Saturday, January 20, 2018

I Really Hope I'm Not THAT Weirdo

This morning I put on the jacket I have hanging over the basement stair rail, to take some stale grease bread out on the porch for Jack. The dogs have been doing without their regular evening snack, due to cold temperatures and early darkness and my intermittent winter driveway walking. Instead, I give them extra cat kibble as I come and go on my way to town for a 44 oz Diet Coke. Oh, believe me, they have adapted. I can't sneak out the kitchen door without them coming running to greet me before I get into the garage.

Farmer H was in the house, and I saw Jack laying by the Gator in the front yard. So I grabbed the foil-covered pizza pan holding bread that I'd soaked in the juices from roast potatoes/carrots/onions with bacon laid on top. Since Farmer H had been wearing a jacket, I figured it was still pretty cool outside. Maybe in the 40s.

I put on the heather jade-green snap-front baseball-style jacket that I wear when I'm out and about, or in the casino where it's always too cold. I drape it over the rail so it's ready when I need it. I don't do anything to get it dirty. Casino smoke makes it stink, but that usually dissipates within a day, even if I don't wash it immediately, what with the wind blowing on it, and just hanging free. It kept the chill off while feeding Jack. Trust me, that's heather jade green, not baby blue!


Farmer H came out, and after calling Juno around for her share, I asked him to dump the remains of some Chex Mix out in the yard for Copper Jack. It was just Cheerios and some almonds. The stuff Farmer H leaves behind. He took that pizza pan, and FLUNG the Chex out into the grass.

"Seriously? I could have done that! I wanted you to tilt the pan and pour it into a pile. Not make him search for each individual Cheerio in the grass."

"He'll eat it. He's a dog."

Yeah. Okay. I guess the excuse for how Farmer H distributed the food is, "He doesn't know any better. He's a man."

Anyhoo...I came back inside and took off my jacket and SAW BROWN STAINS on the upper right front shoulder, and the neck band!

Sweet Gummi Mary! Had I been walking around Walmart like that? Through Country Mart? How long had my jacket been stained? I swear I didn't see it two days ago when I wore it to town. Yesterday I didn't wear it at all, and wished I had, because the wind was cold, even thought the sun was out, with a high in the 50s.

I put it in the washer with a couple of towels. I'm really hoping that I'm not the weirdo people see walking around in stained clothes! Sure, I wear my ratty baby blue sweatshirt. But only around the house! I'd never wear it out in public! I'm hoping I didn't parade around the public in a soiled jacket.

I'm hoping that it was dried muddy footprints, from Jack jumping up on me at the side porch a couple days ago. I remember scolding him. He likes to get his face right up by mine, and try to stick his tongue on my lips. I remember pushing him down and getting him cat kibble when I came back, after setting some bags on the porch chair.

Sure. That was it. My jacket got dirty when I came home, and I didn't go out in it. Yeah. That's gotta be it.

2 comments:

River said...

The jacket looks grey though my screen, so I'll take your word on the colour. I've sometimes gone out in whatever I've thrown on and come home to notice the knees are grubby or there are small oil spatter stains on the front from frying something the night before. It's annoying enough to make me scrutinise my clothing under strong lights for a while, then I forget. Mostly I go out in clean clothes. I hope the casino smoke really does dissipate and it isn't just you getting used to the smell. I've been at the checkout having to serve people who wear smoke permeated clothing that hasn't been washed all winter or forever, and the stench really affects me so badly, there were even a few people I had to stand way back from or ask them to please go to another checkout, which isn't easy early in the morning when mine is the only checkout open. So many days I would get home and cough for hours, huge rib-busting coughs, until I eventually threw up.

Hillbilly Mom said...

River,
I definitely notice the smoke, and don't get used to it. That comes from never having been a smoker. You could always tell the kids at school who lived in smoker homes. And I was a pretty good detective for sniffing out illicit cigarettes in the boys' bathroom that was next to my classroom. It didn't have a closing door, just one of those maze entrances.