is BLAHBLAH. It does not cover one of those medications."

"I told you, that is NOT my insurance. I work for the Hillmomba school district, which had that prescription card for the month of June only. So did other teachers at several schools around here in the same insurance consortium. Everybody here knew about it when I brought in that other card in June. It was no good after June 30."

"It says here that coverage has ended."

"That's what I just told you. And I brought in my new card yesterday. I'll go out to the car and get it." I came back with the whole kit 'n' caboodle of insurance cards. "Here. These are the two I showed her yesterday. This is the new primary."

THAT GIRL said, "I put it in yesterday."

"Yes, I saw you. I thought the whole thing was taken care of. Now I have to wait anyway, all over again."

The back-counter gal, self-appointed MINISTER OF FREAKIN' PHARMACY MANNERS, said snottily, "Let's not get all excited."

That, my fellow Hillmombans, is what drove me over the edge. I will get as freakin' excited as I darn well please, dagnabbit, and the MINISTER OF FREAKIN' PHARMACY MANNERS and the entire Ceilingred's chain can kiss my ample corn-fed behind. Darn them all to not-heaven.

This customer is always right.

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Additional facts that were not the precipitating factor, which hinder the flow of my wrath include:

# They had not even billed the secondary, but were trying to charge me the retail price, a tactic to which I do not cotton, what with paying out the yingyang for TWO insurance premiums

# The card-scanner thingy would not register my Ceilingred's saver card to give me store points for my transaction.

# The card-scanner thingy would not allow me to put in my PIN, but kept showing a screen that wanted me to check a donation of $1, $5, or $10 to move on with the transaction. It took the clerk five tries with her thumb after mine failed three times and our combined efforts with the stylus failed over ten times.

# I stood waiting over 35 minutes with my little Pony searing his heels in T-Hoe

# While I stood waiting, a car pulled up at the drive-thru to pick up two prescriptions, and the price was 57 CENTS.